How do these people have enough neurons to speak?

[MelodyByrne]

Someone I talk to on a pretty regular basis has a 6-month-old. She asks me a lot of questions concerning her baby girl since she's a first-time mother and evidently I'm the most experienced, level-headed mom she knows. This by itself is kinda concerning, since shouldn't she have more people around her who have a clue?

Evidently not. Though I am outclassed in age and experience by those around her, I blow them out of the water by keeping up with actual medical trends and knowledge and actually having COMMON SENSE.

To make things worse the baby is special needs (not too far off the main part of the bell curve, but there are some things to watch out for) so she doesn't completely trust her instincts because hey, the "experts" told her this and they know so much better than she does. Fortunately she's willing to try different things if her original method doesn't work so I'm not continually banging my head against the wall.

Various things I've "enlightened" her on so far:
1. Bottles don't need boiled every use. Modern plastics used in bottles inhibit bacterial growth so generally all you need is hot water and dish soap.
2. Water doesn't need to be boiled every time. Unless you're on well water or an otherwise sketchy water source the risks are extremely low. Filtered water will generally do.
3. Feed the baby until she stops asking for more. The vast majority of babies won't overeat unless you push them to, so the moment she stops wanting the bottle, stop. Her pediatric neurologist had been telling her to limit food intake in order to prevent vomiting. The baby kept vomiting. I said it was more likely she had excess stomach acid due to not eating enough and to give feeding her until she stopped a try.
(The combination of 1, 2, and 3 meant that for 2 months she'd been getting up every 3 hours, boiling water and bottles, waiting for the water to cool, then not feeding the baby until she was full. She messaged me the next morning after doing what I told her and said I was a genius... first night sleeping through the night.)
4. Being slightly late on milestones for a baby who'd spent considerable time in the hospital is not unusual or worrying, despite what the neurologist said.
5. Get a different fucking pediatric neurologist.
6. Your baby is not overweight, despite what your mother in law says. Overweight babies are very rare, and a baby who is at the same (albeit high) percentile in height, weight, and head circumference is not only not overweight, but is also the very definition of "healthy" weight.
7. Stop listening to your mother in law, she's a moron.

A couple of months into this (once a visible pattern emerged for her) she started taking everything with a grain of salt and actually doing extensive research. Now when someone tells her something incredibly stupid and harmful she looks it up herself and then bitches to me about how stupid these people are. Mission accomplished.

That being said...

Today her mother in law came up with what might be the stupidest thing I've heard all month.

Baby girl is suffering from teething and growing pains. Being familiar with both at this point (baby boy has both really bad at times) I suggested dosing her bottle with tylenol (baby girl vomits when given tylenol straight, not an uncommon problem), giving her a bath, and massaging her legs. That generally does the trick for us.

So today she messages me that it worked, and that baby girl was peacefully asleep. However, her mother in law was driving her nuts, criticizing her for giving the baby because there's a "link" between infant tylenol and ADHD and autism.

Once I picked my jaw up off the floor from the depth of this stupidity (which was laughed off by the mom in question, and resulted in husband putting his mother in her place, finally), I did something stupid.

I looked up whether or not this is actually a "thing".

OMFG there are people out there claiming that infant tylenol, something given to almost every baby in this country for the last 20 years, is somehow "linked" with autism.

Their reasoning? "Almost all children diagnosed with autism were given tylenol following their first MMR vaccination."

*headdesk*

You mean like EVERY OTHER BABY IN THIS ENTIRE COUNTRY. It's only what the docs tell you to give babies if they have a slight fever or injection site pain after vaccination.

So, children diagnosed with autism have something in common, which happens to be the same something they have in common with almost every other child in this country, and that's somehow a scare-worthy, "let the poor babies suffer", correlation with autism???

Do you even understand how science works?

How do these people manage to breathe, much less speak?

(The fact that these people consider autism to be tantamount to a death sentence and something that should be avoided even though such avoidance could cause actual death is an entirely different, though important, rant.)

[Jered]

How do these people manage to breathe, much less speak?

Through the mouth?

[skb12172]

Thank God she has you. I wonder how the woman managed to raise her own son? It's a fair question, given what we know.

[Aesop]

This is reason #4,297 why, if I ever meet her in person, I will do the time for assault, and sock Jenny McCarthy in the face a few times, on behalf of every ER nurse in the country.

You might either give or suggest your friend purchase What To Expect The First Year, put out by the same people who did What to Expect When You're Expecting.
Since dollars to donuts MIL can't read, your friend will become a pediatric rocket scientist in no time.

[308Mike]

Thank God she has you. I wonder how the woman managed to raise her own son? It's a fair question, given what we know.

+1000 Roger that!! And I can ALMOST guarantee they voted for Obummer!!

[Jered]

Is she looking for a job in school administration? I bet she'd fight right in.

[MelodyByrne]

I wonder how the woman managed to raise her own son? It's a fair question, given what we know.

I can't give details, but he is one of those whose wrecked childhood led to a wrecked adolescence which required pulling his head out of his ass in his late 20's. Plus his mother was imprisoned for an appreciable portion of his life for non-violent crimes.

[evan price]

The same for the vaccination haters.
I swear, Dr. Google has the worst curriculum but somehow manages to stay on the top of the reference list.

[MelodyByrne]

You might either give or suggest your friend purchase What To Expect The First Year, put out by the same people who did What to Expect When You're Expecting.
Since dollars to donuts MIL can't read, your friend will become a pediatric rocket scientist in no time.

After the first 5 questions I made sure she picked up a copy. Part of why we've moved into the "check out the ridiculous thing someone told me today" territory.

[Aesop]

Bravo!
The planet-wide IQ increases another 10 points.