Dedicated Dad: Check Your Email

[Netpackrat]

That's like people who are so morbidly obese that they get a "handicapped" plate for their car. And they park in the handicapped spots at the Chinese resturant with the all-you-can-eat buffet, while they're inside gorging themselves. My heart DOES NOT go out to them.

Since they clearly don't give a shit about their own hearts, I doubt if they care much about any reaction (or lack thereof) that they cause in yours.

[308Mike]

Perhaps a combination of Mike's own knee pain and a righteous dislike of scroungers made him a bit testy?

Guilty as charged. It's not hurting so bad today.

Dub, I wasn't sure if you were kidding or not or how much you were aware of what DD's gone through. Some people read those kinds of posts, others don't, and yet others don't read them and will still make disparaging comments from the sidelines displaying their own ignorance - but that doesn't mean the subject of the comments might not feel the barbs even if he knows they are uneducated/uninformed. So, not knowing how much you knew of his situation made it kinda' hard for me to know if you were kidding or not, I wasn't sure if the laughing face was laughing AT him (unaware of his situation and saying he's doing the same thing as NPR's story), or because you were kidding, so I tempered my comments hoping you were kidding but not knowing for sure.

I know DD's been under quite a bit of stress. For a while he was fighting everyone who was denying his coverage and disability even though they knew they were on the hook for it legally. They were bouncing him back and forth, trying to bend him over each time. And when he didn't have any money coming in, his wife was stressing over possibly losing the house - and on top of all that, here's a man who wants to work (but physically can't) and his own values make him feel as useful as a lump on a log - not to mention what the different medications were doing to him. All this combined to make him VERY depressed. Long-term pain medication usage can have a DRAMATIC effect on male testosterone production and we've been trying to spread the word to those we know who are on pain meds to make sure they get their testosterone level checked, 'cause it has a BIG effect on how you feel, and has a whole host of related issues for men's health.

Hopefully, his doctors have got him back on a more even keel and AFAIK, he now has *SOME* money coming in, even if it's nowhere near what he used to make. Later on, he's going to have to pay back the family members he borrowed money from to keep his family fed, sheltered, clothed, and warm. So even though I'm on the other side of the country, I try to do what I can to help him get back on his feet, just like I would do for anyone else here in the same situation.

Other than DD, I'm also keeping my eye out for jobs for tfbncc (Ray) too. Hopefully, he's been to a couple more job interviews since he got his suit.

[Dedicated_Dad]

I'm indebted to, and humbled BY you - Mike and others - more than I can say.

I didn't take any offense, and likely WOULDn't -- even if I THOUGHT someone was taking a poke at me. I didn't (think I was being poked) in this case, but even if I did I know in my heart why I am where I am so it's going to be hard to offend me.

I landed in this big-@$$ hole because I continued working 100+ hours a week for years, ignoring the pleas from my family and even threats from my Docs to declare me "disabled" against my will.

I cannot WAIT to get back to work, but the reality is that I'm going to need another surgery to fix this thing - possibly a complete revision of this knee. Knowing that's the case, I simply can't afford to lose the income I have until I am "fixed." The worst thing that could happen to me would be to go back to work for a couple of weeks, lose my disability, and find I can't hack it or have the Docs FINALLY figure out how to fix this thing and need 3-months off to heal...

I KNOW how it sounds, but I also know my own heart - I damn near worked myself to death - literally - and will probably do so again when I am able to do so.

I also want to take this opportunity for a PUBLIC "mea culpa." I am a man of my word, and it's a VERY VERY rare occasion when I fail to do what I promised. I am ashamed to say that I made a promise to Mike a while back and didn't keep it. I have a bunch of excuses - any one of which I am sure Mike would consider "just cause" - but to me that's irrelevant. One failure to keep a promise renders a reputation for "unbending integrity" absolutely worthless.

Mike: My belated "promise-keeping" is inbound to you as of tomorrow's mail pickup. I am truly sorry, and - though I don't deserve it - hope you'll give me "the benefit of the doubt" here and believe the truth: this is not typical for me.

It speaks volumes for this man's character that - though he had every reason to believe I'd screwed him over - he was still the first one to jump to my defense. I am more grateful than I know how to say...

DD

[Dedicated_Dad]

Let me add something else Mike touched on, just in case anyone missed it before:

Gents: If you're on ANY sort of pain-killer for any length of time, or just find yourself more weak and tired than you used to be, PLEASE ask your Doctor to run a testosterone test.

Mike - literally - saved my life with this advice. Where "normal" was in the range of 250-1100, mine was 54. I was so weak and just plain "sick" that it was all I could do to get out of bed. Though I'm still fighting my Doc to get to where I need to be, I'm a damn-sight better than I was. Now that I can see a way out of this hole I've been in, I've got a grasp on just how sick I WAS. It's not hyperbole when I say it's a miracle I didn't eat my gun.

I've spent the last few days manufacturing a device that allows me to walk - for the first time in years - without pain. With suitable refinement, it may actually allow me to return to work!

Thanks again to everyone - ESPECIALLY Mike - for all you've done for me.

DD

[308Mike]

I hope you didn't send me a check you can't afford, 'cause if you did, I just might frame it and put it on the wall in the hallway.

[Lokidude]

I also didn't read James' comment as having a go at DD - the difficulty of whose situation we all appreciate - or at anyone other than real malingerers. Perhaps a combination of Mike's own knee pain and a righteous dislike of scroungers made him a bit testy?

Now if you want to see real malingerers, here's what they look like.

I'm calling serious bullshit on that family. I stand 5'4". At my worst, I weighed 250 (17.85st). I currently run right around 220 (15.5st). I've been employed for five years in a very physical job, and been constantly employed for the past decade. That family is not too fat to work, they're too damn lazy and they know the government will never tell them to do something for themselves. </rant>

[308Mike]

I'm calling serious bullshit on that family. I stand 5'4". At my worst, I weighed 250 (17.85st). I currently run right around 220 (15.5st). I've been employed for five years in a very physical job, and been constantly employed for the past decade. That family is not too fat to work, they're too damn lazy and they know the government will never tell them to do something for themselves. </rant>

And can you IMAGINE that on the scale of the ENTIRE USA under the dhimmicraps!?!?!?!??!?!?!?

THAT should give you nightmares!!

[Dub_James]

I'm sorry for your troubles, DD. I've only had a sampling in the last year in my own life of what you've had to go through, but my taste alone gives me appreciation of your plight.

Remember, you're still here; you're still with us, and that counts for everything. Let's keep it that way

And I can understand the oversensitivity of a friend who cares, Mike. Would that we could all claim such friends as you.

[308Mike]

And I can understand the oversensitivity of a friend who cares, Mike. Would that we could all claim such friends as you.

You can. You're here, one of us, and we DO care. we're not afraid of work, nor helping each other out with a helping hand up - which comes in a LOT of forms. I would do the same for you as I did for DD. Thankfully, through whatever is available, few of us need much assistance - usually just enough to tide them over for a bit. On occasion it's happened more than once to people with legal issues, through no fault of their own - and MANY of us dig deep to fight injustice being forced on good people.

In particular, I recall one person who had a new family (with recent addition) who needed a helping hand. After the hat was passed, he told us compared to their church (which has a MUCH, MUCH larger congregation), our contributions to help them out FAR exceeded the generosity of their church - much to the chagrin of his wife (who was actually embarrassed by the church's response), who felt the church was their best option.

There's that one time, raising money for a member to fly back home for a parent's funeral when their own family wouldn't chip in and we paid for the plane tickets; and the marathon to help Chris and Mel fight the DICKHEAD FROM CANADA in the custody battle for her kids are the ones which stand out in my mind right now; - but there have been others (several others) like getting Ray his suit; helping Kim & Connie; funding gun drives for deserving people (I WISH I could have been at the presentations), etc., etc., etc.

We have a community here, we watch out for our own, and we're glad to call you a member of our family. Unfortunately, we don't have a T-shirt yet.

Who's going to work on it?

[Netpackrat]

We have a community here, we watch out for our own, and we're glad to call you a member of our family. Unfortunately, we don't have a T-shirt yet.

Spreading chaos and dissention everywhere I post, and I didn't even get a lousy t-shirt.