Need help from military types (Professional org)

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Netpackrat
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Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 11:04 pm

Re: Need help from military types (Professional org)

Post by Netpackrat »

Courtesy of some guy who copied and pasted to his blog... Reading it again already raised my morale.
*posted on kimdutoit.com* by Yogi
made me laugh so hard i cried


I work for Uncle sam, way out in the boonies.

We spend a lot of our time out in the country side, surrounded by farmland. This time of season is when farmers start harvesting. All this harvesting has a nasty tendency of chasing all sorts of critters on to our facilities.

One of these "guests" happened to be a badger. On a sidenote, a badger is a mean piece of critter. It does NOT back down from anything, for any reason. EVER. A grizzly bear will run from a badger.

We noticed the badger within the fenceline, and we figured he would eventually walk off site, and left it at that. Well, Mr Supertroop figured he would prove his manhood. He grabbed a 2 foot long screwdriver, a plastic garbage can lid as a shield, and departed to slay the beast.

I went into my office, and started calling my supervisor. I figured supertroop will be needing a ride to the hospital soon, and the sooner we get him a driver the better. While waiting to get off hold, we all gathered by the windows to watch the show. It was about this time when the bets were made.

Supertrooper had no trouble finding the badger. He valiantly approached the 15 pound monster, his screwdriver held high. Things looked bleak for our little fuzzy interloper. Until... he threw the screwdriver. And hit. Not with the point. The handle. Supertroop just gave up his weapon. Things turned ugly at that point.

Accounts differ on what happened next... All we know is there was a fuzzy blur, and lots of screaming and squeaking. I can only tell you what I saw.

The badger charged supertroop, who was about 20 feet away. Supertroop stood his ground, and raised his shield to fend off the beast. That was his second mistake. The badger ran right under the lid at his leg, and proceeded to tear his leg into little bloody strips.

To defend himself, he proceeded to whack the badger with the garbage can lid. The badger attacked the shield, and wripped it into tiny bits. Supertroop took the opportunity to run away. Because he was in a panic, he ran away in a random direction. Not towards the door, but behind a garage...

By now the badger was finished with the shield, and was looking for more. It started going after supertroop again, hissing and hopping like a fuzzy little hellbeast. All courage has left our Hero's heart, and he ran around the garage, screaming. Unfortunately for him, the garage was locked. He did about 1 1/2 laps before he saw us waving him in to the main building. Finally, he ran into the room, inches in front of the badger.

His pants and right boot were shredded, and he was bleeding fairly badly. We cleaned his leg, (looked worse than what it was) and tried to calm him down. He was crying hysterically. He ended up getting a few rabies shots.

The badger suffered no visible injury. In fact it stood guard outside the door for a good 20 minutes until hosed off by fire extiguishers.
Cognosce teipsum et disce pati

"People come and go in our lives, especially the online ones. Some leave a fond memory, and some a bad taste." -Aesop
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Yogimus
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Re: Need help from military types (Professional org)

Post by Yogimus »

Here is my recruitment statement:
- Good morning flight, I am here as a representative of an organization. (name left out for this post) I am standing this group up from scratch, and I need a volunteer from each of your flights.

Our purpose is to increase unit cohesion, and to encourage competition and camaraderie among flights.
We are here for YOU, the airman. Here is what we are not: We are not a "Volunteer" organization. We will give absolutely nothing to the community. Our focus is you only. We are not a fund raising organization. Above all, we are not an organization to join if you just want to fill a block on your evaluations sheet. If you volunteer, you will WORK. We meet biweekly, on sundays and mondays.



As for the stuff we do, our 1st event is to hold a bowling tournament for all the flights, and we are getting pretty good participation. I have ZERO authority over any of the flights, so I have no screws to turn.
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Highspeed
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Re: Need help from military types (Professional org)

Post by Highspeed »

Yogimus wrote: Good morning flight, I am here as a representative of an organization. (name left out for this post) I am standing this group up from scratch, and I need a volunteer from each of your flights.

Our purpose is to increase unit cohesion, and to encourage competition and camaraderie among flights by engaging in ill advised bouts of single combat with enraged badgers.
We are here for YOU, the airman. And the badgers too of course, they get bored without airmen to savage. Here is what we are not: We are not a "Volunteer" organization. We will give absolutely nothing to the community, except the occasional badger pelt, or maybe an airman pelt.
Our focus is you only. We are not a fund raising organization. Above all, we are not an organization to join if you dislike being mauled by furry hellmonsters. If you volunteer, you will possibly get rabies and definitely lose a lot of blood. We meet biweekly, on sundays and mondays, badgers permitting
All my life I been in the dog house
I guess that just where I belong
That just the way the dice roll
Do my dog house song
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tcourtplayer
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Re: Need help from military types (Professional org)

Post by tcourtplayer »

My best piece of advice is to get buy in from the highest level you think will support it/you are willing to put up with. Having the squadron CO or better yet the base/wing CO excited about it can open up a lot of possibilities for events and/or rewards that Jag was mentioning. Be aware though that whatever level you get buy in from though will want to feel included. This can range from the simple "let me know what you need" to "make sure I know when the meetings are so I can stop by and go full blown good idea fairy on this."
JAG: So why do you need armor piercing ammo?
tcourtplayer: Zombies
JAG: For when they hide behind engine blocks?
tcourtplayer: Just because the movies say they will be dumb and slow doesn't make it true.
JAG: WOW!!!
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Vonz90
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Re: Need help from military types (Professional org)

Post by Vonz90 »

Clearly my approach is the best. Go with it Yogi. Everyone else doesn't want acknowledge it because they are jealous.
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blackeagle603
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Re: Need help from military types (Professional org)

Post by blackeagle603 »

yeah, in the finest traditions of the Naval Service, "Liberty is secured until morale improves."

After 60 days straight of 12on/12off tell they'll be eligible for 2 stale beers on the fantail at 1100HRS -- op tempo and committments permitting. Needs of the Navy prevail.
"The Guncounter: More fun than a barrel of tattooed knife-fighting chain-smoking monkey butlers with drinking problems and excessive gambling debts!"

"The right of the citizens to keep and bear arms has justly been considered, as the palladium of the liberties of a republic;" Justice Story
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Jericho941
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Re: Need help from military types (Professional org)

Post by Jericho941 »

See, the problem with that plan is that we like our Air Force bases not burnt to the ground.
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Weetabix
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Re: Need help from military types (Professional org)

Post by Weetabix »

Ask the guys who contact you if they've ever organized an event anything like one you're considering. Tell him to do it again, only this time for your organization. Delegation is the key.
Note to self: start reading sig lines. They're actually quite amusing. :D
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Vonz90
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Re: Need help from military types (Professional org)

Post by Vonz90 »

blackeagle603 wrote:yeah, in the finest traditions of the Naval Service, "Liberty is secured until morale improves."

After 60 days straight of 12on/12off tell they'll be eligible for 2 stale beers on the fantail at 1100HRS -- op tempo and commitments permitting. Needs of the Navy prevail.
In the Navy, the mission comes first. Then it rolls over and smokes a cigarette.
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Rumpshot
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Re: Need help from military types (Professional org)

Post by Rumpshot »

blackeagle603 wrote:yeah, in the finest traditions of the Naval Service, "Liberty is secured until morale improves."

After 60 days straight of 12on/12off tell they'll be eligible for 2 stale beers on the fantail at 1100HRS -- op tempo and committments permitting. Needs of the Navy prevail.
You forgot to mention, I was one of those that controlled/issued the stale beer to you and your shipmates. :lol: Also there exists a photo of me and my partner in crime consuming one of those stale beers.
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