The Gun Counter

"What's that you say Lassie, you did a lease deal on a car knowing you'd get the shaft by leasing, but you went ahead and did it, but now no one will give you hug and you are sad?.....Well look in the mirror and cry putz.
The most important thing about the car is the trunk is large enough for the M-Forgery case, and if I ever get a punt gun or MaDeuce I can fold the passenger side seat down to pass it through.
"Well now I can go to church to get right with God and chase down the easy meat granny's in Walkers.". Salesman , " Somehow I knew you were going to say that."
I wish the sales and finance guy would have waited until I got in the car and drove off the lot before the started the high five ritual with everybody.
"Lordy the instructions are complex." , Sales rep, "Yeah I drove one for a year and it took me 7 days to figure it all out. You boot the car up as much as you start it."
2015 Kia Forte LX Sedan. Assembled in Georgia, designed by some guy they hired from Audi. The plant just had their first employee shoot another in the leg. Cue dueling banjo music.

I can't decide if your post is a gripe, a car commercial or a movie review!

Translation: (I think; I'm not really fluent in post-surgery drugese.) He just bought a lease turn-in 2015 Kia Forte LX Sedan. It has enough room in the trunk for important stuff, but if he hits the lottery and buys a Ma-Deuce, he'll have to fold the seat down to haul it. Now that he's got an old folks' car, he can hit on the little old ladies at church while (allegedly) getting his spiritual house in order.

Further, he thinks the owner's manual is overly complex, and that the sales staff has poor manners. He hasn't driven it enough yet to offer constructive criticism, since he just got it today.

Someone who is more fluent than I in this dialect, and who can correct my mis-steps, feel free to chime in at this point.

(Just kidding, Toad! As Denis says, "Well wear!" I think you'll like it, they seem to be pretty solid little cars. And thanks, cause we sell a LOT of steel to Kia.)

Actually, Kia has stepped up their game recently, and they're making some pretty good cars in the price range. They hold up pretty well until you hit it with a full-sized Dodge, but the grandkids are okay and the settlement was adequate. Don't ask, it's still a sore spot, although elder son was able to build a 30X40 shop with the proceeds.

PawPaw wrote:Actually, Kia has stepped up their game recently, and they're making some pretty good cars in the price range. They hold up pretty well until you hit it with a full-sized Dodge, but the grandkids are okay and the settlement was adequate. Don't ask, it's still a sore spot, although elder son was able to build a 30X40 shop with the proceeds.

When you get over your mad, I'd love to hear that story!!

First Shirt wrote:

PawPaw wrote:Actually, Kia has stepped up their game recently, and they're making some pretty good cars in the price range. They hold up pretty well until you hit it with a full-sized Dodge, but the grandkids are okay and the settlement was adequate. Don't ask, it's still a sore spot, although elder son was able to build a 30X40 shop with the proceeds.

When you get over your mad, I'd love to hear that story!!

It's not that bad. Elder son was returning home with two kids. Two-lane state highway. 55 mph speed limit. He decided to stop and get some gas, and was turning right into the gas station when he got plowed by a bozo in a Dodge who didn't see his turn signal. Elder son was turning, bozo hit the shoulder and impacted the Kia Sorento on the passenger door, pushing the Kia 230 feet before they both came to a rest. Car totalled, Bozo's Dodge totalled. 13-year-old grandson in front passenger seat unconscious. 9-year-old grandson in back seat rattled. Elder son rattled.

Ambulance came, transported everyone to hospital. I met them at the hospital. About an hour into this exercise, idiot State Trooper came into room, issued Elder Son a ticket for improper turn. I got pissed and told idiot Trooper "We'll see about that." He shrugged his shoulders and left.

Next morning, I call another friend, recently retired state trooper, and highly trained Accident Reconstruction Expert. He's accepted as an expert witness in both state and Federal courts. We go look at accident scene. In about five minutes he tells me what happened and we start taking pictures, taking measurements and drawing sketches so that he can make a reconstruction diagram. He tell me that idiot trooper is a fucking idiot and shouldn't be trusted with anything more complicated that writing speeding tickets. Expert retired trooper estimated the speed of Dodge driver at 88 mph at point of impact, based on vehicle weights, drag co-coefficients and length of travel after impact.

Comes the Court date and Dodge driver shows up. He's salivating at the prospect of a civil suit, as soon as Elder son is found guilty of Improper Turn. We listen to the prosecution, blah, blah, blah, then it's the defense turn and se start taking the story of Idiot Trooper apart, line by line. We introduce testimony from Expert Trooper, along with diagrams, photographs and equations. This is a criminal trial, after all, even if the crime is the misdemeanor of Improper Turn. At the end of the trial, Elder son is found Not Guilty.

Then the Judge turns to the Dodge Driver, who is no longer salivating over a civil suit. Judge tells Dodge Driver "Tell your insurance company to get ready to write a big check. The suit will be heard in this court, and I'm convinced that you were totally at fault."

Judge then turns to Idiot Trooper. "Tell your Captain that you're not allowed to work wrecks in this parish anymore. Better yet, I'll call him in just a minute and tell him that you're not allowed in this parish at all anymore." Judges can do that in Louisiana. Idiot Trooper was no longer allowed in that parish, officially. He could still come camp, or fish, or hunt, but was no longer allowed to enforce the law in that parish.

Several months later, Elder Son settled the civil case, for a nice five-figure number. He split the proceeds with the attorney and was able to buy a pickup truck, and build a nice 30X40 shop on an acre near his house.

I'm still pissed at Idiot Trooper, but he retired shortly thereafter.

That's pretty funny, right there!!!

Reminds me of a case hereabouts, where a fella was arrested for DUI. While on horseback. And it took the county LEOs 3 hours to catch him. (And if he'd been sober enough to remember the clothesline in that backyard, they probably wouldn't have caught him.)

Got to court, and the judge looked the documentation over very thoroughly, peered over his cheaters, and said "It appears to me that the only brains evident in this entire enterprise belonged to the horse. Do not, under any circumstances, ever bring a case like this before me again, or I swear, I'll have you all arrested!"

Well it was a new 2015 Kia Forte LX and Kia was offering heavy cash incentives on the car. I didn't have enough money for an outright purchase of the car but the cash incentives could be applied as a down for a lease. Kia includes GAP insurance as part of the lease but I also purchased extra to cover "excess wear and damage" and a full maintenance plan package. Kia periodic maintenance isn't all that bad but some things can get expensive. They also threw in 20 hand car washes over the three year lease. Basically every time I take it in for my "free" oil change I get a car wash.
As for drugs I'm off of the Tylenol #3 but I still have the blood pressure meds and I'm back on blood thinners now that I'm not bleeding like pig.
I'm celebrating also because instead of bright cherry red urine I'm passing a clear standard look. Tomorrow I'm going over to the Verizon store to get help in getting my iPhone blue tooth to sync with the car's blue tooth. Then to Wally World and Sam's to pick up bulk buy's on rice, beans, spaghetti, and high fiber bread.
Next I have to find some kind of part time work that a 70 year old grouch can do. At least I'm old enough that I don't have to pay taxes on anything I earn.
All this just to get a secure four wheeled gun case that will get me out to the 100 yard ranges.
Also given Paw Paw's experience; I'm going to call Progressive to ask if that Snap plug in will record what happens if some bozo in a Dodge T-bones me.

Thank you for correcting my translation. I will try to do better in the future. (What threw me was the lack of Tylenol #3 in the equation.)

State Trooper = Armed Insurance Adjuster.