Defending against rape

[cageym]

My Sister sent this e-mail out:
I know you have probably heard or read these all before, but it doesn't hurt to refresh one's memory. After reading it, be sure to send it on.

Through a Rapist's Eyes (No Joke)
When this was sent to me, I was told to forward it to my lady friends, but I forwarded it to most everyone in my address book. My men friends have female friends and this Information is too important to miss someone.

Please pass it along and share it with your children.

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.

3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse, or doing other activities while walking because they are off-guard and can be easily overpowered.

4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5: 00 a.m.and 8:30a..m.

5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots. The number two: office parking lots/garages. Number three: public restrooms.

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years..

8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

Keys are NOT a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like 'what time is it?', or make general small talk: ' I can't believe it is so cold out here ,' 'We're in for a bad winter.' Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.

11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP! or STAY BACK! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes), yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

13) If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the Arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD . One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it - it hurts.

14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful . You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble and he's out of there.

15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

16) Of course the things we always hear still apply Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!!

You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans : If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM . Toss it away from you....chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5 A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot or parking garage:

A.) Be aware: look around you; look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.

B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.
IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

Some good advice there, I sent her back a few little bits myself:

Get your concealed carry permit and keep your .38 with you. A pistol is the thing that can make a 110 lb woman equal to a 240 lb rapist.

Go for the groin, the eyes (don't be afraid to dig a finger into one if you can). Not much hurts more than a broken nose, it makes your eyes water and everything. Stomping really hard on the instep of the foot can break it, might give you a chance. NEVER be afraid to fight back.

Any other advice we can pass on is of course a good thing.

[ButchS1066]

Stomping really hard on the instep of the foot can break it, might give you a chance.

The shin scrape is another effective option, especially when wearing hard sole shoes.

[Joe ex PNG]

One thing I've heard:
Never, ever go away with a bad guy. Whether it is a robber herding customers into the back of a resturant, a carjacker taking your car, or a potential rapist in a van, don't go with them. Chances are, you won't be coming back. Run, fight, whatever it takes.

Be aware of what's around you. Keep your head up, look around, make eye contact with the people around you (but in a friendly way- smile and say "good day"), keep your hands free if possible, ect. Anticipate trouble and plan escape routes. I spent 5 years in a 3rd world country with a bad law and order problem and avoided a lot of trouble this way.

[Termite]

One thing I've heard:
Never, ever go away with a bad guy. Whether it is a robber herding customers into the back of a resturant, a carjacker taking your car, or a potential rapist in a van, don't go with them. Chances are, you won't be coming back. Run, fight, whatever it takes.

1000% correct. Remote rural areas are generally where serial killers dispose of their victims.

Something else to remember: a running target is far harder to hit, and there is an excellent chance that the victim will survive a handgun wound, especially in urban areas where EMT is only minutes away. And mindset is everything if one does get shot: Link 1 Link 2

Something else: if women would put their cell phones in a pocket or clip it to their waist, they won't loose it when their purse gets stolen, or if they throw their purse to an assailant while hauling ass the other direction.

[Aglifter]

There was an excellent article in the Charleston paper about a woman surviving a rape attack. The first thing the rapist did was grab her purse -- I used that article to convince my mother to stop carrying her pistol in her purse.

Besides being the "proper" footwear for a woman, IMO, heels will allow a woman to break the bones in a man's foot.

[workinwifdakids]

A secondary crime scene is always worse than a primary crime scene.

Never, ever go.

[Erik]

14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN.

I usually advice against this to those that have asked me. The reason is that it's not that easy a target to hit, and if you dont hit perfectly it wont do that much good. And most guys protect against it instinctively, just like people blink when something is coming towards their eyes. Sure, if you get a great initial hit, and the secondary target is wide open, go for it, but generally it's just not that easy to get a good hit there. And you have to be really close to even try.

I personally think it's a much better move to stomp at the knee with all your weight behind. Take out a knee and he's done, and I've seen guys back off real fast after that move, even if you dont hit it.

[Weetabix]

Since we're talking about an uncomfortable topic, and it's for the good of our wimmenfolk...

14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN.

I usually advice against this to those that have asked me. The reason is that it's not that easy a target to hit, and if you dont hit perfectly it wont do that much good.

What if, instead of going for a hit, she drove in looking for a "grab, twist, and pull off?" A single hit might not do much, but a concentrated attack on that area could turn the tables enough for her to break away and make a run.

And you have to be really close to even try.

Clearly, she'd only do this if she were already closed in enough not to break away.

I personally think it's a much better move to stomp at the knee with all your weight behind. Take out a knee and he's done, and I've seen guys back off real fast after that move, even if you dont hit it.

True, probably. But how easy is a knee to hit? I'd say develop the whole counterattack tool kit rather than discouraging any one in particular. Keep them all handy and use the one that fits the circumstances best.

[mekender]

all this talk of striking and punching...

it is far easier and more effective to grab and twist...

you grab someone's pinky finger and twist hard, they will get the point... and im not talking about just twist till it hurts... twist till the damn thing breaks off... works just as well on any other finger, the hand, the foot, the lower arm, the nose, lip, ear and groin.

[Erik]

I personally think it's a much better move to stomp at the knee with all your weight behind. Take out a knee and he's done, and I've seen guys back off real fast after that move, even if you dont hit it.

True, probably. But how easy is a knee to hit? I'd say develop the whole counterattack tool kit rather than discouraging any one in particular. Keep them all handy and use the one that fits the circumstances best.

It's amazingly easy to hit the knee actually. I've seen people make it on their first try after told what to do. One girl almost wrecked the leg of a friend of mine who thought she couldn't do it and hazled her to try it. When he stepped forward she kicked down, and he just barely got the leg away in time, even though he knew what was coming. He kept his distance after that. And I got more careful in who I taught it to.

Since what I meant is not a karatestyle kick/sweep, but more a hard stomp straight forward down with your body weight behind, it doesn't have to be an exact knee hit, just hit the leg somewhere in the knee area. Think of stomping through a board leaning against a wall. With the bodyweight on it, the leg is a fairly stationary target. It's also extremely hard to see a stomp like this coming, all you see is the persons upper body move against you, which makes most people guard their face or upper body. It's really deceptively easy, and if you grab the other persons arms or shoulders to steady them in place it's even easier.
[EDIT: This is not a "fight tactic", it would probably be useless in a NHB type competition, or against a opponent that is expecting a fight/brawl and keeps moving around. It relies on coming as a total surprise.]

But I totally agree with what you and mekender said about a full tool kit including grab and twist. I dont believe in a "magic strike" that always work. The knee stomp is just for the occation when you are in a good position for it. Twisting the finger is another good tactic, and there are a variety of others. (I even have a good trick I teach girls they can use in an office or classroom against a guy that gets too close but dont do enough to warrant hitting him.) When people ask me, I try to stress "action" above everything else. Just do something, whatever you can think of, but dont be inactive. Then I show a few different moves as examples of what is possible to do, the simpler the better. But there is really no magic strike. That's what I have against recommending the groin kick as if it's something magical, it's really not. It can even be counterproductive since a lot of guys tend to expect it and guard for it.

I also agree with Chris, both his comment and the whole article.