The Gun Counter

Snowstorm In Chicago Delays Hundreds Of Shootings
Jan 7, 2017


CHICAGO—The city of Chicago is steadily recovering from an overnight snowstorm that delayed hundreds of shootings on Saturday night and will likely continue to push numerous homicides across the city drastically behind schedule, public authorities announced.


“As we speak, maintenance crews are working diligently to restore public transportation, de-ice roads, and clear back alleyways so that Chicagoans can quickly resume shootings again,” Department of Streets and Sanitation spokesman Dave Michelson said of the heavy blizzard, which caused numerous homicide cancellations last night at peak murder times.


“Unfortunately, we’re backed up by about 35 deadly shootings at the moment, but we hope to restore regular death tolls as soon as possible. We apologize to anyone forced to postpone shootings or other killings today and assure concerned murderers that they will be able to resume slayings by early Monday afternoon.” At press time, authorities reported that murders were up and running in many parts of the city, with four teenagers already gunned down on Chicago’s South Side.

Haw! If it weren't for the very few true innocents tragically cut down in this ongoing clusterfook I'd be all for airdropping more arms and ammo into the mix. As it is there's no excuse-NONE-for why it has been allowed to get this bad. As it is, turn out the National Guard, declare Martial Law and curfew, shoot to kill violators, stop and frisk, and keep it UP. The city is in a state of insurrection. Sheridan and Sherman are needed.

Old Grafton wrote:Haw! If it weren't for the very few true innocents tragically cut down in this ongoing clusterfook I'd be all for airdropping more arms and ammo into the mix. As it is there's no excuse-NONE-for why it has been allowed to get this bad. As it is, turn out the National Guard, declare Martial Law and curfew, shoot to kill violators, stop and frisk, and keep it UP. The city is in a state of insurrection. Sheridan and Sherman are needed.

There is no excuse, however the reason is that the gangs now work with the aldermen to help them keep their seats, the aldermen then keep the police from going after the gang leadership.

slowpoke wrote:... the gangs now work with the aldermen to help them keep their seats, the aldermen then keep the police from going after the gang leadership.

IOW, same as it ever was in Chi Town. Differences in skin tones and gang attire over the years notwithstanding.

Is it too late to call in an Arclight strike?

randy wrote:

slowpoke wrote:... the gangs now work with the aldermen to help them keep their seats, the aldermen then keep the police from going after the gang leadership.

IOW, same as it ever was in Chi Town. Differences in skin tones and gang attire over the years notwithstanding.

Bingo.