The Gun Counter

The Democrats Forgot their own Rules

#1 Do not nominate northern liberals unless they have a southern accent.

#2 Do not go near a veteran liberal Northeastern Senator who perpetually runs for President, is hooked on cameras and loves to extemporaneously lecture. He will balance no one.

#3 Stay away from Chicago politics

#4 Keep away completely from the nut-fringe, whether Cindy Sheehan, Michael Moore—or Bill Ayers. They are the leftwing version of the John Birch Society of the 1950s.

#5 Do not allow a nominee on the stump to wear camoflauge, a tank helmet, pick up a gun, or bowl

#6 Don’t ever do tell-all interviews by televangleicals

#7 Don’t get near MSNBC, the Daily Kos, or the Huffington Post—keep to NPR, PBS, NBC and the New York Times/Washington Post.

#8 Don’t start a name calling contest with Sean Hannety and Rush Limbaugh. They will seem presidential, the nominee like an inept talk show host.

#9 Keep away from all celebs, whether Ludacris or Barbra.

#10 If you really must speak of military affairs, use the words “win” and “victory” in each sentence.