Oh, Jarhead, where art thou? A pair of deserters come home

[308Mike]

Linkarooni

Oh, Jarhead, where art thou?
UA for two months, a pair of deserters come home

By Bryan Mitchell - Staff writer
Posted : Monday Oct 27, 2008 12:30:30 EDT

Knocking on doors is what Sgt. Jordan McMahon does. A recruiter in northern Arkansas, McMahon spends plenty of time wandering up to homes, rapping on the screen and making his pitch. Sometimes he’s welcomed with open arms. Other times he’s told to get lost, or worse.

Seldom — check that, only once so far — are people so shaken by the sight of the Marine recruiter that they barrel out the back door, kicking up a trail of dust as they flee. Most of the people McMahon visits are looking to get into the Corps, not get away from it.

But on Aug. 21, as McMahon stood on the front stoop of a mobile home in Mountain Home, Ark., inquiring about two wayward Marines, the pair tore off into the hinterlands, continuing a not-so-great escape that began three weeks earlier, and more than 1,500 miles away, at Camp Pendleton, Calif.

That’s where Pfc. Robert Hudson Jr. and Lance Cpl. Justin Walker, described by police as “pretty sad examples of Marines,” were assigned to 3rd Battalion, 1st Marines. Only they never showed.

Instead, they were off on an unauthorized absence, burning through their cash while driving to Arkansas in an effort to get as far away from the Corps as possible. It would not be the duo’s final lapse in judgment.

Despite a comedy of errors — among them, running to a sister’s house, the evil genius equivalent of hiding under the bed — the two might have realized their aspirations to ditch their military commitments and “live off the land like Rambo,” police said.

More of this story..............

[SoupOrMan]

Yeah, it's a good thing that there's no war on or anything...

[308Mike]

Yeah, but these two are a couple of total shiiteheads - why they EVER wanted to join the Marines is a complete mystery. They stories are pretty funny:

The duo planned to hide out and pray the Corps forgot they ever enlisted. But the service is a stickler when it comes to holding Marines to their contractual obligations, rounding up an average of 80 deserters per month nationwide.

and

Walker’s sister answered and tried to fetch the pair but returned to the front door confused. She said the two claimed to be out of the Corps, but they skedaddled out the back when the khaki-clad recruiter and deputy approached.

“I wouldn’t have chased them down anyway,” McMahon said. “I would have just talked to them.”

McMahon and the deputy waited 30 minutes for the Marines to double back, and then a bit longer after Walker and Hudson called and said they wanted to turn themselves in. But the pair never showed.

Instead, their getaway launched Hudson and Walker on an interstate misadventure in which no mode of transport was too unconventional.

Police reports of their flight from justice read like a bumbling crime caper movie.

Hitchhiking into Missouri. Hopping a freight train like Butch and Sundance. Stealing a canoe for a late summer float down the Spring River before finally embarking on a bush-league crime spree against Arkansas’ most renowned retailer.

and

Then came the bragging. They allegedly recounted the details to other inmates of a two-state string of thefts, in which they stole hunting and camping gear (as well as CDs) from Wal-Mart stores in Arkansas and Missouri.

“They wanted to live off the land like Rambo,” Zeiger said. “But they were pretty sad examples of Marines. They’re about 115 pounds, little dried up things.”

Eric Pickle, administrator of the Sharp County Detention Center, said a fellow inmate snitched and a search party quickly located and gathered their caches of stolen goods.

They sound like tweakers - certainly not any Marines I know.