Proper Possum Pedicure

[Aesop]

Nope. Never happened.

This is one of the occasional times I think this particular source has gotten something right.

[PawPaw]

I once cornered and trapped a possum in our backyard.

I was 16 years old, mowing the grass, and found a possum hiding under a canoe. It ran for the corner of the yard and I trapped it there, dropping a big box on it. It was hissing and snarling, and threatening havoc. We wrapped it in a big towel and stuffed it in an animal carrier.

I knew this pet shop where I had sold surplus hamsters, so I called them and asked if they wanted a possum. "Sure." they said, so I put the carrier in Dad's truck and drove over to the store. Brought the animal carrier in, and the nice lady at the counter looked at the possum and put a large rubber glove on her right hand. One of those gloves that goes almost to the armpit. Good move on her part. She reached into that animal carrier, and I don't know if she grabbed the possum, or the possum grabbed the glove, but she lifted that possum out of the cage and it was a twirling ball of fuzzy indignation and fury. She carried it across the shop, opened a small cage with her left hand, and pitched possum, glove and all into the cage.

Then she turned and walked to the cash register, took out $15.00 and handed it to me. "That possum is upset. What do you feed him?"
"I don't know. I've never fed him."
"How long have you had him?"
That's when I looked at my watch.
"Do you mean to say", the lady asked "that you've just sold me a wild possum?"
"Yes, ma'am."

I wasn't allowed to sell surplus hamsters in there any more.

[skb12172]

That's like the time on Carson when a female guest had a cat in her lap. She asked Johnny if he'd like to pet her pussy. He said she'd need to move her cat.

Oh yeah, I remember that episode. I was a senior in HS. Laughed my balls off.

[skb12172]

Yeah, just read the Snopes article. It was the 1989 Fonda episode. I knew I remembered it from my senior year.

[Weetabix]

I wasn't allowed to sell surplus hamsters in there any more.

Where were you harvesting feral hamsters?

Pet shop story from my yute: A friend and I were at the dump with some .22's reducing porcelain fixtures to their component atoms. I'd left one rifle leaning on my car. Came back, and it had tipped over, and a snake was sunning itself on it. Buddy wanted to shoot it. On my rifle.

I got a stick, pinned its head, and grabbed it behind the head. Drove back to town, one-handed with this thing wrapped around my arm and went to the pet store.

Me: "Is this snake poisonous?"
Clerk: "Nah. It's a rat snake."
Me: "Cool."

So I had a pet snake until my mom "accidentally" let it escape. It sounds a bit silly now, but I'd probably do it again. I never gave it a chance to bite me. Although now, I know how to tell the difference between venomous and non venomous.

[Greg]

I wasn't allowed to sell surplus hamsters in there any more.

Where were you harvesting feral hamsters?

I guess it's time we had the talk. When a boy hamster and a girl hamster really love one another......

[Aglifter]

PP, should anyone ever doubt you're from LA, just tell them that story…

[PawPaw]

Where were you harvesting feral hamsters?

Believe it or not, I once raised hamsters. When you've got two or more, you suddenly realize you have a surplus. So, when I got several dozen, I'd sell the surplus. The local store would buy them for $2.00 each and that was a lot of money to a kid in junior-high school in the mid '60s. A movie cost a buck for the Saturday matinee, and gas was 19 cents a gallon.

Once upon a time, we had some hamsters get loose, and they infested the neighborhood until the local cats got their act together. It was kind of odd to see a cute, little furry hamster waddle across the patio. The neighbors were mortified, but our little subdivision learned to adapt and the local cat population ate very well for a while. People as far as three blocks away were finding hamsters for months.

[Aesop]

I'm picturing a neighborhood overrun with hamsters like they were tribbles.

[First Shirt]

I've had pet raccoons, ferrets, and skunks. Had a cousin who had a pet fox, and another one who had a longhorn steer that was broke to harness and would pull a cart. Had a friend in high school who had a pet bobcat. (There was some serious upscuttle when it killed and ate the neighbor's toy poodle!)

But I've never actually seen a pet possum before.

That's .... different.