This reminds me of that school out in California that was teaching that peanut butter sandwiches were racist…and the school backed them. I thought he was kidding at first, but alas, he is serious. Your preference in turkey or pork means you are racist…
An excerpt taken from the middle.
Why have we broken the chains of the whiteness that bound us to fatally tasteless white bread while still remaining imprisoned in the white-meat turkey ghetto?
A friend was trying to convince me that in fact America has lost its taste for this tasteless meat, but the Sunday before Thanksgiving I was listening to the CBS all-news radio station in New York City, and they were doing a fluff piece on the turkey buying that was peaking that weekend. And the reporter was interviewing some guy from Stew Leonard's, a food mega-store that serves New York City's sophisticated suburbs and exurbs in Westchester County and Fairfield County, Conn.
And the guy was boasting that his turkeys were "bred to have 18 to 22 percent more white meat." After which the CBS announcer made a stupid wisecrack about breasts that alone would make you want to forgo the silicone-textured mega-butterballs.
And these are ciabatta-bread people, not Wonder Bread people! Do they still associate white meat with refinement? It was enough to make me wonder whether there could be a racial, if not racist, subtext here. Perhaps there is a clue in the shifting fate of the "other white meat"—pork. I'll never forget the moment when I learned the antebellum racial origin of the phrase "living high on the hog." I had driven down the I-5 "grapevine," that fog-shrouded mountainous interior route from San Francisco to L.A. with a couple of Communist Party women who were mothers of death row prisoners (long story). When dawn broke and we arrived in Watts, they guided me to a place called Ray's Redwood City, an all-night, almost all-black joint where the ladies of Saturday night dined with the ministers of Sunday morning (not at the same tables), and my fellow travelers ordered me a dish called "high on the hog," a mountain of scrambled eggs topped by a fried pork chop.
It was then I learned the etymology of the phrase in America. It hails from the plantation days, when the white slave owners dined on choice pork chops cut from "high on the hog" while the slaves made do with the lower parts of the pig—the ham hocks, the pigs feet, the pork bellies, and the innards. White meat was high on the hog, but not higher on flavor than other (often darker) cuts. Indeed the "other white meat" now available most frequently in lean and tasteless pork chops and cutlets has little more taste than white meat turkey.
Let us therefore resolve to immediately change all poorly named "Black Studies" programs to "Racial Envy Studies", and increase academic honesty by an order of magnitude.
And let's have one of them open up a supermarket that serves only ass meat from the least-appetizing portions of the bestiary, so that we may observe how capitalism weeds out stupidity with machine-like efficiency.
"There are four types of homicide: felonious, accidental, justifiable, and praiseworthy." -Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
Let's not forget that racist anthem, Irving Berlin's "White Christmas."
As proof of its racist origins, recall that white is the color of privilege, and of course, during the integration of the US armed forces many white soldiers sang, "I'm dreaming of a White Battalion."
The use of the word "but" usually indicates that everything preceding it in a sentence is a lie.
E.g.:
"I believe in Freedom of Speech, but". . .
"I support the Second Amendment, but". . .
--Randy
Windy Wilson wrote:Let's not forget that racist anthem, Irving Berlin's "White Christmas."
Great movie as well. One of my wife's favorite Christmas movie.
I tried to share one of mine. I have pleasant memories of watching Bing Crosby in 'Holiday Inn" at my grandparent's house. Unfortunately, I forgot about one of the character's doing a blackface routine during the middle of it. My wife got some outrage and refused to keep watching. Talked about that situation with my best friend. He made the comment that people get called racist for doing the blackface routine all the time, yet no one ever called the Wayans brothers racist for "White Chicks".
"Arms are honor; slaves have neither."
"I am Chaos, I am alive...and I tell you that you are free!" -Eris Discordia
There's gotta be a mayonnaise joke in there somewhere.
Maybe we're just jaded, but your villainy is not particularly impressive. -Ennesby
If you know what you're doing, you're not learning anything. -Unknown
Sanity is the process by which you continually adjust your beliefs so they are predictively sound. -esr
Obviously the author has only had mass produced, store bought turkey. Turkey's raised in our back yard, eating grass, bugs, and proper feed, allowed to roam mostly free, and slaughtered and cooked fresh tasted excellent.
"The armory was even better. Above the door was a sign: You dream, we build." -Mark Owen, No Easy Day
"My assault weapon won't be 'illegal,' it will be 'undocumented.'" -KL
Oh, hell, I seriously suspect that these folks have no clue about what good cooking is supposed to taste like. I wonder what they'd say about my dinner.
There's probably going to be a brisket in there tomorrow, and maybe a couple of chickens.
