The Parrot

[Bob K]

I had no idea there were so many parrot jokes.

[Erik]

I had no idea there were so many parrot jokes.

And they are international too. With the exception of the Egyptian parrot, I think I've heard all of them in Swedish.

[The Quiet Man]

A young fella bought a parrot even though he was warned that the bird was incorrigible and nothing but trouble.

Well, the first morning after he brought the bird home he heard a commotion in the back year and found the parrot screwing the chickens. The fella grabs the parrot and asks just what he though he was doing. The parrots responds, "hey pal, they're chickens...dumber than blondes...what would you have me do?" The tells the parrot that if he catches him screwing the chickens again he would pluck out all his feathers so he better mind his manners from here on in.

A week later he catches the parrot screwing the chickens again and true to his word he plucks the parrot bald...Kojack bald. To add insult to injury the guy tells the parrot that he will be hosting a party that evening and he would be required to sit on the piano and greet the guests with the phrase "Ladies coats to the left and mens coats to the right" with out the benefit of his beautiful plumage.

When the guests began arriving they were amused by the bald parrot and his instructions as they entered. One couple came in and the man happened to be bald and when the parrot gave his greeting to this couple he said "Ladies coats to the left...and you, chicken fucker, up here on the piano with me!

[randy]

This is visual, and I hope I can relate it verbally.

During the 1973 Mideast war, some Israelis overran an Egyptian position. The only thing alive was a parrot.

An Israeli soldier asked the bird, "So, what do you think now, Mr. Egyptian parrot?"

The bird responded, "F*ck Moshe Dayan!!"

The Israeli soldier, enraged, taped the bird's beak shut.

"Now what do you think, Mr. Egyptian parrot?"

The bird covered one eye with a wing, and made an obscene gesture with the other.


And Happy Thanksgiving to all!!

A variant of that joke came around when I was in Nav School. It generated a student only code to use around Instrutors and other ranking officers. Placing a hand over one of your eyes was enough for the others to fill in the blank, in other words a way to tell a fellow student "FU" without the adult supervision catching on.

[HTRN]

HTRN, you've just re-posted the original post

Dammit. I copypasta'd the wrong joke.

oh well..
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A woman had a female parrot which kept saying: "Hello, I am very horny. Do you want to have some fun?"

She was frantic, so she went to her Pastor to find a solution to the problem. The Pastor said, "Bring your bird to my house. I have two male parrots who read the bible and pray all the time. They will be a good influence on her."

So, the woman brought the parrot to his house and put her parrot into the cage with the two male birds. She squawked, "Hello, I am very horny. Do you want to have some fun?" One male parrot looked at the other one and said, "Put away the Bible, our prayers have been answered."




HTRN

[Joe ex PNG]

Of course we need to do one of the best of all time:

"Hello, I wish to register a complaint..."

[Erik]

Of course we need to do one of the best of all time:

"Hello, I wish to register a complaint..."

That one never gets old. "THIS is an EX-parrot!"
I heard that when they did it live, he added one more euphenism every show.

[Combat Controller]

HTRN, you've just re-posted the original post

Dammit. I copypasta'd the wrong joke.

oh well..
=================================================
A woman had a female parrot which kept saying: "Hello, I am very horny. Do you want to have some fun?"

She was frantic, so she went to her Pastor to find a solution to the problem. The Pastor said, "Bring your bird to my house. I have two male parrots who read the bible and pray all the time. They will be a good influence on her."

So, the woman brought the parrot to his house and put her parrot into the cage with the two male birds. She squawked, "Hello, I am very horny. Do you want to have some fun?" One male parrot looked at the other one and said, "Put away the Bible, our prayers have been answered."




HTRN

LOL and you posted another joke that has already been told a few posts back!

[Old Grafton]

The old guy gets on an elevator and at the next floor a punk-style 20-something gets on complete with leather outfit, chain-drive stuff and a tall, multicolored Mohawk-style haircut. As the elevator rises the old guy gives the kid the once-over and the punk bristles up with "What are YOU lookin' at, old man?!?" The old guy smiles and says "When I was your age I was stationed at Subic Bay and one night after a bunch of us got drunk the other guys talked me into screwin' a parrot. I just thought you and I might be related."