Response To Kim's "Pussification" Essay

[First Shirt]

Mark Twain said "He can compress the fewest ideas into the most words of anyone I've ever encountered."

Obviously, he's met this fellow.

[skb12172]

Yes, the essay was poorly written. At times, so poorly written that I was re-writing it in my head to keep from cringing. Yes, a lot of Kim's social attitudes were a bit dated and/or snobby. Furthermore, he and the Mrs seemed to take a heavy hand in requiring us all to agree with them, or face ridicule.

That said, his observation was valid, as Carolla and others have affirmed.

Just because some equally pretentious snot writes a book to refute and ridicule the original doesn't mean it was in any way inaccurate.

[skb12172]

I'll agree that he was on to something. Even the "rebuttal" agreed with that. But the things he picked to rail on about were retarded. As Kim said himself later, it wasn't very good, a knee-jerk post that got a little out of hand.

Oh I like him too, but that doesn't stop me from observing and analyzing.

Try this- he's from a prosperous upper-middle-class aspirational background, and as such he apes the behaviors of the class he so wishes to be, that is the gentry or aristocracy. His cavalier approach (pun intended) to things and aristocratic attitudes have cost his family dearly and led to several of the train wrecks we read about at length on his blog. (Cue Radiohead 'You Do It To Yourself (Just)' in the background....)
:

I still cringe thinking about that arranged marriage business.

Was that the business where they came to the forum looking for a mate for Daughter? Unusual, that...

[blackeagle603]

ya'll realize how much of the world still arranges marriages? I'm not mentioning that to argue for it but to note that worldwide it may in fact be nearer "normative" to have significant parental involvement in spouse selection that what ya'll think is "normal."


India alone....

[skb12172]

ya'll realize how much of the world still arranges marriages? I'm not mentioning that to argue for it but to note that worldwide it may in fact be nearer "normative" to have significant parental involvement in spouse selection that what ya'll think is "normal."


India alone....

I always thought that might be where he got the idea. They visited India as a family shortly before he threw the offer out there on his blog.

[free_me]

ya'll realize how much of the world still arranges marriages? I'm not mentioning that to argue for it but to note that worldwide it may in fact be nearer "normative" to have significant parental involvement in spouse selection that what ya'll think is "normal."


India alone....

First rule of communication: know your audience. Don't know Kim or this incident, but expecting this audience to be hip to the idea of an arranged marriage marks him as aloof or tone-deaf. Definitely sounds a bit on the eccentric side and definitely interesting. Is he still around?

[Termite]

..... he and the Mrs seemed to take a heavy hand in requiring us all to agree with them, or face ridicule.

That was WAY more Connie than Kim.

Kim would respect a differing opinion if you could make a logical & rational arguement supporting it.
Connie, not so much; probably due to her medical problems. As her husband, Kim felt honor-bound to support her emotionally, even when he privately thought her wrong at times. It sometimes put him "between a rock and a hard spot".

[skb12172]

..... he and the Mrs seemed to take a heavy hand in requiring us all to agree with them, or face ridicule.

That was WAY more Connie than Kim.

Kim would respect a differing opinion if you could make a logical & rational arguement supporting it.
Connie, not so much; probably due to her medical problems. As her husband, Kim felt honor-bound to support her emotionally, even when he privately thought her wrong at times. It sometimes put him "between a rock and a hard spot".

You are correct. I graciously accept the correction.

[skb12172]

ya'll realize how much of the world still arranges marriages? I'm not mentioning that to argue for it but to note that worldwide it may in fact be nearer "normative" to have significant parental involvement in spouse selection that what ya'll think is "normal."


India alone....

First rule of communication: know your audience. Don't know Kim or this incident, but expecting this audience to be hip to the idea of an arranged marriage marks him as aloof or tone-deaf. Definitely sounds a bit on the eccentric side and definitely interesting. Is he still around?

Yes, he lurks on here occasionally. He is definitely still around. While we've pointed out some of his flaws in this thread, I also feel compelled to say that we consider him one of "us." We all have flaws and, his aside, we share extreme respect and affection for him.

[blackeagle603]

As for Kim and Connie -- love 'em and thankful for all they initiated and contributed, respect Kim's writing and wit tremendously, wish them well whatever they're up to now. Nobody's perfect whether in life or writing. Always gonna be some bones in the stew. Eat the chicken, leave the bones. Grace is the grease that makes lasting relationships.

Here in San Dog we see a lot of arranged marriages (by degrees). Am peripherally involved in one union being sought now. Young man in our church from Uganda has established himself here very well in the past 7 -10 years. Family in Uganda now has asked that we help him find a "helper."

It's not so much a matchmaking responsibility as it is them putting their blessing on us a church generally, and upon one older man among us in particular, for assessing "fit/suitability/reputation" and blessing the match as the Ugandan families proxy. Any choice this young man makes will be his but subject to "senate oversight."

Implied in this tasking it is the freedom and responsibility to goad the young man along if needed in finding a spouse. Sort of "it's time, git goin'! No more Mr. Extended Adolescence Teenager for you. "