moose42 wrote:So I'm getting ready to get piles of rejections from publishers so I figured I need a synopsis.
Let me know what you guys think.
Synopsis
Alone is the story of Martin Miller, an IT guy whose whole world changes in an instant. Everyone vanishes leaving him all alone, King of a nation of one. How is he supposed to go on when everyone he loved is gone? With only his dog for company he begins preparations for his survival. He battles insanity, until one day he picks up a short wave radio transmission from Katrina a Nuclear Research student who is clear across the country, he plans to drive to meet her but winter storms make him put his plans on hold. He finds a young woman named Sarah and he becomes a surrogate father to her. During the winter they discover a little telepathic monkey like alien who they name Furball. He explains to them an alien race called the Masters are behind the disappearance of billions of people. He begins teaching Sarah how to unlock her own telepathic abilities.
In the spring they set out for Boston. After running into the aliens who caused everyone to disappear and killing a small band of them, they find NORAD is still operational. They pick up a couple Airmen there and continue toward Boston. Along the way they run into vicious alien monsters. Marty and his crew save Katrina from the Masters. On the way back to Colorado Springs the Masters drop kinetic kill weapons on Cheyenne Mountain killing everyone inside.
They decide to try Area 51 for survivors and meet a couple of helicopter test pilots and some of the Masters sworn enemies, the Thii-Ru-Duun (Bringers of Death.) Who arrive and destroy the Masters mother-ship but not until their ships are damaged beyond repair. Now two marooned Alien races have a new battle ground, earth.
Marty’s crew travels to northern Idaho to begin a new settlement when Furball contacts his peoples Matriarch. They discover she’s being held by the Masters in Canada and is being forced to use her telepathic abilities to manipulate vicious alien beasts that threaten the survivors.
Using a Black-hawk helicopter and an alien shield generator they fly to the rescue. They save the Matriarch but the helicopter gets hit during the firefight and crashes. The survivors manage to commandeer an abandoned truck and return to their settlement. Life goes on and the survivors, begin to have children who will inherit this new and dangerous world.
For what it's worth. I think this is WAY too long. I am at work now and didn't bring along the book I am reading for a comparison of what is on the back as a teaser.
If you are trying or a teaser to entice the publishers, I think it may be the correct length, but WAY too dry. Your writing style is flavorful and has texture. This does not.
How about :
Alone
The Story of Martin Miller, an IT geek who must become Grizzley Adams, Davey Crockett and MacGuiver all rolled in one after he wakes up to a deserted (town martin lives in). With only his newly adopted dog bandit's companionship to keep the loneliness in check, he begins his quest for answers to why his wife, children and the rest of humanity has disappeared.
His search drives him through despondent loneliness to the thrill of meeting another survivor, a pre-teen girl Sarah. They keep each other sane as they battle to retain a patina of civilizations perks. With the discovery of Sarah, Martin decides there may be other survivors and decides to broadcast for others on a shortwave radio. This turns up Katrina, a Nuclear Physics research student in Boston.
With several months of shortwave collaberation and an entire winter to plan the trek, Martin, Sarah and Bandit embark for Boston with the hope of adding a third person to their new tribe. Along the way, our intrepid band discovers they are not alone in the Universe, not even close. One group of interstellar aliens "The Masters" has abducted almost every human for use as feed stock. A separate smaller group of aliens is fighting a suicidal crusade against the genocidal "Masters" unaware of the plight of humanity. A third group of enslaved aliens is used as psychic bloodhounds by "The Masters". During the cross country trek to meet Katrina, Martin and Sarah save members of the two sympathetic alien races. Thus a resistance cell to fight "The Masters" is born.
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I may have played a little fast and loose with the time line, but I think something more generalize and enticing would be more effective than a sanitized outline of the action.
