Dedicated Dad Needs Help

[tfbncc]

Dad, while my situation ain't the greatest, I can still set aside something for a fellow board member. It's not going to take anything away from my family or me. On the other hand, I believe we have a great community here. And we take care of each other. Who knows, in the future I may need some assistance. So, we give and take as the situation changes.

I'm a single father of two. My wife died in 1993, the year before I retired from the Navy. I've spent the last 15 years trying to pay off bills with only 1/3 the income the family had before my wife died and still keep a roof over our heads, food on the table, and something left over for little luxuries. I know what it's like to look at the bank account and wonder where the next meal will come from.

So, when a fellow board member needs help, I help. It's my nature. Because I don't like the idea of someone having to go through the same things I have.

Ray

[FastRope71]

yeah, what he said.

We help when we can, we ask when we must. Nobody is forcing anyone, and most feel good knowing their charitable contribution is going to someone they know (sort of).

[308Mike]

So, when a fellow board member needs help, I help. It's my nature. Because I don't like the idea of someone having to go through the same things I have.

Ray

Ray, he'll accept your help, even if he hasn't posted it. It's hard for him to acknowledge the help he's received, so he hasn't been posting much - he doesn't know what to say except THANKS (that's why he's been so quiet)!

[Rumpshot]

DD, 308Mike. Status? Update? What did Super Doc have to say?

We may be a disfunctional family, but we are family here.

[308Mike]

DD, 308Mike. Status? Update? What did Super Doc have to say?

We may be a disfunctional family, but we are family here.

I just talked to him today. I told him we were concerned about him and hadn't heard from him in a while. He apologized and again thanked us profusely for contributing to their funds - it just about paid for his COBRA insurance to get his updated surgery. It was certainly far more than he expected (more than a couple hundred bucks), but nothing close to what he needs. His COBRA insurance payment is $600+ a month, and he HAS to have insurance to cover the cost of his knee surgery.

I decided to wait to send him money until I could combine the money from two paychecks to send to him - I didn't want PayPal to get a significant cut of my contribution. I get paid tomorrow and will be sending a check shortly afterwards.

The options as he explained them to me regarding his knee weren't real reassuring. Both of the ends of his knee are a mess, and they've even talked about fusing his knee.

He's depressed about his (and the family's) situation and been spending a lot of time sleeping. There isn't much he feels he can do other than wait for people to make decisions, and he's depressed at what options he's facing and the lack of financial support (he should be providing) which is hurting his family - and that hurts the most.

He's very much a man's man and has a strong desire to provide for his family and prefers to decline offers of support. I asked him to log in and talk to us, and he said he doesn't have much motivation to do so because he doesn't want to seem like he's asking for help.

He had to borrow some money from relatives, so they aren't in dire straights (rainy-day money), but he's worried about going further into debt while he fights this crap.

I'm sending him some money 'cause I just got paid (on Friday morning). We're tight, but not that tight and he has a couple of little mouths to feed also.

Please, if you can find it in your wallet and your heart, help this guy out while he's getting screwed by his insurance company. Most of us can see his situation and can say, "but for the grace of God......."

[Rod]

Next time you talk to him, have him come on and list his skills, normal and unusual. Maybe we can brainstorm something he can do. I've given and will probably give more in the future. As someone else said, we're kind of a dysfunctional family but we at least get the helping family members part right.

[308Mike]

You guys chime in, and I'll copy and paste it into an email for him to read - or I'll read it to him (or maybe even read it into his answering machine).

[Weetabix]

Mike - how much does paypal ding him?

Here's my bit to cut and paste to him:

DD - Quit being a dope. We're not doing this out of pity. We're doing it for a brother. If the roles were reversed - if one of us were in the same situation you're in and you were doing OK - you'd chip in, wouldn't you? Same deal. You just got the dirty end of the stick this time.

I can't help quoting famous dead guys, so here's one for you from Benjamin Franklin. He made a list of character attributes that he wanted to develop in himself:

TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.

You're in the unavoidable territory right now. Be not disturbed. Accept the help of friends and give help to friends in the future.

Accept the fact that people care about you. Would you withdraw your own caring from your friends because they should be able to do without it? No. It says something about them and their character that you care about them. Same deal going your way.

[Baja boy]

Mike,
I am willing to help, but would rather send it directly to him , rather than paypal getting a cut ???
Then my other concern is : I had a double knee replacement in Flagstaff Az. in 2001 and have had a great experience!! But I had a similar problem with my disability company when they told me to "get lost" !! I solved the problem and the insurance company paid me every cent !! I offered to help and advise DD in 2-3 emails --it's the same company , and he never responded !!!!!!!! I am not an attorney, but I did most of the work myself and beat the bastards !!

by Mike
You guys chime in, and I'll copy and paste it into an email for him to read - or I'll read it to him (or maybe even read it into his answering machine).

[308Mike]

After a certain dollar amount is reached (not very high either), PayPal starts deducting (or charging) 10%. It's not a big number, and I understand they need to support their services some way, but I think 10% is gouging - especially when many of these people need every buck they can get their hands on.

Baja boy, I'll be sending you snail-mail info.