How the fight started

[mekender]

stolen from a local forum

***************************************************************

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace


expensive.....so, I took her to a gas station..... and that's how the

fight started....

***************************************************************


I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for
$14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her
the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.......
And that's how the fight started.

*********************************************************************



After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had
left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I
would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton
your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She
said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she
processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants.
You might have gotten disability, too'...... And that's how the fight
started.....

*********************************************************************



My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and
I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at
a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed,
'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after
we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober
since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'...... And that's how the fight started.....

*******************************************************************

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes
you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah,
well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my
car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked
down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'.......

And that's how the fight started.....


*********************************************************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He
said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for
herself.'...... And that's how the fight started.....

[drice]

True story,

After watching that Demi Moore movie where Robert Redford pays $1M for 1 night alone with her...

On the way home I said to my EX-WIFE: "You know honey, I may not be able to get $1M for 1 night, but I'll bet I could get $50 for you 20,000 times".

And that's how the fight started.

[cu74]

........On the way home...........$50 for you 20,000 times".

And that's how the fight started.

That's how long it took you to do the math ?

[drice]

........On the way home...........$50 for you 20,000 times".

And that's how the fight started.

That's how long it took you to do the math ?

Uhh...no...that just happened to be when my "dumbass" gene took over.

[Cybrludite]

I went online and said that 9x19mm ball ammo and 5.56x45mm are effective military cartridges, and are suitable for civilian self defense. And that's when the fight started...

[cu74]

...that just happened to be when my "dumbass" gene took over.

Ah, yes. I'm quite familiar with that situation. And since the results have invariably been predictable, I qualify as a Slow Learner....

[HTRN]

I went to an Obama rally, and got to ask a question..

So I asked - Is Barrack a puppet of the Chicago Machine, or does he honestly believe the crap he spouts?

And that's how the fight started.
=============================================================

I got caught screwing my girlfriends identical twin sister.

My only response was "But at least she looks like you!"

And that's how the fight started.
=============================================================

I went to a NOW meeting, and asked 'em if they're husbands let them out to have their little meetings.

And that's how the fight started.
=============================================================

I was on GLOCKTALK, and stated that Gastons toys were all Toxic Tupperware, and any real man wouldn't be caught dead with anything but a 1911..

And that's how the fight started.
=============================================================

At a import tuner event, I asked what kind of rice does it run on, Carolina, or Uncle Bens?

And that's how the fight started.
=============================================================


HTRN