THE RECESSION IS OVER-- THANKS TO BHO!!!

[Whirlibird]

Reuters:

The American recession of 2008 has been negated by a flurry of purchases and credit applications made today.

There appears to be a pattern to the purchases and according to one retail outlet, "they've never seen this kind of interest or sheer volume of purchases."
"We're having to backorder almost every purchase made after noon today, we can't get ahold of the ammunition or magazines as fast as people are buying them".

Background instant checks are flooded with calls from retailers and other firearm dealers who state that they've never seen waiting lines this long.

(It could happen)

[FelixEstrella]

And in other news, the DJI lost 500 points today. The markets have spoken on what the BO administration will mean to the economy.

[Jered]

I need to get paid so I can buy more ammo.

[Vonz90]

I have two questions.

1. When is he going to start paying my morgage?

2. If we end up doing the reparations thing, can I just cut a check to my wife and call it a day?

[SoupOrMan]

To answer 1, the official answer is you'll never have to worry about it.

To answer number 2, there will be a handy Authenticity Scale chart that will determine the amount of payment to your wife. Depending on various factors, she may or may not qualify for as much as another claimant. Remember, though, you must claim the exact amount on your Form 2 otherwise you'll be sent off for re-education due to "hoarding America's precious supply of Hopenchangium."