This is why we must fight the females who insist that we leave the seat down.
Females insist upon a toilet seat in the down position because of a genetic coding for a technique I refer to as the Flying Backward Butt Leap
(c). In essence, a female's minuscule bladder leads to gravity having a lesser hold on her body, allowing the female to propel herself both up and back simultaneously in an arc onto the toilet. If the toilet seat and lid are both in the down position, the vacuum-like suction created by the upward draft of the female launching into the air are enough to force the toilet lid up. However, if the toilet seat and lid are both in the up position, a woman's fall from that height will approach terminal velocity and cause a near-drowning.
And may I say, from a moral point of view, I think there can be no justification for shoving snack cakes up your action.
--Weetabix
