The Gun Counter

Just because.

What's the difference among the Roman Catholic Church, the Church of England, and the Baptist Church?

The members of the Roman Catholic Church doesn't recognize the monarch as the head of the church.

The members of the Church of England doesn't recognize the authority of the Pope outside the See of Rome.

The members of the Baptist Church don't recognize each other at the liquor store.

What's the difference between a vibrator and a soybean?

No difference, both are meat substitutes.

What's the difference between an elephant and an Aggie girl?

One does tricks for peanuts, and the other one lives in a zoo.

(Apologies to A&M alumni - it's a joke we told at Rice. We couldn't beat them in football.)

Difference between an optimist and a pessimist.

A pessimist thinks all girls are bad, an optimist hopes they are...

What's the difference between a blond sorority girl on a Saturday night, and a bottle of beer?

One is empty from the neck up, full of alcohol, and can be had for next to nothing, and the other is a glass container.

What's the difference between Obama and a cow patty? Nothing

If I can drift a little:

What does Bud Lite have in common with having sex in a canoe?

Both are f*cking close to water.

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.

What the difference between a BMW and a vacuum cleaner?

The location of the dirtbag.

What's the difference between God and a doctor?

God doesn't think he's a doctor.

What's the difference between Jay Carney and a glass wrench?
One's a transparent tool, the other's a wrench.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.