Deep Thoughts

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Weetabix
Posts: 5444
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 11:04 pm

Deep Thoughts

Post by Weetabix » Wed Dec 13, 2017 6:11 pm

Did you ever have some random, Jack Handy type thought? We need a place for those. Bonus points if it's original to you, but your favorite Jack Handy quotes are also great to share.

I've always liked this one:
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

Fire away!
Last edited by Weetabix on Wed Dec 13, 2017 6:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Note to self: start reading sig lines. They're actually quite amusing. :D

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Weetabix
Posts: 5444
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 11:04 pm

Re: Deep Thoughts

Post by Weetabix » Wed Dec 13, 2017 6:13 pm

How does a blind guy know when he's done wiping in the bathroom?
Note to self: start reading sig lines. They're actually quite amusing. :D

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HTRN
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Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 3:05 am

Re: Deep Thoughts

Post by HTRN » Wed Dec 13, 2017 8:25 pm

Why are ther locks on 24 hour store?
HTRN, I would tell you that you are an evil fucker, but you probably get that a lot ~ Netpackrat

Describing what HTRN does as "antics" is like describing the wreck of the Titanic as "a minor boating incident" ~ First Shirt

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Vonz90
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Joined: Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:05 pm

Re: Deep Thoughts

Post by Vonz90 » Wed Dec 13, 2017 9:56 pm

If you are not doing anything, how do you know when you are finished?

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evan price
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Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:24 am

Re: Deep Thoughts

Post by evan price » Wed Dec 13, 2017 11:15 pm

It's terrible that entire families can be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs.
Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc

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slowpoke
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Re: Deep Thoughts

Post by slowpoke » Thu Dec 14, 2017 1:39 am

“Dark humour is like food





not everybody gets it.”

— Ioseb Jughashvili
"Islam delenda est" Ass-op

Old Grafton
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Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 4:07 am

Re: Deep Thoughts

Post by Old Grafton » Thu Dec 14, 2017 2:35 am

Just because something will be awesome fun does not make it a good idea.
I'm not old--It's too early to be this late.

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Jered
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Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 1:30 am

Re: Deep Thoughts

Post by Jered » Thu Dec 14, 2017 4:46 am

If journalists wanted to earn an honest living, they'd attend law school and take up barristry.
The avalanche has already started. It is too late for the pebbles to vote.

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Odahi
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Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 3:21 am

Re: Deep Thoughts

Post by Odahi » Fri Dec 15, 2017 10:24 pm

Why is it that so many mattress companies' names start with the letter "S"? Sealy, Simmons, Stearns & Foster, Serta, Spring Air...

Also, why do I keep seeing just one shoe/boot discarded on the shoulder of the road? Where's the other one? Are there really that many pirates out there?
Birds gotta swim, fish gotta fly, assholes gotta ass.

"Common sense" is an oxymoron.

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First Shirt
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Re: Deep Thoughts

Post by First Shirt » Sat Dec 16, 2017 12:23 am

Why do we park on a driveway, and drive on a parkway?

Why is there an Interstate highway in Hawaii?

Why is a "fat chance" the same thing as a "slim chance" ?

What happened to WD-1 through -39?

Do dyslexic atheists lay awake at night wondering if there's a Dog?
But there ain't many troubles that a man caint fix, with seven hundred dollars and a thirty ought six."
Lindy Cooper Wisdom

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