New Device For Securing Classrooms Against Shooters

[BDK]

I disagree somewhat, in that I do believe sheep and sheepdogs can communicate in ways that make each others' team efforts more likely to succeed.

You know, there's, probably, a decent career as a consultant/public speaker in that...

[Yogimus]

My dream job is to be a physical security consultant for schools.

[workinwifdakids]

My dream job is to be a physical security consultant for schools.

I'm waltzing toward that as we speak. I'm just nailing down a few things first.

[skb12172]

Well, I'm a LEO academy graduate and I have public school certification. How could I get in on that?

[workinwifdakids]

Well, I'm a LEO academy graduate and I have public school certification. How could I get in on that?

I have some ideas. Me you and Yogi should talk.

[Weetabix]

Well, I'm a LEO academy graduate and I have public school certification. How could I get in on that?

I have some ideas. Me you and Yogi should talk.

We'll want to see photos of that meeting...

[skb12172]

Indeed…to both of the previous two comments.

[Aesop]

Somewhere, deep inside a shuttered mayonnaise factory somewhere outside Detroit, sometime soon...

"So first, everyone passes through the concrete containment tube, and then into the whole-body MRI," explained Yogi.
"No problem," said Weetabix. "I've got contacts that can get us great deal on concrete culvert, and I think my wife knows a guy who can get us a discount from GE on the MRI."
"But what about the kids with braces?" asked Workinwifdakids. "Won't that pull their teeth right out of their heads?"
Yogi did some quick calculations. "Probably not at this range and power setting. If anything, it'll straighten their teeth faster. But if they're packing, the safety circuit boosts the power output. It might blow their family jewels off when they smack into the wall. Either way, the ones who stick to the wall will make it easier for security to walk in and zip-tie 'em."
Workin let out a slow "Oooo...kay," then added "but what about the ones who always try to sneak over the fence after we shut the gates?"
Weetabix pulled aside the sheet over the scale model, "As you see, the twin 12-foot fences with razor tape should slow them down enough for the Dobermans and Rotts on the center dog-run to get to them."
"Dobermans and Rottweilers? Excellent!" mused Workin.
"With frickin' laser beams on their heads." added Yogi.
"I already have quotes on the doggie head-mounts and lasers from three tech firms hurting for business since sequestration, and there's four breeders lined up to deliver all the dogs we need within 90 days of authorization."
"And I just heard back from that custom limo company in Texas. They say stretching MRAPs and making them look like ordinary schoolbusses is no problem. They wondered why no one ever suggested that before. God help the first sumbitch who doesn't stop when the red wig-wag lights flash. The miniguns' IFF has trouble telling soccer moms in an SUV from a vanload of terrorists. Bitches better HALT!"

[First Shirt]

Why don't I find any of the above post outrageous and over-the-top?

[workinwifdakids]

I think Aesop should be our corporate publicist.