That Fucking Elf...

[Aesop]

Which gets me to thinking: what do those things cost?

I'm thinking a garland of elves, all hanging from nooses, strung around the tree would be spectacular. Some black-hooded and hand-bound, a few with their little hands clutching their necks, maybe even come up with a couple of extended purple tongues to glue onto their little elf mouths, along with some strategically bug-eyed paintwork. There's still a few shopping days left...

[Yogimus]

That would be racist.

[HTRN]

Google "Elf on the Shelf."

I am dumber for having done so.

I got the distinct impression that this is like a "push present" - something upper middle class white women dream up in order to drive men insane.

[PawPaw]

Which gets me to thinking: what do those things cost?

I'm thinking a garland of elves, all hanging from nooses, strung around the tree would be spectacular. Some black-hooded and hand-bound, a few with their little hands clutching their necks, maybe even come up with a couple of extended purple tongues to glue onto their little elf mouths, along with some strategically bug-eyed paintwork. There's still a few shopping days left...

In the Gret Stet of Louisiana, that would be a hate crime. Even tying a proper noose will get you arrested, if you do it publicly.

Back in the day, it was considered basic rope craft. I was once tested on basic, usable knots. The square knot, the sheet bend, the clove hitch, two half hitches, the taught line hitch, the bowline, the surgeon's knot, timber hitch, and several others to include (drum roll, please) the hangman's noose. On the theory, I guess, that every boy should be able to properly execute some sonofabitch that desperately deserved it.

Nowadays, the hangman's noose has fallen completely from PC favor, to the point that if a young First Class Scout ties a hangman's noose, he's immediately arrested on suspicion of racism. In many ways, it's a sad world we live in.

[Aesop]

If anyone thinks to make an arrest on me for tying a knot, his life insurance better be paid up, and he better bring all the friends within sound of his radio beforehand, or it's going to be a short career.

That crosses my line on where the First Amendment and the Second Amendment cross streams.

[dfwmtx]

I agree with the German shepherd.

Is .22LR ok for dealing with the elf on the shelf, or do I need to break out the .410?

[Denis]

Jack Ketch's knot. Two of them tied back to back make a very handy way to carry cordage in a neat parcel. Traditionally the knot is tied with an uneven number of turns.

[skb12172]

Which gets me to thinking: what do those things cost?

I'm thinking a garland of elves, all hanging from nooses, strung around the tree would be spectacular. Some black-hooded and hand-bound, a few with their little hands clutching their necks, maybe even come up with a couple of extended purple tongues to glue onto their little elf mouths, along with some strategically bug-eyed paintwork. There's still a few shopping days left...

They run about $30. Per Elf. Can you believe it???

[skb12172]

Which gets me to thinking: what do those things cost?

I'm thinking a garland of elves, all hanging from nooses, strung around the tree would be spectacular. Some black-hooded and hand-bound, a few with their little hands clutching their necks, maybe even come up with a couple of extended purple tongues to glue onto their little elf mouths, along with some strategically bug-eyed paintwork. There's still a few shopping days left...

In the Gret Stet of Louisiana, that would be a hate crime. Even tying a proper noose will get you arrested, if you do it publicly.

Back in the day, it was considered basic rope craft. I was once tested on basic, usable knots. The square knot, the sheet bend, the clove hitch, two half hitches, the taught line hitch, the bowline, the surgeon's knot, timber hitch, and several others to include (drum roll, please) the hangman's noose. On the theory, I guess, that every boy should be able to properly execute some sonofabitch that desperately deserved it.

Nowadays, the hangman's noose has fallen completely from PC favor, to the point that if a young First Class Scout ties a hangman's noose, he's immediately arrested on suspicion of racism. In many ways, it's a sad world we live in.

I found the law online. It's pretty broadly written, I assume to give the "victim" leeway in "well, he didn't say anything threatening, but I FELT threatened," in order to up the chances of a conviction. The penalty is pretty weak, though. Petty, misdemeanor stuff. However, given that the only "crime" committed is tying a fucking knot...

[Aesop]

They run about $30. Per Elf. Can you believe it???

I have found my stay-at-home business enterprise.