When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

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When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby Steamforger » Tue Jun 27, 2017 8:53 pm

When she's trying to kill 300 or so people.

TL;DR- Little old lady flings a handful of change into an airliner engine for "good luck."

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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby Netpackrat » Wed Jun 28, 2017 6:23 am

For fuck's sake.....
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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby skb12172 » Wed Jun 28, 2017 3:47 pm

I got nothin'...
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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby Jericho941 » Fri Jun 30, 2017 1:11 am

They seem to have trouble understanding how planes work over there.

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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby Captain Wheelgun » Fri Jun 30, 2017 8:49 pm

That only works for orcs, and only when they throw a chicken into the tail rotor. :ugeek:
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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby MiddleAgedKen » Sat Jul 01, 2017 1:52 pm

Captain Wheelgun wrote:That only works for orcs, and only when they throw a chicken into the tail rotor. :ugeek:


ISWYDT. 8-)
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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby Wrenchbender1 » Thu Jul 13, 2017 12:33 am

Beating? How about tossing some anti-werewolf medication at her forehead.
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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby Jericho941 » Thu Jul 13, 2017 6:20 am

Now that I've picked up a side job to finance my other activities at (REDACTED), I have to say I wouldn't put this sort of thing past the average American if we still let people enter planes via anything but a weird steerable tube.

And this is accounting for religious/superstitious beliefs, not people who simply do things because they are assholes. It is one thing if someone following a religious edict makes a mess from washing his feet in a sink. It is another thing entirely if he decides he is done with his chaw and discards it in the middle of taking a shower.

Also if you're not going to lift a toilet seat to take a piss, kill yourself.

Seriously. Kill yourself.

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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby Greg » Thu Jul 13, 2017 5:02 pm

Jericho941 wrote:Now that I've picked up a side job to finance my other activities at (REDACTED), I have to say I wouldn't put this sort of thing past the average American if we still let people enter planes via anything but a weird steerable tube.

And this is accounting for religious/superstitious beliefs, not people who simply do things because they are assholes. It is one thing if someone following a religious edict makes a mess from washing his feet in a sink. It is another thing entirely if he decides he is done with his chaw and discards it in the middle of taking a shower.

Also if you're not going to lift a toilet seat to take a piss, kill yourself.

Seriously. Kill yourself.


American levels of pure batshit crazy superstition are NOTHING compared to Asians.

This may amuse you all, but at home I've become something of a sitzpinkler, because of nighttime piss runs. Even without my glasses in total darkness it lets me piss with perfect nothing-to-clean-up-later accuracy.

In a public restroom? I do not lift the seat, because I am not, repeat not, going to touch that seat. Not even with someone else's hands.
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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby MarkD » Thu Jul 13, 2017 5:34 pm

Greg wrote:
Jericho941 wrote:Now that I've picked up a side job to finance my other activities at (REDACTED), I have to say I wouldn't put this sort of thing past the average American if we still let people enter planes via anything but a weird steerable tube.

And this is accounting for religious/superstitious beliefs, not people who simply do things because they are assholes. It is one thing if someone following a religious edict makes a mess from washing his feet in a sink. It is another thing entirely if he decides he is done with his chaw and discards it in the middle of taking a shower.

Also if you're not going to lift a toilet seat to take a piss, kill yourself.

Seriously. Kill yourself.


American levels of pure batshit crazy superstition are NOTHING compared to Asians.

This may amuse you all, but at home I've become something of a sitzpinkler, because of nighttime piss runs. Even without my glasses in total darkness it lets me piss with perfect nothing-to-clean-up-later accuracy.

In a public restroom? I do not lift the seat, because I am not, repeat not, going to touch that seat. Not even with someone else's hands.


We have people at work who obviously don't understand how toilets, and their associated seats, work. I'm pretty sure some people squat with their feet on top of the seat, it's the only explanation for shit on the wall behind the toilet. It's depressing how often I walk into a toilet stall, mutter "How the fuck did you get shit THERE?" and walk back out.

When I'm elected President the citizenship test, and the application for any temporary visas, and even entry to the country as a tourist, will require a working understanding of American plumbing fixtures and their proper usage. Failure will have your nasty ass on the next plane back to where you came from.

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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby Rich » Thu Jul 13, 2017 6:49 pm

OTOH, that is how I "won" the war of the seat that my sisters started when we were growing up. It was leave the seat up, or a sticky seat. 8-)
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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby Jericho941 » Sat Jul 15, 2017 2:06 am

Greg wrote:In a public restroom? I do not lift the seat, because I am not, repeat not, going to touch that seat. Not even with someone else's hands.


So do you go everywhere barefoot or

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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby Jericho941 » Sat Jul 22, 2017 9:38 pm

MarkD wrote:We have people at work who obviously don't understand how toilets, and their associated seats, work. I'm pretty sure some people squat with their feet on top of the seat, it's the only explanation for shit on the wall behind the toilet. It's depressing how often I walk into a toilet stall, mutter "How the fuck did you get shit THERE?" and walk back out.

Yeah, you don't have to be Asian for that.

I think you seriously underestimate the awful ways squeamish people will relieve themselves at others' expense because "eew public toilet (that's way cleaner than the one in my home)".

When I'm elected President the citizenship test, and the application for any temporary visas, and even entry to the country as a tourist, will require a working understanding of American plumbing fixtures and their proper usage. Failure will have your nasty ass on the next plane back to where you came from.

Clearly this needs to be applied to current citizens.
Jericho941 wrote:
Greg wrote:In a public restroom? I do not lift the seat, because I am not, repeat not, going to touch that seat. Not even with someone else's hands.


So do you go everywhere barefoot or

Ha-ha-but-not-really. Can you not lift the seat with your foot?

Because, you see, you are the problem. Everyone too squeamish to sit on something that's been sanitized hourly and hovers, or doesn't lift the seat, or can't be bothered to learn local customs, or otherwise refuses to properly utilize modern plumbing for equally stupid reasons, is the very reason public bathrooms suck.

Are you too good to wash your hands? Kick the seat up. It's bad for the hinges, but fuck it, at least you're not gonna piss on the seat, and do not pretend for an instant ]your own shoe is cleaner than that toilet. If you've been laboring under that delusion I have seriously bad news for you. I have exponentially worse news for you if you've ever eaten a roller grill item.

If you think you're too good to shit in a toilet like a hominin, I don't wanna see anyone who hovers or can't lift a seat recirculating DESIGNATED memes ever again, because clearly they're only fit to shit in the street.

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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby Rich » Sat Jul 22, 2017 11:52 pm

Obviously some on this forum have no idea how explosive the urge to defecate can get. I've had to shit so bad at times it occured while I was bending on the way to sitting. Pretty much explosive and uncontrollable and far reaching.

At least I was civilized enough to either clean up after myself, or if that wasn't possible, let someone know it needed to be done.

I suspect what you are really griping about is the tendency of some to think it's not their job to clean up after themselves. :oops:
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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby MarkD » Mon Jul 24, 2017 2:37 pm

Rich wrote:Obviously some on this forum have no idea how explosive the urge to defecate can get. I've had to shit so bad at times it occured while I was bending on the way to sitting. Pretty much explosive and uncontrollable and far reaching.

At least I was civilized enough to either clean up after myself, or if that wasn't possible, let someone know it needed to be done.

I suspect what you are really griping about is the tendency of some to think it's not their job to clean up after themselves. :oops:


An occasional mess? Sure, I get that. Inside the bowl, on the edge of the seat, and especially when the bathroom users have no access to proper bathroom cleaning supplies like gloves, brushes, etc. But when I walk into the bathroom multiple times a week and find shit in places that God never intended to be shat upon except in the most dire situations (see above, on the wall behind the toilet) either someone doesn't get American plumbing, or the NYC Health Department REALLY needs to take a close look at the local food emporia. Bearing in mind too that I go into the stalls generally once a day, and there are five stalls, so if multiple times a week someone has messed up the stall I happen to walk into, how often has someone done so to a stall I didn't look inside.

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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby MarkD » Mon Jul 24, 2017 2:41 pm

Jericho941 wrote:Ha-ha-but-not-really. Can you not lift the seat with your foot?

Because, you see, you are the problem. Everyone too squeamish to sit on something that's been sanitized hourly and hovers, or doesn't lift the seat, or can't be bothered to learn local customs, or otherwise refuses to properly utilize modern plumbing for equally stupid reasons, is the very reason public bathrooms suck.

Are you too good to wash your hands? Kick the seat up. It's bad for the hinges, but fuck it, at least you're not gonna piss on the seat, and do not pretend for an instant ]your own shoe is cleaner than that toilet. If you've been laboring under that delusion I have seriously bad news for you. I have exponentially worse news for you if you've ever eaten a roller grill item.

If you think you're too good to shit in a toilet like a hominin, I don't wanna see anyone who hovers or can't lift a seat recirculating DESIGNATED memes ever again, because clearly they're only fit to shit in the street.


I had this very discussion with a guy I used to work with. He'd wash (with hand soap and water) and dry the seat before he'd place his pristine behind on it, but he'd never use a urinal, and would never lift the seat when he pissed. Simple, lift seat, no need to worry about sitting in piss. Don't lift seat, seat gets pissed upon and the unsuspecting get a wet ass.

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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby Greg » Mon Jul 24, 2017 8:55 pm

MarkD wrote:
Jericho941 wrote:Ha-ha-but-not-really. Can you not lift the seat with your foot?

Because, you see, you are the problem. Everyone too squeamish to sit on something that's been sanitized hourly and hovers, or doesn't lift the seat, or can't be bothered to learn local customs, or otherwise refuses to properly utilize modern plumbing for equally stupid reasons, is the very reason public bathrooms suck.

Are you too good to wash your hands? Kick the seat up. It's bad for the hinges, but fuck it, at least you're not gonna piss on the seat, and do not pretend for an instant ]your own shoe is cleaner than that toilet. If you've been laboring under that delusion I have seriously bad news for you. I have exponentially worse news for you if you've ever eaten a roller grill item.

If you think you're too good to shit in a toilet like a hominin, I don't wanna see anyone who hovers or can't lift a seat recirculating DESIGNATED memes ever again, because clearly they're only fit to shit in the street.


I had this very discussion with a guy I used to work with. He'd wash (with hand soap and water) and dry the seat before he'd place his pristine behind on it, but he'd never use a urinal, and would never lift the seat when he pissed. Simple, lift seat, no need to worry about sitting in piss. Don't lift seat, seat gets pissed upon and the unsuspecting get a wet ass.


Hee hee. 'Sanitized hourly'. That's right up there with 'no baby I won't come in your mouth', and 'the check is in the mail'.

I don't know what young people do these days, but I don't have intimate contact with my shoes. Basically, you're that lovely combination of credulous and hectoring. Bite me.
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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby Jericho941 » Mon Jul 24, 2017 10:46 pm

Greg wrote:Hee hee. 'Sanitized hourly'. That's right up there with 'no baby I won't come in your mouth', and 'the check is in the mail'.


I'm sorry your place of employment has a lower standard of cleanliness than any random truck stop.

I don't know what young people do these days, but I don't have intimate contact with my shoes.


Okay, so, again, why are you too cowardly to move a seat up with your foot?

Basically, you're that lovely combination of credulous and hectoring.


Or perhaps I am someone who, in the course of his adult life, has both used and cleaned toilets in his workplace, and is simply sick of cowardly pissants shitting and pissing all over the bathroom instead of actually in the toilet.

Bite me.

It is both amusing and insulting that you think that I would have oral contact with someone who doesn't know how to operate a toilet.

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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby randy » Tue Jul 25, 2017 2:41 am

Caution Flag here guys.
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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby Netpackrat » Tue Jul 25, 2017 3:56 am

I was thinking more along the lines of haven't they got something better to argue about?
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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby Steamforger » Tue Jul 25, 2017 8:11 pm

Netpackrat wrote:I was thinking more along the lines of haven't they got something better to argue about?


I'd abandoned the thread some time ago. I only popped back in to check your comment. I found it, as I usually do, in line with my own thinking.

Why the flinging of change turned into the flinging of poo I can't say. Ironically, I'd expect a turd flung into a engine wouldn't be the *worst* thing imaginable. Probably better than a brick anyway....

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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby Greg » Tue Jul 25, 2017 8:41 pm

Netpackrat wrote:I was thinking more along the lines of haven't they got something better to argue about?


I think we're just bored or something.
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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby Weetabix » Tue Jul 25, 2017 8:49 pm

It is a situation that gets some people's dander up, though.

Weet's rules for public bathroom use:
- kick the seat up, or pick it up with a handful of TP before you do your standing business
- look before you sit
- wipe it down before you sit, just in case
- lay down some TP as a prophylactic barrier if necessary
- if that's not enough, move on

I kinda figure wiping the seat will usually take care of it. After all, my ass has been in contact with my ass all day. Just how fastidious can my ass reasonably be? :ugeek:

ETA: I hadn't been back to this thread in a while either. My, but we digress.
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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby Rich » Tue Jul 25, 2017 9:52 pm

For the good of humanity, I accept all blame. :mrgreen:
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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby Netpackrat » Wed Jul 26, 2017 7:08 am

Steamforger wrote:Why the flinging of change turned into the flinging of poo I can't say. Ironically, I'd expect a turd flung into a engine wouldn't be the *worst* thing imaginable. Probably better than a brick anyway....


Unless you are A) standing behind it and it is running at the time, or B) you are the guy who has to inspect and/or clean the engine afterwards.
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Re: When is it ok to beat a little old lady?

Postby Greg » Wed Jul 26, 2017 4:23 pm

Weetabix wrote:It is a situation that gets some people's dander up, though.

Weet's rules for public bathroom use:
- kick the seat up, or pick it up with a handful of TP before you do your standing business
- look before you sit
- wipe it down before you sit, just in case
- lay down some TP as a prophylactic barrier if necessary
- if that's not enough, move on

I kinda figure wiping the seat will usually take care of it. After all, my ass has been in contact with my ass all day. Just how fastidious can my ass reasonably be? :ugeek:

ETA: I hadn't been back to this thread in a while either. My, but we digress.


It's funny. At my last job, I would occasionally wind up cleaning the bathroom myself, at least in some small ways. At least for the bathroom that was nearest my desk, that was tucked away in a relatively low traffic area, that was 'ours'. That one, I'd help out.

Now, 'public' bathrooms - that covers a lot. You forget where I grew up, and when. Imagine, say, a restroom in a NYC subway station, open to the public, in the late 70's. It's OK, I'll wait while you go puke. You pee there, you DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING.

Or then moving to Boston. Cosmopolitan town, lots of foreign students. Some nasty, nasty bathrooms. Better to piss in the alley between stores while walking home from the bar.

Though I have to say, the single most horrific public restroom I ever saw was in a highway rest stop bathroom, and only a few years ago. IIRC, it was in Indiana off I70. The toilet seat was covered in shit, like a cake covered in frosting. Good luck with your pro hackysack moves there, unless you want an excuse to throw those shoes away. I'll just piss and move on, touching NOTHING.

But some people hafta scold. I occasionally get in that mood myself, so I understand. Nothing personal. Bite me is an endearment, what I say to family or friends who are being a pest. ;)
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