The Gun Counter

Last weekend my wife went on a women's retreat for her church, she spent Friday night to Sunday morning at a hotel about an hour away. On Saturday after one of the conferences, she and her friend/room-mate were heading back to their room, they got to the elevator and there was already a man standing there waiting for the elevator, the "up" button was already lit, he'd apparently called for the elevator. He got on the car first, didn't press a button, she and her friend got on and she pressed her floor button. The guy still didn't press a button, when their floor came the girls got off and the guy stayed in the elevator. If he'd gotten off she'd have found an excuse for her and her friend to stop and let him go on ahead.

I suggested that maybe he was Orthodox Jewish, so didn't use the elevator buttons but she said that was unlikely because (a) he'd apparently pressed the button to call the elevator and (b) he was black so PROBABLY not Orthodox.

I'm proud of my wife for noticing all these things and for getting into Condition Orange (having identified a specific potential threat and determined a course of action should it become an actual threat). I see women all the time in NYC who are totally oblivious to what's going on around them. After they're robbed/raped they'll tell the police "He came out of nowhere!". No, he didn't, he was there all along, you just didn't notice him. Note that I'm not blaming the victim there, but a cop once told me that a crime requires two things: intent and opportunity. You can deny the opportunity by being vigilant.

My wife DID say that she's much less vigilant when I'm around, because she knows I'm keeping an eye on things.

MarkD wrote:My wife DID say that she's much less vigilant when I'm around, because she knows I'm keeping an eye on things.

my wife says the same thing.

it drives me NUTS. two pair of eyes and all that. Same thing with her carrying. "you have yours.

Precision wrote:

MarkD wrote:My wife DID say that she's much less vigilant when I'm around, because she knows I'm keeping an eye on things.

my wife says the same thing.

it drives me NUTS. two pair of eyes and all that. Same thing with her carrying. "you have yours.

Hmm.

Precision wrote:

MarkD wrote:My wife DID say that she's much less vigilant when I'm around, because she knows I'm keeping an eye on things.

my wife says the same thing.

it drives me NUTS. two pair of eyes and all that. Same thing with her carrying. "you have yours.

Not an issue in the not-so-great-state of NJ.

MarkD wrote:

Precision wrote:

MarkD wrote:My wife DID say that she's much less vigilant when I'm around, because she knows I'm keeping an eye on things.

my wife says the same thing.

it drives me NUTS. two pair of eyes and all that. Same thing with her carrying. "you have yours.

Not an issue in the not-so-great-state of NJ.

The carrying isn't an issue, but one person having their eyes open doesn't do you much good when the other person doesn't take a hint. The person who is not alert, who is essentially being escorted, needs to learn to follow direction.

It was actually a problem with my wife for some years while we were dating. I'm from NYC, she's from one of the more rural portions of the Outer Bumfuck Peninsula. I know and recognize potential problems in an urban setting, she does not (or didn't). So when I tell her, "don't go that way", or "lock your doors and don't stop at the red light", or "we need to get back to the car, but stay on this side of the street", etc, she needs to get with the program. And she's very smart but she is incapable of taking a hint, so everything has to be spelled out to get through to her. And when her first reaction is "why are you yelling at me?" instead of following my directions so we don't wind up on the evening news.... that's a problem.

No, she needs to always be paying attention on her own it's better that way.