The Blonde Mortician

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mekender
Posts: 13189
Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 9:31 pm

The Blonde Mortician

Post by mekender »

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and she says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and
I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So I just switched the heads.'
“I no longer need to run as a Presidential Candidate for the Socialist Party. The Democrat Party has adopted our platform.” - Norman Thomas, a six time candidate for president for the Socialist Party, 1944
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Windy Wilson
Posts: 4875
Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 5:32 am

Re: The Blonde Mortician

Post by Windy Wilson »

Good one! :lol:
Just one sentence too many.

I've heard that morticians go into that line of work because they like working with people.
The use of the word "but" usually indicates that everything preceding it in a sentence is a lie.
E.g.:
"I believe in Freedom of Speech, but". . .
"I support the Second Amendment, but". . .
--Randy
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SoupOrMan
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Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:58 am

Re: The Blonde Mortician

Post by SoupOrMan »

The nice thing about being a mortician?

No one ever comes back to complain.
Remember, folks, you can't spell "douche" without "Che."

“PET PARENTS?” You’re not a “pet parent.” You’re a pet owner. Unless you’ve committed an unnatural act that succeeded in spite of biology. - Glenn Reynolds
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Windy Wilson
Posts: 4875
Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 5:32 am

Re: The Blonde Mortician

Post by Windy Wilson »

SoupOrMan wrote:The nice thing about being a mortician?

No one ever comes back to complain.
What an interesting idea for a short story!
The use of the word "but" usually indicates that everything preceding it in a sentence is a lie.
E.g.:
"I believe in Freedom of Speech, but". . .
"I support the Second Amendment, but". . .
--Randy
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Dub_James
Posts: 3833
Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 12:20 am

Re: The Blonde Mortician

Post by Dub_James »

"I'd like to register a complaint"

:mrgreen:
Oh, the heads that turn
Make my back burn
And those heads that turn
Make my back, make my back burn

-She Sells Sanctuary
The Cult
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Jered
Posts: 7859
Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 1:30 am

Re: The Blonde Mortician

Post by Jered »

Dub_James wrote:"I'd like to register a complaint"

:mrgreen:
This is how we treat people that complain about not being dead!

:mrgreen:
The avalanche has already started. It is too late for the pebbles to vote.
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