The Gun Counter

My one serious spectator sport outside of politics is baseball. If a baseball game is on, I've been known to leave the range early so I can catch the game on the radio, and I try to get to at least one pro game a year and as many minor-league games as the summer allows. Football has its place but that place is on television or at my college's stadium prior to October. After October it's all TV games for football.

This leads to my quandary. There are two plagues coming out of Chicago this year: Barack Obama's presidential run and the Chicago Cubs' nigh-apocalyptic run towards the World Series. As a St. Louis Cardinals fan who considers the minimum standards of success to be 1) Central Division champions and 2) doing much better than the Cubs by a factor of at least 10 games, I am sorely disappointed in Tony LaRussa's squad this year. The entirety of the quandary is this: which is a worse fate for the planet on a metaphysical level, a Cubs World Series victory or a Barack Obama Presidency? Physically speaking, there would be no contest in how bad an Obama administration would be when compared to the effects of the Cubs getting the victory they haven't had in 100 years. Metaphysically speaking, I'm not sure which would destroy the soul of our nation more: Hope & Change vs. Northsider Fans With Self-Esteem.

If these two events were linked to each other where a victory by one would cause the other to lose I'd probably have to go with letting the Cubs win in order to ensure that Obama would lose. The Cubs have already shown a lack of responsibility in maintaining a WMD arsenal of Old Style and cold brats & kraut. Can we let Obama near the keys to the nukes? Can we let the Cubs near the World Series Trophy? Which one will most likely cause dogs and cats to live together and mass hysteria to reign? The answers to those are "Hell No," "Okay, but we're going to watch them in case they pull some kind of crap like Michael Jackson did with his alleged baby," and "It's too soon to tell."

This fall will determine the fate of the free world as well as the fate of Baseball's Most Celebrated Underachievers. One can only hope the world can withstand either outcome.

(And to any Cubs Fans Out There: You guys lucked out this season.)

Nah, Satan won't destroy Wrigley Field.

Who do you think bought it from the Tribune Corporation?

CByrneIV wrote:Well, I expect that prior to any possible Cubs appearance in a world series, Satans anus would open up and pull wrigley field back down into hell.... so no worries there

What's TRULY frightening to me, is that Tampa Bay is actually 1 game ahead of the Red Sox...

TAMPA FUCKING BAY?

Is Dread Cthulu rising or some shit?

As much as I don't like TB, they played some pretty good ball this year(At one point 5 games ahead of Boston). They also dropped the "Devil" from their team name this year and now they are giving the Red Sox a run for their money. Coincedence? Maybe, maybe not.

I've been a Red Sox fan for as long as I can remember. My first MLB game I went to was in 1991(I think) at Fenway Park where they played the Twins. Sadly, they lost big time. I guess I'm a fan because that's who my dad supports. One day I want to go back there and sit in the Monster Seats with my dad.

Now as far as World Series champions for this year, if I was a betting man I'd put my money on the Angels. I don't follow the NL as much as I do the AL, but seems to me that the Cubs have a real good chance at making it to the World Series this year.

Still gonna root for Boston all the way, and they are known for pulling a victory out of nowhere. Hell, they might even take on the Cubs, who knows?

A Cubs - Red Sox Series?

Ten years ago, you'd be put into a mental health facility for suggesting such things. Rumor has it that suggestion is what put H.P. Lovecraft's father into a sanitarium. Maybe it really is a plot by Cthulhu!

mmmm magical brownies

Well, Obama does look like Nyarlathotep:

"...The general tension was horrible. To a season of political and social upheaval was added a strange and brooding apprehension of hideous physical danger; a danger widespread and all-embracing, such a danger as may be imagined only in the most terrible phantasms of the night..."

"And it was then that Nyarlathotep came out of Egypt. Who he was, none could tell, but he was of the old native blood and looked like a Pharaoh. The fellahin knelt when they saw him, yet could not say why. He said he had risen up out of the blackness of twenty-seven centuries, and that he had heard messages from places not on this planet. Into the lands of civilisation came Nyarlathotep, swarthy, slender, and sinister, always buying strange instruments of glass and metal and combining them into instruments yet stranger. He spoke much of the sciences – of electricity and psychology — and gave exhibitions of power which sent his spectators away speechless, yet which swelled his fame to exceeding magnitude. Men advised one another to see Nyarlathotep..." by H.P. Lovecraft

Eh. I voted for the Collider, because I'm a geek like that. But I say, fully and truly, that if the world can survive a Red Sox series victory, it can survive a Cubbies win. The thought of Obama's inauguration (Lord save us all) brings to mind the hell rising scene from Little Nicky.

Magical brownies for everyone!

The liberals fear the Large Hadron Collider because it will suck us into the dimension where McCain shall win by a landslide, Sarah Palin will personally kill Osama bin Laden with her .30-06, and there will be brownies for everyone.

Well the Cubs just lost 0-3, barely put up a fight. Hopefully they won't have a direct effect on the other though...

Manny being Manny indeed.