Alt-history writing project

[Captain Wheelgun]

Thank you for your comments. After re-reading it, it does seem a bit abrupt. I think I will move things around a bit, and put the confrontation after dinner. This will also give certain officers time to sample the Port Admiral’s liquor supply. And I can still have the ladies rescue them at the end.

TFBNCC, good idea having him answer in French. That will surprise several of the people who are listening. I’m glad you like Karl that much. It means that I’m doing something right.

Randy, I guess that was a little over the top. Re-writes coming up.

[Captain Wheelgun]

Snippet deleted due to upcoming book release March 2, 2022.

[tfbncc]

I like this much better. The only thing that seems to stick out is that with the smaller tables, when a lady leaves, all the gentlemen should stand. But I may be wrong about that. I am eagerly awaiting the release of the whole book. It looks to be very entertaining.

Ray

[randy]

when a lady leaves, all the gentlemen should stand

Agreed. Missed that one.

But yes, better.

[randy]

Oh, and you can probably drop the " At least not yet.".

I was thinking of something along the lines of him being snarky to the Kraut, implying that he would not enjoy it if the Texas sailors got involved instead of their diplomats, but I don't think it works the way I thought it would.

[Captain Wheelgun]

Oh, and you can probably drop the " At least not yet.".

when a lady leaves, all the gentlemen should stand

Agreed. Missed that one.

But yes, better.

Thank you, corrections made.

[Captain Wheelgun]

Snippet deleted due to upcoming book release March 2, 2022.

[tfbncc]

I can only see one minor item. The order to "man the sides" should actually be "man the rails". Manning the sides means to assemble sideboys and the bos'n mate of the watch to receive dignitaries at the quarterdeck. Since manning the rails is a formation, I'm not sure if all hands would render a hand salute, or just the captain and senior officers, who would be standing on the bridge wing to render honors to the passing royal yacht. I'd like to hear what others say about that.

Ray

[Captain Wheelgun]

I can only see one minor item. The order to "man the sides" should actually be "man the rails". Manning the sides means to assemble sideboys and the bos'n mate of the watch to receive dignitaries at the quarterdeck. Since manning the rails is a formation, I'm not sure if all hands would render a hand salute, or just the captain and senior officers, who would be standing on the bridge wing to render honors to the passing royal yacht. I'd like to hear what others say about that.

Ray

Corrected, thank you.

[Captain Wheelgun]

Snippet deleted due to upcoming book release March 2, 2022.