Bar Flies and Idiots

[workinwifdakids]

We call it Jack-in-the-Crack, which is ironic given the circumstances of your visit.


Occasionally we call it Jacques-en-le-Baques. I've always had good luck there. Well, there was food poisoning once. It was Halloween night in - I dunno, the late 90s? You'd think that would've taught me a lesson.

Anyway, your stripper story combined with the outrageous price of beer reminded me of another story:

This fairly straight-laced friend of mine was riding solo as his wife was out of town. He went to a local strip club in Wyoming - which, IIRC, was actually a double-wide trailer on a permanent foundation. He went in and ordered a lemonade. Yes, a lemonade. This should tell you something. He hadn't asked permission to be there per se, so he was worried a little that his wife would be upset. Well, he drank the lemonade, didn't really watch a show, and then went to pay with his debit card. The tab came back: $7. Yes, gentlemen, $7 for a LEMONADE.

His wife came home and said, literally, "Jesus Christ! I don't mind you going to a strip club. Have at it. But $7 for lemonade? Are you HIGH?!"


To this day we can't even go out to eat together without one of us asking the waitress how much a glass of lemonade is.

[Evyl Robot]

"Oh, but this is a bottle of $7,000 wine made with grapes from the Garden of Eden, smashed with the feet of virgins who were killed immediately afterwards, and brought to America on the Santa Maria in 1492!"

Crap. Really? Cuz I just mixed that with some 7-up and sugar. Sorry. You want a glass of sangria?

[Aglifter]

If you think sangria involves 7 up...

Sangria is a lovely drink, which unfortunately takes a very long time to make - well, not so very long.

A) You really do need decent red wine - nothing great, but not furniture stripper.
B) You need LOTS of brandy - in mine, probably a 2:1 red wine to brandy.
C) You need lots of fruit - oranges, limes, apples, whatever else you like.
D) Sugar.
E) A couple days to sit
F) Er... as there are entirely too many lawyers in my circle of friends, good vodka/gin/mohawk to increase the proof...

[HTRN]

"Oh, but this is a bottle of $7,000 wine made with grapes from the Garden of Eden, smashed with the feet of virgins who were killed immediately afterwards, and brought to America on the Santa Maria in 1492!"

7 grand? Pfft. Go visit Sherry-Lehmans in Midtown for an eyeopener. They sell Ausone 2005 Magnums for almost 10 grand a bottle, and almost 60K a case. a 2005 Mouton Rothchild magnum is 2100 bucks now(I will say, you can get them significantly cheaper at other online sales places. None of them though, have the breadth and depth of Sherry Lehmans inventory, especially at the high end of the market). The 2009 Mouton? Already at 900+ a bottle, and likely to break the 4 figure ceiling shortly, as it's being hailed as the "the next '82"


HTRN

[Aegis]

"Oh, but this is a bottle of $7,000 wine made with grapes from the Garden of Eden, smashed with the feet of virgins who were killed immediately afterwards, and brought to America on the Santa Maria in 1492!"

7 grand? Pfft. Go visit Sherry-Lehmans in Midtown for an eyeopener. They sell Ausone 2005 Magnums for almost 10 grand a bottle, and almost 60K a case. a 2005 Mouton Rothchild magnum is 2100 bucks now(I will say, you can get them significantly cheaper at other online sales places. None of them though, have the breadth and depth of Sherry Lehmans inventory, especially at the high end of the market). The 2009 Mouton? Already at 900+ a bottle, and likely to break the 4 figure ceiling shortly, as it's being hailed as the "the next '82"


HTRN

And THAT is why I drink beer...

[HTRN]

It gets better - Sherry Lehman now sells "Wine Futures".


HTRN

[Scott Free]

HTRN wrote:
I honestly don't know how to respond to this.

On the one one hand, he picks up a Stripper with a rack large enough to have it's own gravitational field.

On the other hand, he takes her to... Jack in the box.


HTRN


A busty woman who's into inexpensive dining? I can certainly understand the appeal.

A) She wanted to go there. Go figure -- and damned if I was gonna say "no" if that's what she wanted.

She also loved to fish, too -- and had fished wherever she'd played, from Fla. to Alaska. Even got chased up a tree by a black bear in AK when her bush pilot guide took her fishing. Liked guns; didn't love them -- but had used her shotgun to kill a burglar that had made it into her bedroom.

Interesting woman, at any rate.

B) "Comfort food"? Nah, she was a fanatic about her figure (as if you couldn't tell) and JITB was the only place nearby that served a salad.

Really.

C) You're going to whine about a 1993 outbreak of e. coli at Jack in the Box? C'mon, man.

D) The gravimetric distortions weren't bad at all -- unless you actually got between them. I never did but, now that I mention it, it did seem as though a few gents around the stage kinda... "winked out" that night...

[HTRN]

Go read the recent Arfcom thread about the place for some more up to date tales of gastro intestinal distress.


HTRN

[Jered]

Go read the recent Arfcom thread about the place for some more up to date tales of gastro intestinal distress.


HTRN

Any time that I have a burger there it does odd things to my stomach. It's not a pleasant feeling.

[blackeagle603]

That's quiet possibly a food allergy reacting to one of that brand's standard ingredients. We've got a couple individuals in our family with various gluten or dairy intolerances. They consistently respond differently to different fast foods.

My son can eat just about anything at Jack in the Box with no worries but BurgerKing gets him almost everytime.

My wife's gut was not working well at all. I was getting worried about it. We figured out with testing by an Internist with advance nutritional training she was having a major immune response and gut inflammation. Doc put her through some saliva and gut tests that were confirmed by putting on a food elimination/rotation diet that my wife's gluten intolerant -- all of a sudden things like this fast food issue started making sense and mapping to what/where we'd eaten.