A neat joke I just heard.
A 55 year old technician is retrenched. Two weeks later, a machine breaks and no one can fix it. The whole factory grinds to a halt. They bring the technician back as a consultant. He opens the front of the machine, drags a chair up and stares at the innards of the maching all day. At the end of the day, he pulls a piece of chalk out of his pocket, chalks an X on one component and says, "Replace that." They do and the machine works. The technician puts in an unitemized invoice for $50,000. The accounts payable department refuses to pay an unitemized bill, so the technician sends them a second one.
'One chalk mark, $1. Knowing where to put chalk mark, $49,999.'
A Retitred Technician
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A Retitred Technician
When death is inevitable, style counts.
Survival trumps programming.
Survival trumps programming.
- Weetabix
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Re: A Retitred Technician
It's Darrell.
Note to self: start reading sig lines. They're actually quite amusing. :D
- Rich
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Re: A Retitred Technician
Which one?Weetabix wrote:It's Darrell.
A weak government usually remains a servant of citizens, while a strong government usually becomes the master of its subjects.
- paraphrased from several sources
A choice, not an echo. - Goldwater campaign, 1964
- paraphrased from several sources
A choice, not an echo. - Goldwater campaign, 1964
- HTRN
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Re: A Retitred Technician
Ive heard a variation on this, involving a consultant, a hammer, and where to hit the machine.TheArmsman wrote:A neat joke I just heard.
A 55 year old technician is retrenched. Two weeks later, a machine breaks and no one can fix it. The whole factory grinds to a halt. They bring the technician back as a consultant. He opens the front of the machine, drags a chair up and stares at the innards of the maching all day. At the end of the day, he pulls a piece of chalk out of his pocket, chalks an X on one component and says, "Replace that." They do and the machine works. The technician puts in an unitemized invoice for $50,000. The accounts payable department refuses to pay an unitemized bill, so the technician sends them a second one.
'One chalk mark, $1. Knowing where to put chalk mark, $49,999.'
HTRN, I would tell you that you are an evil fucker, but you probably get that a lot ~ Netpackrat
Describing what HTRN does as "antics" is like describing the wreck of the Titanic as "a minor boating incident" ~ First Shirt
Describing what HTRN does as "antics" is like describing the wreck of the Titanic as "a minor boating incident" ~ First Shirt
- MiddleAgedKen
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- Location: Flyover Country
Re: A Retitred Technician
Michener used a variant of it in Chesapeake, when he had the oysterman Turlock (descendant of pirates) pull some wealthy yachties off a mud bank using Eastern Shore ingenuity.
Shop at Traitor Joe's: Just 10% to the Big Guy gets you the whole store and everything in it!
- 308Mike
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Re: A Retitred Technician
It's something today's companies are mostly refusing to pay - and when they do, they want the sky for additional qualifications!!! It's called EXPERIENCE!!!
POLITICIANS & DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON
A person properly schooled in right and wrong is safe with any weapon. A person with no idea of good and evil is unsafe with a knitting needle, or the cap from a ballpoint pen.
I remain pessimistic given the way BATF and the anti gun crowd have become tape worms in the guts of the Republic. - toad
A person properly schooled in right and wrong is safe with any weapon. A person with no idea of good and evil is unsafe with a knitting needle, or the cap from a ballpoint pen.
I remain pessimistic given the way BATF and the anti gun crowd have become tape worms in the guts of the Republic. - toad
- Odahi
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Re: A Retitred Technician
I heard a similar one years ago, about a mechanic. The customer limps in, car barely running. The mechanic listens a moment, pulls a screwdriver from his back pocket, reaches in, and gives a half turn. The car settles down, and starts to purr like a kitten. "How much?" "$75.00" "$75 for turning one screw?" "25 cents to turn the screw. $74.75 for knowing which screw to turn."
Birds gotta swim, fish gotta fly, assholes gotta ass, until the day they die.
"Common sense" is an oxymoron.
"Common sense" is an oxymoron.
- 308Mike
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Re: A Retitred Technician
A couple of years ago I paid a plumber a discounted rate (IN CASH - because CASH is STILL KING) to fix a broken water line in our home. When I asked why so much, he told me it was "$12 for the part, and $300 to know where to put it and seal the rest of the leak" - which I gladly paid at the time (I've since learned more about indoor plumbing since then).Odahi wrote:I heard a similar one years ago, about a mechanic. The customer limps in, car barely running. The mechanic listens a moment, pulls a screwdriver from his back pocket, reaches in, and gives a half turn. The car settles down, and starts to purr like a kitten. "How much?" "$75.00" "$75 for turning one screw?" "25 cents to turn the screw. $74.75 for knowing which screw to turn."
POLITICIANS & DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON
A person properly schooled in right and wrong is safe with any weapon. A person with no idea of good and evil is unsafe with a knitting needle, or the cap from a ballpoint pen.
I remain pessimistic given the way BATF and the anti gun crowd have become tape worms in the guts of the Republic. - toad
A person properly schooled in right and wrong is safe with any weapon. A person with no idea of good and evil is unsafe with a knitting needle, or the cap from a ballpoint pen.
I remain pessimistic given the way BATF and the anti gun crowd have become tape worms in the guts of the Republic. - toad
- Odahi
- Posts: 700
- Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 3:21 am
Re: A Retitred Technician
I just replaced the faucet in our bathroom. The part cost approx. $30. I have tools, and had a tube of silicone adhesive sealant on hand. This is not silicone caulk, this is Good. Stuff. I stuck a medallion to my truck dashboard, and it was a pain to get off, 14 years later. Good. Stuff. Yes, it was a pain crawling on the floor, getting abraded by the sharp edges of the vanity cabinet. But it's a good feeling to be self-sufficient, and to save a little cash, too. This weekend, I'll be replacing the O2 sensors in my truck. As a wise man once said, "Specialization is for insects."
Birds gotta swim, fish gotta fly, assholes gotta ass, until the day they die.
"Common sense" is an oxymoron.
"Common sense" is an oxymoron.
- Steamforger
- Posts: 2785
- Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 5:41 pm
Re: A Retitred Technician
LIKE WELDING ITOdahi wrote:I just replaced the faucet in our bathroom. The part cost approx. $30. I have tools, and had a tube of silicone adhesive sealant on hand. This is not silicone caulk, this is Good. Stuff. I stuck a medallion to my truck dashboard, and it was a pain to get off, 14 years later. Good. Stuff. Yes, it was a pain crawling on the floor, getting abraded by the sharp edges of the vanity cabinet. But it's a good feeling to be self-sufficient, and to save a little cash, too. This weekend, I'll be replacing the O2 sensors in my truck. As a wise man once said, "Specialization is for insects."