Did you ever have some random, Jack Handy type thought? We need a place for those. Bonus points if it's original to you, but your favorite Jack Handy quotes are also great to share.
I've always liked this one:
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
Fire away!
Deep Thoughts
- Weetabix
- Posts: 6107
- Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 11:04 pm
Deep Thoughts
Last edited by Weetabix on Wed Dec 13, 2017 6:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Note to self: start reading sig lines. They're actually quite amusing. :D
- Weetabix
- Posts: 6107
- Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 11:04 pm
Re: Deep Thoughts
How does a blind guy know when he's done wiping in the bathroom?
Note to self: start reading sig lines. They're actually quite amusing. :D
- HTRN
- Posts: 12401
- Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 3:05 am
Re: Deep Thoughts
Why are ther locks on 24 hour store?
HTRN, I would tell you that you are an evil fucker, but you probably get that a lot ~ Netpackrat
Describing what HTRN does as "antics" is like describing the wreck of the Titanic as "a minor boating incident" ~ First Shirt
Describing what HTRN does as "antics" is like describing the wreck of the Titanic as "a minor boating incident" ~ First Shirt
- Vonz90
- Posts: 4731
- Joined: Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:05 pm
Re: Deep Thoughts
If you are not doing anything, how do you know when you are finished?
- evan price
- Posts: 1912
- Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:24 am
Re: Deep Thoughts
It's terrible that entire families can be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs.
Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc
http://ohioccwforums.org/
Ohioans for Concealed Carry:THE source for Ohio CCW information and discussion!
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Ohioans for Concealed Carry:THE source for Ohio CCW information and discussion!
- slowpoke
- Posts: 1231
- Joined: Sat Aug 23, 2008 4:09 pm
Re: Deep Thoughts
“Dark humour is like food
not everybody gets it.”
— Ioseb Jughashvili
not everybody gets it.”
— Ioseb Jughashvili
"Islam delenda est" Aesop
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- Posts: 1576
- Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 4:07 am
Re: Deep Thoughts
Just because something will be awesome fun does not make it a good idea.
I'm not old--It's too early to be this late.
- Jered
- Posts: 7859
- Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 1:30 am
Re: Deep Thoughts
If journalists wanted to earn an honest living, they'd attend law school and take up barristry.
The avalanche has already started. It is too late for the pebbles to vote.
- Odahi
- Posts: 700
- Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 3:21 am
Re: Deep Thoughts
Why is it that so many mattress companies' names start with the letter "S"? Sealy, Simmons, Stearns & Foster, Serta, Spring Air...
Also, why do I keep seeing just one shoe/boot discarded on the shoulder of the road? Where's the other one? Are there really that many pirates out there?
Also, why do I keep seeing just one shoe/boot discarded on the shoulder of the road? Where's the other one? Are there really that many pirates out there?
Birds gotta swim, fish gotta fly, assholes gotta ass, until the day they die.
"Common sense" is an oxymoron.
"Common sense" is an oxymoron.
- First Shirt
- Posts: 4378
- Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 11:32 pm
Re: Deep Thoughts
Why do we park on a driveway, and drive on a parkway?
Why is there an Interstate highway in Hawaii?
Why is a "fat chance" the same thing as a "slim chance" ?
What happened to WD-1 through -39?
Do dyslexic atheists lay awake at night wondering if there's a Dog?
Why is there an Interstate highway in Hawaii?
Why is a "fat chance" the same thing as a "slim chance" ?
What happened to WD-1 through -39?
Do dyslexic atheists lay awake at night wondering if there's a Dog?
But there ain't many troubles that a man caint fix, with seven hundred dollars and a thirty ought six."
Lindy Cooper Wisdom
Lindy Cooper Wisdom