Alt-history writing project
- Captain Wheelgun
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Re: Alt-history writing project
Here’s a mini snippet. The San Jacinto has just been commissioned, and Karl is taking Ambassador Molteno and the new British Naval Attache on a tour...
Removed due to upcoming publication of Book 2. See my post on 09/07/2022 for more info.
Removed due to upcoming publication of Book 2. See my post on 09/07/2022 for more info.
Last edited by Captain Wheelgun on Wed Sep 07, 2022 3:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"What is this, the Congress Avenue Independence Day Parade?" - Capt. Karl von Stahlberg, RTN
Republic of Texas Navy Archives
Republic of Texas Navy Archives
- Captain Wheelgun
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Re: Alt-history writing project
And another snippet. Things may be changing for our hero...
Removed due to upcoming publication of Book 2. See my post on 09/07/2022 for more info.
Removed due to upcoming publication of Book 2. See my post on 09/07/2022 for more info.
Last edited by Captain Wheelgun on Wed Sep 07, 2022 3:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"What is this, the Congress Avenue Independence Day Parade?" - Capt. Karl von Stahlberg, RTN
Republic of Texas Navy Archives
Republic of Texas Navy Archives
- Captain Wheelgun
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Re: Alt-history writing project
Another long-ish snippet. Some reasons not to mess with Texas...
Removed due to upcoming publication of Book 2. See my post on 09/07/2022 for more info.
Removed due to upcoming publication of Book 2. See my post on 09/07/2022 for more info.
Last edited by Captain Wheelgun on Wed Sep 07, 2022 3:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"What is this, the Congress Avenue Independence Day Parade?" - Capt. Karl von Stahlberg, RTN
Republic of Texas Navy Archives
Republic of Texas Navy Archives
- Captain Wheelgun
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Re: Alt-history writing project
Another short snippet. Did I get the chief of staff’s job description about right?
Removed due to upcoming publication of Book 2. See my post on 09/07/2022 for more info.
Removed due to upcoming publication of Book 2. See my post on 09/07/2022 for more info.
Last edited by Captain Wheelgun on Wed Sep 07, 2022 3:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"What is this, the Congress Avenue Independence Day Parade?" - Capt. Karl von Stahlberg, RTN
Republic of Texas Navy Archives
Republic of Texas Navy Archives
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Re: Alt-history writing project
I can't really tell you if you got the COS right, being only a lowly enlisted man, but as far as the story goes it reads pretty good. The only quibble I have is that the conversation is a bit hard to follow trying to put characters to who said what. The references are a bit thin. That may only be a matter of context as this snippet is cut from a larger story.
- Captain Wheelgun
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Re: Alt-history writing project
I’ll take a look at that. I’ve been trying to minimize using ‘X said...’ but maybe I’ve gone too far on that.tfbncc wrote: ↑Sat Jun 04, 2022 7:13 am I can't really tell you if you got the COS right, being only a lowly enlisted man, but as far as the story goes it reads pretty good. The only quibble I have is that the conversation is a bit hard to follow trying to put characters to who said what. The references are a bit thin. That may only be a matter of context as this snippet is cut from a larger story.
"What is this, the Congress Avenue Independence Day Parade?" - Capt. Karl von Stahlberg, RTN
Republic of Texas Navy Archives
Republic of Texas Navy Archives
- Captain Wheelgun
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Re: Alt-history writing project
Another snippet, getting close to some action... (Note, the Travis County class destroyers are the four ex-USN Wikes class destroyers mentioned in TATC. MacDonald and Estrada are the captains of the carriers Eagle and Falcon)
Removed due to upcoming publication of Book 2. See my post on 09/07/2022 for more info.
Removed due to upcoming publication of Book 2. See my post on 09/07/2022 for more info.
Last edited by Captain Wheelgun on Wed Sep 07, 2022 3:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"What is this, the Congress Avenue Independence Day Parade?" - Capt. Karl von Stahlberg, RTN
Republic of Texas Navy Archives
Republic of Texas Navy Archives
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Re: Alt-history writing project
Looking good. I didn't notice any obvious errors.
Ray
Ray
- MiddleAgedKen
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Re: Alt-history writing project
Not an expert (never served), but my instinct suggests that the "never been a chief of staff/never been an admiral" part of the conversation would be held in private, in order to maintain confidence in the chain of command -- unless the Republic of Texas Navy is an extremely informal culture among its officers.
Offered for what it's worth, which is everything you paid for it.
Offered for what it's worth, which is everything you paid for it.
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- Captain Wheelgun
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Re: Alt-history writing project
It actually was in private, the only people there were Karl, Lewis, and the outgoing chief of staff, Captain Franklin.MiddleAgedKen wrote: ↑Sat Jun 11, 2022 2:13 pm Not an expert (never served), but my instinct suggests that the "never been a chief of staff/never been an admiral" part of the conversation would be held in private, in order to maintain confidence in the chain of command -- unless the Republic of Texas Navy is an extremely informal culture among its officers.
Offered for what it's worth, which is everything you paid for it.
"What is this, the Congress Avenue Independence Day Parade?" - Capt. Karl von Stahlberg, RTN
Republic of Texas Navy Archives
Republic of Texas Navy Archives