Yogi Reviews: The Purge (drunk)

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Yogimus
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Yogi Reviews: The Purge (drunk)

Post by Yogimus » Mon Jun 10, 2013 9:43 am

The Purge: Quick and down and dirty version: Sci fi original movie that somehow made it to theaters. Good acting, 1 good character, and hamfisted attempt at social commentary. The entire movie should be experienced in a livingroom, among friends, with copious amounts of alcohol. Is it bad? In a glorious way. Does it have redeeming qualities? Not really.

Spoilers to follow:

Let's get a list of characters going:

Father - Ethan Hawke playing a 40 year old father of 2, a successful salesman who will do whatever it takes to keep his family safe during "The Purge". It is revealed through dialogue that he is a self made man, building his success from nothing.

Mother - The conscience of the movie, serves as that annoying nagging voice throughout the film, and is used as a canvas to bukkakke expository dialogue onto.

Daughter - Woman in distress. She serves absolutely no purpose other than getting in trouble or going missing. Also, shows some (above average) leg, and acts as catholic schoolgirl spankyspank fuel.

Son - Really strange character, and actually an absolutely fascinating case study. Plot wise, he's the source of the initial fuckup, and acts as an "anchor" for the family, keeping them separated. As an actual CHARACTER, the film does a great job in portraying violence from the point of view of a child. Unfortunately, this in no way affects the plot, but the child is sort of the audience's guide through the film.

Boyfriend - Throwaway character, a love will conquer all type mentality, that resorts to violence. He is basically the first villain in the story, and is dispatched too quickly to truly develop.

Villain! - Fucking great portrayal of the rage of a spoiled child, so over the top that it makes the movie wonderful. It is obvious that the director is going for "freaky" film cuts, but it is just so wonderfully over the top that any "fear" element is immediately dissolved.

SURPRISE (Scooby doo)VILLAIN! - Oh look... class doesn't make you ny better! YAY WE ALL LEARNED... NOTHING!

Homeless guy! (Macguffin the fierce) - Well, we needed something to cause tension, may as well be the BLACK!!!! GET IT?!?!?! HE'S BLACK!!! guy. He is exactly what you expect. Oh, he's a veteran. It is never officially stated, but LOOK AT HIS DOGTAGS! LOOK AT THEM! I ZOOMED IN SO HARD!





Plot Summary:

Year is 2022, the "New Founding Fathers" (not specified any further) have legalized the purge, a 12 hr period of "Free for all", where people can rob, rape, murder, and rush noobs in starcraft at will, with no retribution from the law.

The movie as it unfolds: (review proper)
The film starts with a drawn out period, taking place on the eve of the purge, where the director tries to establish the atmosphere of "This is normal and accepted". All in all, it is effective in establishing the mood, because if someone smacks you in the face with a sack full of door knobs long enough, you tend to get the point. We get a brief moment of character development, where you find out what everyone's role in the film will be. Still, the characters are believable, and well portrayed. Please do not confuse "likable" with believable. Mr Hawke does a GREAT GREAT job keeping this part of the movie together, and the family scene is just wonderfully believable. This is the point where if you want to enjoy the movie, you can go all in. The world, as advertised, begins to exist.

Short dinner scene later, and the purge commences. The family goes into lockdown, and tries to pretend that the world outside their cocoon doesn't exist for 12 hours. Why the fuck they didn't have an actual PLAN other than close the everything, is beyond me.You have 12 hrs to kill... and sleeping is probably unwise... so... you know... get a fucking boardgame or something... but no, the adults leave the children unattended, and go about their day to days. This is also the point at which the characters start making fucktarded decisions.

1st: The security system that locks the house down is purely defensive.
2nd: The password to DISARM the system is known by everyone. (oh dear I hope this doesn't backfire! I HOPE THAT'S NOT WHY THE DIRECTOR FOCUSED THE CAMERA SO HARD ON THE KEYPAD!!!!!!!!)

2 things happen simultaneously: The son sees a BLACK GUY! (Did I mention he is black?) running for his life, and lets him in. Because he is a kid, and therefore naive, and prone to let strangers in the house. (A strech, but believable) Next, we find out the daughter's boyfriend is hiding in the house, and wants to force a conversation with the father of the girl he is penising in the vagina. One thing leads to another, and we find that the boyfriend wants to kill the father, but fucks up the attempt, and ends up getting ventilated. In the confusion, the black guy disappears in the house.

The movie is now irreparably broken. The decisions made by ALL CHARACTERS from this point forward have no place in the universe which the film exists in.

The antagonist appears at the door, a wonderfully played "polite stranger", so over the top that it is absolutely delicious. The conflict arises... the family must bring the McGuffin man to the stranger, or he will tear their fortress apart. The character is that of a college aged student, with innate leadership abilities. He is also(and this is not a mis-type) he is the caricature of WHAT THE CARICATURE of a leftie would believe a right winged loonie to be. He is such a wonderful cartoon character, that he is a parody of a parody. Any political statement to be made by this character's existence is over-shadowed by his absolute childish portrayal.

This stranger demands a black man for sacrifice (no really) because he is a worthless bum (NO REALLY) and will spare the family if his group gets the kill. Of course, the black man is unaccounted for, because why the fuck not... right? I mean how could a WHITE family not know where a BLACK guy is? Oh dear, I wonder who will find this BLACK ANIMAL? I hope it's not the absolutely rapeable daughter! Can you BELIEVE IT? A WHITE TEENAGER RUNNING INTO A FERAL BLACK MAN?! CAN YOU BELIEVE RAPEABLE IS NOT IN MY SPELLCHECK?!

Well, while the "polite stranger" and his crew are frollicking about the outside of the house, and the audience wonders why the family doesn't gun them down in the open killzones, the daughter whitey McRapebait eventually runs into Blackie McGuffin, and a *gasp* HOSTAGE SITUATION occurs, where the mean whiteman shoots the noble savage in the gut, and a scene About as ham fisted as piglet going elbows deep into pooh's colon, with nothing but honey and feces as lubricant, we find out that WE ARE THE SAVAGES! NOT THIS NOBLE NEGRO! WHO IS ALSO A VETERAN!!! LOOK AT HIS DOGTAGS! (Drinking game: take a shot every time the camera zooms in on dogtags)

One thing leads to another, the conscience (mom) convinces the dad that torturemurdering someone is wrong, and they should instead defend themselves against those that mean to do them harm. As soon as they come to this epiphany, THE ANTAGONISTS GAIN ENTRY! MURDERS! DEATHS! HORRIBLE TACTICS! A SHOTGUN WITH MORE USELESS FEATURES THAN USEFUL ONES! ACTION!
One thing leads to another, and the father gets stabbed (Which he deserves, because hey... successful white guy) the main bad guy gets killed, and the neighbors sweep in to save the day.

PLOT TWIST! NEIGHBORS ARE THERE TO KILL THEM BECAUSE THEY ENVY THE FAMILY'S SUCCESS!!!!
PLOT TWIST! THE BLACK MAN SAVES THE FAMILY! GET IT??? CAUSE HE'S BLACK?! (Can't stress how much the movie builds this up)

The movie ends with the mother sitting at a table with all the surviving neighbors, saying "There will be no more violence tonight", with a shotgun in her possession. A really well done scene, I might add.

Cut to credits.



POLITICS: A character study

I have NO idea how this movie could be considered an affront to conservatives or "NRA" types.

Looking at the "HERO" of the movie, we find a 40 year old, self made businessman, who while respecting the law, will fight with all his tools to defend his family. He realizes that there is no outside help, and takes matters into his own hands. All in all, a historically conservative caricature. His negative traits are the acceptance of immorality, because he believes he is above the negative effects. (Which side of the political spectrum does this fall under...)

The other "Hero" is the black fugitive. (a bum) He is a military veteran, and possesses no negative traits (other than being a bum). He too acts as a military man, at first evading, and then defending. The fact that he is homeless is not an inherent trait, but is a sad fact of life for many veterans. Again, all in all a conservative character, with no real negative traits. Other than the movie's insistence that BLACK! = DANGEROUS!

The "mother" is the conscience of the movie, and ends up portraying the universal truth that "The person most armed decides the civility level of the conversation", an NRA message that we can all agree with.

The children are representations of how hopes and naivete get crushed by reality. This is a neutral subject, but the destruction of the "love will conquer all" boyfriend is a rather abrupt reality check to that thought process, one that should have been explored further. In fact, the way everyone seems OK with his death is a bit... disturbing. Of course, this is a PRO NRA event as well...

The "Polite Stranger", while a supposed conservative, comes off as an >EXTREME< liberal. He believes his "rights" are unalienable, regardless of the effects on others. He is obviously born into privilege, and places no value on life. He also espouses the idea that violence is acceptable if it serves HIS goals. Then again, this may be me going down the "I don't like this train of thought, so I will assign it to a political group which I also don't like".

The "Helpful neighbors" are guided by envy. "Kill those who have, because we don't" is the ABSOLUTE FUCKING DEFINITION of communism, as it is applied at the tip of the spear.

All in all, the movie is about as political as the movie "Wing Commander".


MAIN DRAWBACKS:

Who the FUCK splits a 2 man team while room clearing?
Who the FUCK goes room clearing when you can fortify?
Who the FUCK doesn't put gun ports into his defensive plan?

You will not be able to watch this movie without screaming these questions at the screen.

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randy
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Re: Yogi Reviews: The Purge (drunk)

Post by randy » Mon Jun 10, 2013 12:24 pm

Yogimus wrote:All in all, the movie is about as political as the movie "Wing Commander".
Now the timing of this post makes a little more sense.
...even before I read MHI, my response to seeing a poster for the stars of the latest Twilight movies was "I see 2 targets and a collaborator".

free_me
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Re: Yogi Reviews: The Purge (drunk)

Post by free_me » Mon Jun 10, 2013 3:16 pm

I saw the preview before enduring a Star Trek matinee and thought: "Forgettable. Lame. Next!". Thanks for the review.

Old Grafton
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Re: Yogi Reviews: The Purge (drunk)

Post by Old Grafton » Tue Jun 11, 2013 12:52 pm

Beats hell out of Siskel and Ebert.... :D
I'm not old--It's too early to be this late.

Aesop
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Re: Yogi Reviews: The Purge (drunk)

Post by Aesop » Tue Jun 11, 2013 10:10 pm

I read this when it was minutes old, and was struck speechless.

Upon reflection, I'd suggest that if Yogi were to undertake a movie review every month or so, at popular urging, we could probably chip in funds for the pre-movie bar tab.
"There are four types of homicide: felonious, accidental, justifiable, and praiseworthy." -Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

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308Mike
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Re: Yogi Reviews: The Purge (drunk)

Post by 308Mike » Wed Jun 12, 2013 1:32 am

Ass-op wrote:I read this when it was minutes old, and was struck speechless.

Upon reflection, I'd suggest that if Yogi were to undertake a movie review every month or so, at popular urging, we could probably chip in funds for the pre-movie bar tab.
I'm game!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Any other movies we'd like to have Yogi review before they hit the DVD circuit???? :P :P :D ;) ;)
POLITICIANS & DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON

A person properly schooled in right and wrong is safe with any weapon. A person with no idea of good and evil is unsafe with a knitting needle, or the cap from a ballpoint pen.

I remain pessimistic given the way BATF and the anti gun crowd have become tape worms in the guts of the Republic. - toad

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Yogimus
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Re: Yogi Reviews: The Purge (drunk)

Post by Yogimus » Wed Jun 12, 2013 1:58 am

I don't work well when pressured.

TheArmsman
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Re: Yogi Reviews: The Purge (drunk)

Post by TheArmsman » Wed Jun 12, 2013 2:06 am

Who said anything about being pressured?

You'll have enough beer in ya that you won't care about time, (other than where the next beer is. :P )
When death is inevitable, style counts.

Survival trumps programming.

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308Mike
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Re: Yogi Reviews: The Purge (drunk)

Post by 308Mike » Wed Jun 12, 2013 2:14 am

Yogimus wrote:I don't work well when pressured.
No pressure, just do like you're doing and go out and see some movies. When you get back from the show, let us know what you thought. After all, you do that ALL THE TIME, so why should this be any different??

I have to admit, your drunk reviews are much more entertaining than the others - we just want you to give more of them, when you get time to head out to the movies. :)

Oh, and also write about your impressions and reviews. That is all. It really isn't that much different than what you already do, it's just that WE might establish a fund to pay for your movies (and possibly some popcorn - but NO POPCORN BUCKETS WITH HOLES IN THE BOTTOM SO OTHERS CAN TOUCH YOUR JUNK - if necessary, I'll call the theater and ask them to add some habañero sauce to the popcorn butter) and reviews. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: 8-) 8-)
POLITICIANS & DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON

A person properly schooled in right and wrong is safe with any weapon. A person with no idea of good and evil is unsafe with a knitting needle, or the cap from a ballpoint pen.

I remain pessimistic given the way BATF and the anti gun crowd have become tape worms in the guts of the Republic. - toad

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evan price
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Re: Yogi Reviews: The Purge (drunk)

Post by evan price » Wed Jun 12, 2013 4:04 am

308Mike wrote:
Ass-op wrote:I read this when it was minutes old, and was struck speechless.

Upon reflection, I'd suggest that if Yogi were to undertake a movie review every month or so, at popular urging, we could probably chip in funds for the pre-movie bar tab.
I'm game!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Any other movies we'd like to have Yogi review before they hit the DVD circuit???? :P :P :D ;) ;)
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