A little family military history

[PawPaw]

Be easy on him. I knew guys who were over there during that time, and to a man they all think they got screwed.

[Aglifter]

Would it be easier for him to talk to someone who'd not his son?

[Rod]

Chris, I was B 4/3 Infantry 11th Brigade, 23rd Inf Div. (Americal) in 1968. We operated in the same area your dad did and he's right; that was a nasty area. If you want and he wants, get him in touch with me, if it might help.

[Jericho941]

My dad was at Mary Ann. Shipped out before it got overrun, though. If the book you mentioned is Sappers in the Wire (I think it's called), some of it talks about the months leading up to it when he was still there. I borrowed his copy... he'd written notes in the margins. Basically, anything involving a Capt. Strand is highly suspect. Lots of notes around his actions like "liar," "never happened," and "medal monger."

[PawPaw]

He's only really been able to talk about Viet Nam with his few buddies who were there, with his brother who was there, and with me.

His buddies understand, his brother understands, and you don't. It's probably as frustrating for him as it is for you. It took Joe Galloway to write "We Were Soldiers", and that was about the start of the war. And, you'll recall that Joe was there, so he understood, but it took the trained writer in him to put it on paper.

Your Dad's war was a weird little war, and the veterans were reviled when they came home. We treated them wrong as a nation after sending them off to a messy little conflict that we weren't willing to win. We learned a lot from that war, and thankfully as a nation we've learned to separate the soldiers who are sent from the politicians who send them. These days we treat our warriors with the respect that they deserve, regardless of the right or wrong of the politicians who send them. In the early '70s we didn't.

I didn't go to Vietnam, through the vagaries of my birthdate and the training regimen of the Army. I put on the uniform in 1973 and by the time I was ready to go, it was over. My mother breathed a huge sigh of relief. However, I remember wearing my uniform in civilian settings (airports, restaurants, etc), and being called names and worse. That was a horrible time to be a soldier because the nation as a whole was caught up in the politics of the war and couldn't separate the warriors who went from the politcians who sent them. It was extremely demoralizing to be a soldier in 1973, 74, 75. If you couple that with the normal PTS of combat, it's a wonder that any of those guys survived it.

No, PTS is not a mis-spelling. I believe that post-traumatic stress is a common reaction to a traumatic event, and is not a disorder. It affects us all. It can't be a disorder if it affects everyone. And it does. Some folks deal with it better than others, but it affects everyone.

[randy]

No, PTS is not a mis-spelling. I believe that post-traumatic stress is a common reaction to a traumatic event, and is not a disorder. It affects us all. It can't be a disorder if it affects everyone. And it does. Some folks deal with it better than others, but it affects everyone.

It only becomes a disorder when someone can't/won't deal with it and are unable to live their life because of the effects.

[Steamforger]

Your dad sounds a lot like Uncle Joe. I don't know the specifics, but I know only a handfull of guys he was with made it through one single night where the excrement impacted the oscillator. the rest of his tours was reportedly no joke either. These days he is a carpenter and spends as much time as he can in deep woods, back country camping or just taking a lawn chair and ice chest out into the middle of the river all day.

So many of these guys are still over there.

[TheArmsman]

I can get my dad to talk a little about Vietnam. Did a couple of tours as an engineer/motor transport mechanic.

But, the Korean War, nothing. I know he made the landing at Inchon, and he thought Chesty Puller had a high voice.

Going to take a clue from Chris and see if I can get him to open up some more.

[BadgerVet]

I was in Vietnam in 1970 at Camp Eagle. South of the DMZ, south of Hue, north of DaNang, near a village called Phu Bi ?. We were away from the big cities so the 'action' was mostly mortar drops into the camp in the middle of the night. Once or twice a month, nothing like the almost constant shelling some camps took. I consider myself lucky that I didn't get into the 'heavy' shit that so many did.

Looking back, I was also lucky I still had time to serve, and was at Ft. Jackson before returning to civilian life. It gave me a chance to ease back into 'normal' life. Dumping a soldier straight from a war zone to civilian life in less than a week is a major adjustment, especially with the 'welcome home' most of us got.

After I got out, there were a couple of minor incidents with the hippies in Madison before I just packed it in and shut it out. It was years later when I joined the VVA and hooked up with other vets before most people found out I had been in the Army. Once you shut it out, it's hard to bring it back.

So, Chris, good luck with your Dad.

[308Mike]

I can get my dad to talk a little about Vietnam. Did a couple of tours as an engineer/motor transport mechanic.

But, the Korean War, nothing. I know he made the landing at Inchon, and he thought Chesty Puller had a high voice.

Going to take a clue from Chris and see if I can get him to open up some more.

If he's not willing to discuss it, see if you can get him to write it down instead. That way he doesn't have to be concerned about your initial reactions and passing judgement on what happened (even if you weren't going to nor had any desire to even try and judge him and his actions - that still might be a fear of his). OTOH, just thinking about the stuff long enough to bring up the memories to put them on paper might be too painful. For me, sometimes it's MUCH easier to put stuff on paper/computer screen than it can be discussing it. Perhaps I can do that so much easier is because of my experience with writing LOTS of police reports. It's just something to consider which might be easier for him than an actual discussion. He can always clarify things he'd written later on, but at least now you have some additional insight (just a little bit of what he went through).

Once you you get him talking, and he's comfortable sharing with you, don't be surprised if he just keeps talking as bottled-up thoughts, feelings, and frustrations come out. You can try getting him to talk by asking about his boot camp and any funny stories from that and his initial training for his MOS. You can ask him what it was like to be on a military transport ship, if they had to go through any large storms, if he got seasick, if they had any problems on board the ship, if they screwed with the sailors or the sailors screwed with them, etc., etc.

Good luck!!