Posted by
AvalancheChief at 9/3/08 11:22 a.m.
This is going to be my son in another decade or two and I'm so discouraged. He has had two hospital stays to no avail. On anti-psychotics and anti-depressants that zombify him and only even out his violent behaviors. He's assaulted me and he just got out of jail for elder abuse, grand theft and identity theft on his own grandmother. I'm writing this here as an utter end of my rope appeal.
You see, my son is only 14 and in Washington the "system" takes the approach of poor misunderstood little kid. He's lived with me - no change. He's lived with mom - no change. It just gets worse and worse. Earlier this year he "found" a BB gun (ya right - found) and wandered around his mother's neighborhood shooting stuff. Police called - NOTHING DONE. Assaults his grandmother, arrested, but in juvenile - PROSECUTORS WON'T TAKE THE CASE. Steals credit cards and makes charges online on TWO occassions, both documented - NOTHING DONE. Poor, poor, misunderstood kid.
I work for one of the best employers in the world and I am blessed with some of the best health care you can get in the United States, and in July our coverage for institutional mental health care was terminated. I don't have $10,000 a month for long term instutionalization. If he is emancipated without benefits then he goes into the state foster care black hole (and its wonderful track record) and there is still liability issues.
I believe the mother in this case has seen this coming, and has done everthing she could have done to help her son, and yet all the safety nets that the average citizen thinks are there to help you, I'm telling you, first hand - they aren't there. They are full of holes. The governor is going to review? What a joke - there is no real help for children that spiral out of control. The one spot where I feel the mother of this person is wrong is blaming this on PTSD around the fire, but that is common, parents don't want to admit that their child has a bigger issue, it is a hard place to get to.
I know some of you are reading this and thinking, lock him up and throw away the key - let me give you an education on how broken the system is. My son was arrested by police in part because they felt he was a danger to his grandmother, who he was visiting. On Tuesday morning the victim advocate/social worker called my grandmother DEMANDING she pick him up because he was being released? What sane, rational system puts an out of control child back into the care of the person they assaulted?!?! Who does that?!?
Some may be reading this and thinking you've just been soft, that kid needs a swift kick in the butt. Well you deal with CPS for six months under investigation because you threatened to spank him when he was 12, and have it explained to you that if your child is afraid that is criminal harrassment.
I feel so hopeless, no options, no choices, and a system utterly against me as a parent and my ex-wife to do anything to help our son short of him being patted on the head and told, there there, what a misunderstood kid.
Mark my words - this will be my son in 10 to 20 years - and it won't be due to a lack of trying from mom and dad. He needs help, NO ONE cares.
For this man in this story, six are dead, dozens of lives, literally dozens shattered, two injured, millions will be spent on prosecution and investigation and incarceration, and he still won't get the help he needs because it doesn't matter now - its too late. The system is broken, someone has to say, "enough."