Darrell wrote:I have never in my life hit a woman. Well, if big sisters don't count.
Pushed mine down the stairs when we were kids. And tied her hair up in the fretboard of a guitar. Called her El-Kabong for weeks after.
DD has it right; lists of studies have shown the female victim/male aggressor dichotomy is false.
EVERY SINGLE encounter I've ever heard of or witnessed where these kinds of disputes occur, the woman is either the aggressor, or, when she sees someone confronting her aggressor boyfriend/husband/whatever, she becomes an aggressor against the interloper (usually right alongside the boyfriend/husband/whatever)
Stay away from man vs. woman fights. Knowing how most of them start and play out, believe me, you'll be better off.
Oh, the heads that turn
Make my back burn
And those heads that turn
Make my back, make my back burn
Thankfully the fight ended without any serious effects, but what would you have done? I'm starting to think I should keep my shotgun in amber condition in my safe, as all firearms must be in a safe or have a lock on them in this state(spit). Keeping them with ammunition in them is illegal of course, as is leaving them out without a lock on them.
ok i havent read the rest of the thread past your post, i will do so and then comment again in a bit... but my take on this is as follows...
those laws are a direct contradiction to the findings and rulings of DC Vs. Heller... and since there has now been an incorporation case in a circuit court (the nordyke case in CA)... i would ignore those laws because they are unconstitutional...
i would also keep the contact information for a really good lawyer on hand in case i needed it... i know what you are thinking... i dont have the money for that... well i dont believe for one second that the NRA and the Cato institute wouldnt back up a case like that 100%... and like Heller, you wouldnt be out any money...
ok ok, i know that not everyone wants to be a figurehead for a lawsuit that changes state laws... but dammit, someone has to, perhaps im just young and dumb, but sometimes i spoil for a fight...
“I no longer need to run as a Presidential Candidate for the Socialist Party. The Democrat Party has adopted our platform.” - Norman Thomas, a six time candidate for president for the Socialist Party, 1944
i tend to agree with the whole woman being the aggressor and i have seen it several times... once a friend of mine was punched in the mouth and nose by his girlfriend, then tossed out of a moving car... he got caught in the seat belt and dragged across a parking lot... when the cops showed up, they charged him with the crime because some of his blood he was coughing up from his split lip and broken nose landed on her... BAM, felony assault with a bodily fluid...
the only time i intervened in a situation (other than the times i was being paid to break up fights) was when my best friend (at the time) choke slammed his girlfriend... she hadnt gotten physical with him and they were just yelling back and forth... i was up and across the room holding him in a full nelson before i even knew i was moving...
as i realized what i was doing, i looked at the girl and she told me to let him go... so i did... and promptly got into a fight with him... after that, things were never the same with the two of us, and thankfully we drifted apart before i could get further caught up in his criminal lifestyle....
“I no longer need to run as a Presidential Candidate for the Socialist Party. The Democrat Party has adopted our platform.” - Norman Thomas, a six time candidate for president for the Socialist Party, 1944
I've found the simplest way to educate folk is to ask the question I ask: "How many times have you hit/been hit by the opposite sex?" It's AMAZING the sort of stuff you'll hear from both sides, to justify female-on-male violence: "It's not like I HURT him!" Sure... We have no nerve endings, so we don't feel pain. "He said (insert nasty/hurtful thing here)" or "He called me...(insert nasty name here). So you think words are justification for violence?
Wifey had a bad habit of hitting me - in the arm, etc. - if I did or said something goofy. No, it didn't really hurt, but that's not the point. I'm not a punching bag, and if I did the same to her it would be unacceptable. I finally told her one night "the next time you do that, I'm going to hit back" - then I did. I didn't hit her any harder than she'd hit me, many times - but it got her attention and TOTALLY solved the problem.
One time, early on in our relationship, in the midst of one of our worst-ever arguments, she backed me against a wall and drew back as if to hit me. I calmly looked her straight in the eye and said "Go ahead, but I SWEAR you'll only do it ONCE." She thought better of it.
Later, she asked what I'd meant by that - whether I'd threatened retaliation, termination of our relationship, or what? "Well, whatever it is that you're MOST afraid of? THAT is what I meant."
She later - ONCE - took off her wedding-ring and threw it. I calmly went and retrieved it, and put it back on her hand before telling her "the NEXT time you throw that ring, putting it back on will not be an option." She used to have a habit of working herself up into one of these "fits" every so often, as if to blow off steam or whatever... I finally had enough of it and just told her point-blank that I was not interested in living that sort of drama, and that if she persisted I would simply leave. I didn't have to keep that promise too many times before she learned the lesson.
I don't know why it is that people seem to need these "explosions" -- sometimes I think it's too much TV, or too much watching a parent with similar habits. I confess that in my late teens/early twenties I too initiated some similar scenes, for reasons I truly don't understand today -- I guess I just thought that's how it is supposed to be. I'm not talking about violence, I'm talking about turning a small slight into a big blow-up that just plain didn't need to happen.
Life is simply too short to live in that way -- I refuse. I'd FAR rather be alone than live with ongoing drama like that, so I simply won't tolerate it. Talk to me. Tell me what I did wrong, so I can fix it or avoid it in the future - but don't scream, don't cry, don't throw things, ESPECIALLY for G*d's sake the symbol of our eternal commitment. If you throw that ring, you demonstrate it means nothing to you, and I will be gone.
I think we men encourage such behavior by condoning it, by giving the desired attention, by simple ACCEPTANCE. I refuse. I simply will not live that way.
I'm not saying we don't have our moments, but they're usually SILENT moments. When the silence ends, we usually manage to talk it out without a lot of needless drama. Apologies go a long way, even if I'm the only one capable of making them - and my REFUSAL to apologize when I've done nothing wrong is also an important tool.
Personally, I believe it is possible to have a drama-free relationship, and it's the only kind I'm interested in having. Make-up sex is just as good after a couple of days of the silent-treatment as it's ever been after a screaming four-act tragedy. I just won't accept the drama.
DD
workinwifdakids wrote:MV Gun Counter: "We're like Blackwater, except without the impulse control."
Random Internet Moron wrote: "High Caliber Magazine Clips are only useful for random slaughter of innocent civilians, so they should only be used by the police."
This is why Cops HATE domestic violence calls. Call 911 and stay the hell out of it. If you don't, you only have yourself to blame for what befalls you. The above stories are not even the tip of the iceberg.
There must be an end to this intimidation by those who come to this great country, but reject its culture.
Personally, I'd be hesitant to get involved in another domestic issue. Some years ago my old GF had a friend who was married to a dirtbag (I knew the guy in high school, he was a whack job then). He used to enjoy watching her "with" his friends, he hit her, threw how coffee on her, and would "punish" her by "forgetting" to take his meds (he was epileptic). One day GF calls me at work and says "(name redacted) wants to move out", so I arrange to leave early, go home, meet her and GF at (redacted)'s place while hubby is at work. I take the two girls out that night for dinner, (redacted) chows down on a steak and drinks Harvey's all evening before telling me she has $3 to her name (I'll buy dinner for someone who's hard up, but tell me first, and when I'm drinking tap beer and eating a burger it's, unsettling). She stayed at GF's place for a few days, then went back home to whacko. I ran into her a year or so later and she announced that they were expecting their first child (I didn't ask if she was sure who the father was, giving how her husband got his jollies).
That said, I don't know how I'd react to a man raising his hand to a woman in my presense, but I can take a good guess if the woman is someone I know and care for. I'm less sure if she's a stranger, especially if I walk in on the middle of the altercation.
To make an already long response longer, the same GF I mention above used to like the smack me in "the junk" or kick me in the shin if I teased her or said something she didn't like. I finally got sick of it and moved on.
Sounds like the real problem is that many females aren't raised to take responsibilities for their actions. The "Daddy's Little Girl" syndrome, to give it a name.
A weak government usually remains a servant of citizens, while a strong government usually becomes the master of its subjects.
- paraphrased from several sources
You never know what the hell is going on, so stay the hell out of it. Twenty years ago I learned that lesson and it's still valid.
Three years ago on a hot summer night about 1:00 am, here in this quiet safe neighborhood, I wake up to a girl screaming her head off: "LET ME GO!!! LET ME FUCKING GO!!" . I look out the window and see a black Suburban sideways in the street, doors open, and a big sonofabitch holding a kicking screaming girl on the ground by the hair and arm.
I put on pants, grab the the shotty, get downstairs and open the front door and hear the hysterical girl scream:
"BUT, DADDY, I LOVE HIM!!!!"
I turn around and go inside, as do two other neighbors who were outside in various states of undress, heading for trouble.
I watch the rest through the window and adreniline haze. Within seconds a 4 door Benz rolls up, screeching brakes, then the cop sirens and lights coming up the block, and the Benz takes off. Police continue to arrive, Daddy and girl get taken away. The Daddy is/was a senior VP in Zano Construction. That's the official name of Provenzano Construction.
