10 Ways that JJ Abrams Ruined Star Trek

[Mike OTDP]

The Dark Side is more powerful. After all, it only took two Sith to demolish the entire Jedi order...and cook hot-dogs with blue bolts of force lightning.

To hell with it. I'm hoping they do a decent big-screen treatment of the Lensman Series one of these days. Doc Smith knew how to demolish a planet properly.

[Aesop]

Personally, I'm hoping NewKirk finally does the right thing to Yeoman Rand, and their love child runs away from home and becomes a pirate smuggler named Han Solo.

At that point, the sci-fi/fantasy streams cross, but who cares? Tribbles are genetically muatated into Ewoks, the Klingons cook and eat Jar Jar, and we find out C-3PO is just a cyborg Vulcan.

[Rich Jordan]

and we find out C-3PO is just a cyborg Vulcan.

Oh my goodness gracious me!

[Rich Jordan]

To hell with it. I'm hoping they do a decent big-screen treatment of the Lensman Series one of these days. Doc Smith knew how to demolish a planet properly.

Could also do the Heinlein multiverse stories where a small group actually traveled to Oz, (I think) Barsoom, the Lensman universe, and possibly (though they didn't run into a ship) the Star Trek universe (the real one not the current fruitopia)

I'd love to see the Skylark series too, but no way they could do justice to it or the Lensman series in politically correct hollywood.

[Greg]

To hell with it. I'm hoping they do a decent big-screen treatment of the Lensman Series one of these days. Doc Smith knew how to demolish a planet properly.

Could also do the Heinlein multiverse stories where a small group actually traveled to Oz, (I think) Barsoom, the Lensman universe, and possibly (though they didn't run into a ship) the Star Trek universe (the real one not the current fruitopia)

The Number of the Beast. Cross-licensing the different properties would kill you.

[Mike OTDP]

..the Klingons cook and eat Jar Jar

You have no idea how much I wanted Palpatine or Lord Vader to stab Jar-Jar in the gut with a lightsaber. Give him just enough time to say, "Meeza DEAD!" before expiring.

It would have been hysterically funny.

[dfwmtx]

Senator Jar-Jar Binks: "Messa sold the Republic out for space-spiff!"

If they ever re-boot Star Wars episodes 1-3, they need to get the guys from "Breaking Bad" to do it. Now there was a good story about a man's temptation & fall.

[Windy Wilson]

I have to admit I enjoyed the new Star Trek movies. I had the singular advantage of zero expectations, zero capital outlay and zero sobriety at the viewing. They were good romps, but not Sci-Fi, and not really any flavor of Star Trek. They were more comprehensive "reboots" than the new "Italian Job" and the last "Four Feathers". I'm glad I didn't pay money to see them.

[dfwmtx]

They were more comprehensive "reboots" than the new "Italian Job" and the last "Four Feathers". I'm glad I didn't pay money to see them.

Well, the director of the latest "Four Feathers" did say on the commentary track that he'd rather have made a film about the Madhi. That should tell you something. THe Heath Ledger version is the only one I full remember; my recollection of an older color version is rather hazy, something with pineapples and British accents worthy of "Upper Class Twit of the Year" awards.

[Aesop]

Heath Ledger is hopefully being butt-f***** in Hell for that version of "Four Feathers".
It's dead to me, but it does make me relish him getting skewered every time I see The Patriot, when I briefly root for Lucius Malfoy.

One can either watch the Ralph Richardson version, or the very splendid TV version with Beau Bridges and the always watchable Jane Seymour at age 26. As a bonus, it rather exactly follows the novel, unlike the 2002 Al Qaeda version of the story, with Ledger.