Yogi reviews: Remington 1911 R-1 Carry (blasted)

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Yogimus
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Yogi reviews: Remington 1911 R-1 Carry (blasted)

Post by Yogimus » Sun Aug 31, 2014 12:12 am

Today, yogi reviews the 1911 made by remington, the R-1 Carry, seen here

Image

I know painfully little about 1911's, to the point that the little wrench that came in the box blew my fucking mind for a solid 10 minutes.

[center]Image

WHAT MANNER OF FAGGOTRY IS THIS?!
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Because of my zero experience on 1911-s, I must assume I know all there is to know about these pistols, and I would appreciate it if you could just accept that my word is gospel. It will go much easier for all of us. Kind of like being raped by knowledge. Don't resist, and there will be less bruising. I will try to organize my thoughts through this haze of the devil's fermentation.

[center]The Feel of the Boomrod, overall[/center]

This little pistol is the 1st 1911 I handled that fit my hand. After minutes of exhaustive accidental research, I have come to find out this is because the grip design lacks a dorsal fuckyohands bump. (I believe that would be the proper nomenclature, as per the manual) The trigger on this sweetie is like flicking a 12 year old's clit. Tender, Light, and satisfying. The grip size and angle places the trigger exactly where it should be. The slide slides like a greased up fat kid on a slip and slide. My only quibble is that Mr Browning's massive thumbs must have been a lesbian's dream, as the slide release is a motherfucker and a half to operate from a standard grip.
[center]The Gucci shit it comes with:[/center]

Dear guys at remington... when your pistol cases are the size of a fucking LAPTOP, you need to get a god damned grip. It comes in a large... L A R G E green case, the size of a fucking VCR. (The fucking VCR of course being the old top loader exclusively reserved for watching pornography and Disney's Pocahontas... take it you red skinned she-bitch... take the white man's burden!) The downside is, that while the case is extremely large, it is designed by a fucktarded monkey, that bred from an orangutan and donald trump. Once you open the case, you realize that the inside is made of that lovely "LET ME FUCK YOUR GUN'S FINISH RIGHT UP!" style plastic moulding that loves to let a single grain of sand wear the finish off the entire side of the gun. Oh, and the literature! Guys at remington, THANK YOU for solving my "What to do during a massive colon-destroying shit" quandary. I have enough reading material to last me a week. In fact, that sexy little tool provided with the weapon fits PERFECTLY into the slot in thop of the case, and gave me many fun minutes fishing that little motherfucker out!
[center]Image[/center]

The gun also comes with an extended 8 round magazine, increasing your available firepower by a whole bullet!


[center]A day at the range:[/center]
Loaded 3 rounds, (I find this to be a safe number, in case a handgun goes full auto on me) took aim at a Shoot'n'C target at 15 yards, and squeezed the trigger. 230 grains of manliness rode a train of fire and awesome out of the barrel at 800 feet per second, delivering excellence to the recipient with most judicial prejudice. Dead center. First shot. Ever from a 1911. Dead. Fucking. Center. Tried again twice, and got the same result. Damn, I was gonna have to fuck this up myself! I loaded the 8 rounder, and proceeded to jerk that trigger like it was a pro football player in the champagne room of the tit and tickle. In spite of my worst efforts, I was still grouping ragged holes, just a bit to the left of bullseye. Well, shit. Now I have a new night stand gun. THANKS, DICKS.

This leads me to the sights.
[center]TRIJICON NITE SITE INCLUDED!

Warning: Purposeful misspelling in item description means the dealer thinks you are a barely functioning republican. (a class documented to be 1/4 of a rung below retard, and 2 rungs above liberal) [/center]

The front sight does in fact glow in the motherfucking dark. The rear sight on the other hand, does no such thing... so... you know... way to go the extra half a mile when the whole mile would have done some good. You know what, imagine the money you could save if you just removed all rear sights from guns! I mean fuck sight picture! That shit is for fucking Irish Methodists. If you want to see your sights, pull the trigger, and use the muzzle flash as proof of god's love for armed response! But seriously... the sights are fine in the day time. Trijicon front sight is bright enough, but useless as it provides no reference.


All in all, I ran 50 rounds of ball and 8 rounds of defense through it, and would immediately without hesitation recommend this gun if you plan on murdering a spouse and/or coworkers.

The average american class size of 20+ pupils means the purchase of an extra magazine or two would be required to "SHOW THEM ALL!" and as such, I can not recommend this model over a glock for purging the uncleans from the local "Sister Mary's Parochial School and Bingo Hall"

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Kommander
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Re: Yogi reviews: Remington 1911 R-1 Carry (blasted)

Post by Kommander » Sun Aug 31, 2014 2:55 am

It's a slide stop, not a slide release. On the 1911 your supposed rack the slide to reload or otherwise drop the slide. There is actually a school of thought that all automatic pistols should be operated by slide racking (power stroke!) rather than the slide release.

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JustinR
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Re: Yogi reviews: Remington 1911 R-1 Carry (blasted)

Post by JustinR » Sun Aug 31, 2014 6:40 am

Why can't reviews in American Rifleman be more like this? :lol:
"The armory was even better. Above the door was a sign: You dream, we build." -Mark Owen, No Easy Day

"My assault weapon won't be 'illegal,' it will be 'undocumented.'" -KL

Aesop
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Re: Yogi reviews: Remington 1911 R-1 Carry (blasted)

Post by Aesop » Sun Aug 31, 2014 8:54 am

Yogimus wrote: The trigger on this sweetie is like flicking a 12 year old's clit. Tender, Light, and satisfying.
Because without some prior appreciation for Yogi's finer points and unique metaphors, that sort of line would require it to be published in Thailand, probably still would violate some kiddie porn statute against US importation, and would likely result in the publishers getting firebombed about once a day reagrdless.

Other than that, no reason. :D

Besides, who'd believe it anyway?

Until I see a gun mag review that states that "the ___________________ is an unredeemed piece of crap that should be loaded once, shoved up the manufacturer's exhaust port, fired quickly until empty, then tied to a rope and used as a boat anchor", they're all just pimping the gun-of-the-month, right?
"There are four types of homicide: felonious, accidental, justifiable, and praiseworthy." -Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Greg
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Re: Yogi reviews: Remington 1911 R-1 Carry (blasted)

Post by Greg » Sun Aug 31, 2014 12:28 pm

Kommander wrote:It's a slide stop, not a slide release. On the 1911 your supposed rack the slide to reload or otherwise drop the slide. There is actually a school of thought that all automatic pistols should be operated by slide racking (power stroke!) rather than the slide release.
Slingshot.

The Yogi-isms were great, and I found the thumb observation right-on. It's why 1911's don't work for me, I don't have enough thumb.
Maybe we're just jaded, but your villainy is not particularly impressive. -Ennesby

If you know what you're doing, you're not learning anything. -Unknown
Sanity is the process by which you continually adjust your beliefs so they are predictively sound. -esr

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Kommander
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Re: Yogi reviews: Remington 1911 R-1 Carry (blasted)

Post by Kommander » Sun Aug 31, 2014 12:39 pm

Ass-op if you have not you might want to look into Gun Tests. While perhaps not as colorful as you would like they seem perfectly will to call a pos a pos. Powerstroking is where you reach over the top of the slide and grip it between your palm and fingertips to rack the slide. Silly name I know but the concept has some validity.

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First Shirt
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Re: Yogi reviews: Remington 1911 R-1 Carry (blasted)

Post by First Shirt » Sun Aug 31, 2014 2:00 pm

Being a left-handed sort of person, I've found that the best way to work the slide stop is with the social finger of the support (right) hand. Since they insist on putting the slide stop on the wrong side of the damn frame!

Why didn't a buy a buttload of Randalls when they were available?
But there ain't many troubles that a man caint fix, with seven hundred dollars and a thirty ought six."
Lindy Cooper Wisdom

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