Bar Flies and Idiots

[Aegis]

I actually don't have a story to tell.

I went to a local watering hole just to get out of my temporary quarters and wrote a large rant about flies, idjits and the random stupidity that was flowing that night..

I decided to delete it once I realized I was ranting about really stupid drunks who went to that specific bar to get stupid drunk so what was the point.

Don't get me wrong, a good bar is a good thing. This bar however was full a idiots, the Long Island's sucked and the domestic drafts were $3.75. Maybe I was just pissed about the drinks.

$3.75 for a draft beer? You went to a cheap place!

OK, 'nother story. One night on my way home I had time to kill, so I stopped in a bar near the train station (I usually go a couple blocks to a different place, but didn't have too much time, so I just went across the street). I asked the bartender what was on happy hour, he said everything was half-price. I saw a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale tap, so I ordered a pint. He bring my beer and says "that'll be $4.00." I replied "I thought you said everything was half-price?" and he said "That IS half-price. This is Hoboken you know."

Now, my usual place, two blocks away, sells a pint of Guiness for $5.00 regular, $2.50 happy hour. And Hoboken may not be the armpit of NJ, but you can smell it from there.

Happy Hour micros here are usually 3.50-5 bucks. Add a dollar for non-happy hour. I do so love beer...

[HTRN]

I saw a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale tap, so I ordered a pint. He bring my beer and says "that'll be $4.00." I replied "I thought you said everything was half-price?" and he said "That IS half-price. This is Hoboken you know."

That's because Hoboken is filled with Hipster douchbags - the same idiots who drink PBR because it's the current fad.


HTRN

[Greg]

I saw a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale tap, so I ordered a pint. He bring my beer and says "that'll be $4.00." I replied "I thought you said everything was half-price?" and he said "That IS half-price. This is Hoboken you know."

That's because Hoboken is filled with Hipster douchbags - the same idiots who drink PBR because it's the current fad.

HTRN

Jersey City, too. Be warned.

[workinwifdakids]

I saw a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale tap, so I ordered a pint. He bring my beer and says "that'll be $4.00." I replied "I thought you said everything was half-price?" and he said "That IS half-price. This is Hoboken you know."

That's because Hoboken is filled with Hipster douchbags - the same idiots who drink PBR because it's the current fad.


HTRN

Good point. There are a lot of people I've met, HTRN, who drink things and eat things that I'd bet they don't like one bit, just because it's cool, or because they're SUPPOSED TO like it. This is truer in the realm of alcoholic beverages, I think. I've had $15 bottles of gin that I rave over, and $100 bottles of tequila that taste like fuel. I think there are a ton of people drinking certain beers, wines, or spirits who do so just because it's the fad. "Oh, but this is a bottle of $7,000 wine made with grapes from the Garden of Eden, smashed with the feet of virgins who were killed immediately afterwards, and brought to America on the Santa Maria in 1492!" I don't care - if it doesn't taste good TO ME, then I don't care why it's allegedly the best thing ever.

Then again, I'm not a Hipster douchbag.

[Aglifter]

Jersey City has hipsters??? Last time I was there it had needles and broken crack vials in the gutters... (Its been awhile...)

[HTRN]

It's been partly gentrified, since Hoboken "filled up". So you have ghettos next to "hot neighborhoods".


HTRN

[JKosprey]

I saw a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale tap, so I ordered a pint. He bring my beer and says "that'll be $4.00." I replied "I thought you said everything was half-price?" and he said "That IS half-price. This is Hoboken you know."

That's because Hoboken is filled with Hipster douchbags - the same idiots who drink PBR because it's the current fad.


HTRN

I have a buddy that swears PBR is one of the best cheap beers going. because "They don't just give that blue ribbon away!" It all started after he watched Gran Turino...

[Greg]

Jersey City has hipsters??? Last time I was there it had needles and broken crack vials in the gutters... (Its been awhile...)

You *can* have both at the same time, you know. It's perfectly normal to see that during gentrification, and its douchbag-ier cousin, hipsterification. Park Slope was just like that in the 80's.

And apparently that 'hipsters wading through crack vials' 'Trustafarians in the Hood' sort of thing is a perfectly normal steady state condition in much of Chicago. Freaked me out when I was there.

[HTRN]

I have a buddy that swears PBR is one of the best cheap beers going. because "They don't just give that blue ribbon away!" It all started after he watched Gran Turino...

It's an alcohol delivery system, not something to necessarily be enjoyed. But these jackasses are drinking it for the cachet of their fellow hipsters, when they can easily afford something better.


HTRN

[Scott Free]

$3.75 for beer? Big deal. Try $3.75 for Coke...

Like ER, this began in a bar -- or club, actually...

Back in the mid-'90s, I was visiting a gentlemen's club in Phoenix that had what they used to call a "feature dancer" dancing at their club. She was a rather "unusual" woman named Crystal:

Skipping the entire story of "why", suffice it to say that after one of her shows, we went to grab a bite at a local Jack In The Box. (Looks like that and she's a cheap date! Wow!) To finish describing the stage, she wasn't dressed as she was in the photo but rather in a running suit -- not that it hid much. (When someone is as busty as she was, they cannot hide much.)

Anyway, we walked into the Jack and were the only ones there. Apparently, we'd just hit it at shift change as there was a kid about 16 or 17 behind the counter who was very intently working on the cash register. I could hear someone way in the back of the kitchen and just caught a glimpse of another (third) guy about 20 years old, who'd apparently just pulled out a cash drawer and was headed to turn it into the office. Only upon noticing Crystal, who'd just walked through the door, he decided to stop near the fry trough to catch a longer glimpse. He began to pretend to count his drawer as he snickered to the gent in the back while drinking in every inch of Crystal.

She told me to order first, so I did without incident then I backed off to watch what was going to happen next. The kid behind the counter apparently hadn't noticed Crystal yet as he didn't seem to be acting any differently. He went back to dicking around with the register while Crystal read the entire menu before ordering. Oddly, even when she stepped up to order, he never really took his eyes off the register -- unlike his compadre over by the fry area, who was drooling heavily.

Unfortunately for the kid, he screwed up Crystal's order. Again, he seemed to be having trouble with the register. Well, for whatever reason, he just couldn't seem to get the order straight and that, eventually, set Crystal off. Noticing that the boy wouldn't look up, she set about to make sure that he would.

Crystal's kinda short and the counter was just about, well, you-know-what level. Without any warning and with one quick, smooth motion, Crystal flopped those humongous puppies of hers up on the counter and then bored holes through the kid when he began staring at them.

She'd produced the desired effect: the kid was definitely paying attention to her -- to them -- now, not to mention becoming completely flustered in the process of trying to fix the order and babbling incessantly trying to please her. Talk about the power to cloud men's minds -- The Shadow had nuttin' on this woman...

Well, that's actually only half of what went on. Remember the cat over by the fry cooker? When Crystal "displayed" the most famous of her assets on the counter, this guy reacted as you'd expect: mouth on the floor, eyes bugging out, etc. Only, in the process, he banged the cash drawer that he'd been pretending to count -- and knocked what were apparently a few tens and twenties into the fryer.

Heh. It was incredibly hilarious watching him try to fish them out.