Alt-history writing project
- MiddleAgedKen
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Re: Alt-history writing project
Thanks for the clarification -- that makes a difference. Seemed like a larger gathering on first read. Maybe "The three officers" or some such rather than "Everybody"?
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- Captain Wheelgun
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Re: Alt-history writing project
Another snippet: The plot thickens, literally...
Removed due to upcoming publication of Book 2. See my post on 09/07/2022 for more info.
Removed due to upcoming publication of Book 2. See my post on 09/07/2022 for more info.
Last edited by Captain Wheelgun on Wed Sep 07, 2022 3:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Alt-history writing project
Indeed, the plot has thickened nicely. Also, your story telling has improved much since book one.
Ray
Ray
- Captain Wheelgun
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Re: Alt-history writing project
Thank you, Ray.
"What is this, the Congress Avenue Independence Day Parade?" - Capt. Karl von Stahlberg, RTN
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- Captain Wheelgun
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Re: Alt-history writing project
Here it is... the first big battle. This kinda hurt to write.
Please let me know where I’ve screwed up, or where I can make it read better.
(Note: Admiral Baines has turned over tactical command to Admiral Chandler.)
Removed due to upcoming publication of Book 2. See my post on 09/07/2022 for more info.
Please let me know where I’ve screwed up, or where I can make it read better.
(Note: Admiral Baines has turned over tactical command to Admiral Chandler.)
Removed due to upcoming publication of Book 2. See my post on 09/07/2022 for more info.
Last edited by Captain Wheelgun on Wed Sep 07, 2022 3:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"What is this, the Congress Avenue Independence Day Parade?" - Capt. Karl von Stahlberg, RTN
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- Netpackrat
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Re: Alt-history writing project
Getting to kill off LBJ had to have eased the pain of writing that....
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"People come and go in our lives, especially the online ones. Some leave a fond memory, and some a bad taste." -Aesop
- Captain Wheelgun
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Re: Alt-history writing project
True...Netpackrat wrote: ↑Wed Jun 15, 2022 11:34 am Getting to kill off LBJ had to have eased the pain of writing that....
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- randy
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Re: Alt-history writing project
I don't suppose you could work an Ensign Lloyd Bentsen onto that casualty list?
...even before I read MHI, my response to seeing a poster for the stars of the latest Twilight movies was "I see 2 targets and a collaborator".
- Captain Wheelgun
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Re: Alt-history writing project
Hmmmm, they haven’t found out about the battle back home yet, so the casualty list is still up in the air...
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Re: Alt-history writing project
I was going to make some comments on the exorbitant amount of damage that each fleet took, with expert witness testimony, multiple examples of actual surface warfare actions, and the 47 glossy photographs with the circles and the arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what the picture was.
Then I thought it over again and decided that this is your story. Your description of the battle lends itself to the drama of the story just fine. So I decided to just sit back and keep my mouth shut. Carry on.
Ray
Then I thought it over again and decided that this is your story. Your description of the battle lends itself to the drama of the story just fine. So I decided to just sit back and keep my mouth shut. Carry on.
Ray