The stupid is strong with these ones...

[Termite]

it's more likely they would steal the USS Iowa, restore it to working order, and drunkenly sail the high seas posing a risk to women of loose morals, ships carrying alcohol, and countries called France.

#1. Women of loose morals are not at any risk of harm from sailors: they are called volunteers.
#2. The USA should really, Really, REALLY fully restore the Iowa, the New Jersey, and the Missouri to full battle-ready status, complete with full modern propulsion systems and all the accoutrements; except for the 16 inchers. Those we MUST have. They are the essence of the battleship.

Why should we spend 20-30 billion doing this? BECAUSE WE CAN. And because NOTHING says "I don't Like you" quite like a Iowa class battleship setting up station 20 miles off your coast.

[esa5444]

Oh, since it's my idea, I hereby ordain the following rule. Anyone caught trying to make the 16" guns more tactical will be forced to walk the plank. You can paint the AAA guns black and mount all the rails, lights, and red-dots on them you want, but the big guns stay original.

I think any gun measured in naval caliber vs. small arms caliber (i.e. the Iowa class main guns are 16" 50 caliber, meaning 800" long) should officially be regarded as "strategic" and not "tactical".

I disagree. The Iowa main guns are the ideal weapon to use for that most tactical of applications, house clearing. Kicking in a door while wearing body armor and all the other gear is a great way to end up with sore muscles and sprained joints, not to mention arthritis later in life. Detonating cord, I have learned, stinks after you set it off and the soot is hard to wash out of your clothes. I ruined my favorite white shirt-sleeve; there is a big black streak across it that is impervious to all known detergents and bleaches. Launching a 2000 lbs projectile from 25 miles away that clears the building, and every building within a 200 yard radius, that's the way to do it. No sore muscles, no ruined shirts, minimal chance of being shot, and almost near certainty that the commie terrorists hiding in the building are no longer a cause for concern.

[esa5444]

Also, I hereby nominate this thread for Honorable Mention for Threadjack of the Year. We have gone from fundamentalist religious people doing something stupid to discussing the merits of using 16" naval guns for house clearing. Up next, the application of small, 1-2 megaton nuclear weapons for dispersing hurricanes before they are able to make landfall.

[Greg]

What is it with all the dissatisfied idiots and their third-world obsessions? What in the hell makes you think the third world is *better*? That it's *free*?

A plethora of books and movies by and about rich assholes who "find themselves" using the third world as their playground.

Most recently it's a bunch of Marxist fabulism, yes.

[Greg]

Very special people. Not actually members of any church, yet they know all churches are gov't controlled. I won't comment on the rest.

Sounds like they would fit in real well with all the nuts over at the squirrel cage.

I just had a look back at that thread... Glad I never tried to look in the nut locker for myself, that wouldn't have ended well. These boat people are bad enough, people like that really get under my skin.

[Aesop]

Also, I hereby nominate this thread for Honorable Mention for Threadjack of the Year. We have gone from fundamentalist religious people doing something stupid to discussing the merits of using 16" naval guns for house clearing. Up next, the application of small, 1-2 megaton nuclear weapons for dispersing hurricanes before they are able to make landfall.

With their level of documented f*cktardery, attempting to gild the lily further would crush it under its own weight.

At that point, the only rational course is to set off in search of additional fun times, and stop throwing rocks at the retards.

With your new topic in mind, I submit that hurricanes themselves are proof that Goddess Gaia is angry with us, and propose that we hurl people like Al Gore, Michael Moore, et al bodily into the maw of the storm to propitiate the manifest sins of mankind against our home planet.
The only problem I can see is pulling one of the Super Guppy jets out of mothballs to accomodate Messr. Moore's last recorded girth.

In other news, we once sent John Glenn back into space.
Now NASA is evidently looking for two couples to colonize Mars. I think it's only fair that we send the finest couples we've got on the mission, so I hereby nominate Hopey Dopey and the Mrs., along with Fat Bill and Shrillary. What could possibly go wrong?

[Highspeed]

It's OK you arrogant know it alls second guessing the actions of this family, but if you had done even the tiniest bit of research you would realise that all tropical islands come with abundant fresh water, monkey butlers, cocktails served in coconut shells and tame ostriches to race.
But ONLY if you arrive at them via a shipwreck - it's an immutable law of physics.

[MarkD]

What is it with all the dissatisfied idiots and their third-world obsessions? What in the hell makes you think the third world is *better*? That it's *free*?

A plethora of books and movies by and about rich assholes who "find themselves" using the third world as their playground.

Most recently it's a bunch of Marxist fabulism, yes.

Never understood that. My wife's godson spent a couple years in Costa Rica in a commune, the first six months he had to live in a tent, he subsisted on bugs and pot. Thanks, but I like running water.

Same with the people who fetishize the American Indians. Folks, this is a culture that didn't invent the frikkin' WHEEL, their level of agriculture would have shamed any self-respecting Egytian a thousand years before Christ. There's nothing romantic about being an old man at 40, about having half of your children die before they reach the age of five, or knowing that your wife is not likely to survive the birth of your fourth child. Not to mention that if you cut yourself while skinning a deer you're likely to die of tetanus or some other infection or that you'll just starve to death when your teeth fall out and you can't eat anymore.

While there's a lot to be said for simplifying your life and not being owned by your possessions (as discussed in the thread on Mammon), civilization has overall been a good thing for the human species.

Now, to bring the thread full-circle, how about books and movies about people who find themselves by being encased in a hollowed-out 16 inch shell and being fired from one of the Iowa's main guns?????

[Weetabix]

Now, to bring the thread full-circle, how about books and movies about people who find themselves by being encased in a hollowed-out 16 inch shell and being fired from one of the Iowa's main guns?????

Can they fire me to Kiribati? That boat thing didn't work out so well for me last time.

[dfwmtx]

I think we're being too harsh on this guy. I say he should be captain on the next IRS vacation cruise.