The Gun Counter

A bloke walks into a bar in Scotland and orders a Guinness. All the Scotsmen sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see another Irish visitor. The barman says, "You ain't from around here, are ye?" The bloke says, "No, I'm from Dublin." The bartender asks, "What do you do in Dublin?" The bloke says, "I'm a taxidermist." The bartender says, "A taxidermist? What the hick is a taxidermist? Do you drive a taxi?" "No, a taxidermist doesn't drive a taxi. I mount animals." The bartender grins and yells, "He's okay, boys. He's one of us."

you're bahbahbaaaaaad.

That's properly a Welsh joke..

HTRN wrote:That's properly a Welsh joke..

Have friends from Snowdonia. They confirm.

Now if you want a real Scottish joke...

Did you hear that a Scotsman is responsible for the Grand Canyon?

He lost a ha'penny down a gopher hole.

Then there was the Scotsman who was about to embark on his first sea voyage across the Irish Sea and was concerned about seasickness, so he asked the Irish captain what he recommended.
"Keep a sixpence clamped firmly between your teeth," was the suggestion.

How do you make a Scotsman laugh in his old age?
Tell him a joke in his youth.

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are trying to get in to watch the Olympics without paying by posing as athletes. Not having the budget for proper gear, they grab what they can to serve as props. The Englishman approached the gates carrying a manhole lid on his shoulder and announced himself, "St. John-Smythe, United Kingdom, Discus!", and was let in.
The Scotsman showed up with a telephone pole. "MacTavish, Scotland, Pole Vault!", and he was in.
The Irishman turned up with a coil of barbed wire. "Murphy, Irish Republic, Fencing!"