The alien checks out the Pyramids.

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The alien checks out the Pyramids.

Postby toad » Fri Nov 06, 2015 6:41 pm

"Oh Mighty Pharaoh, there is a problem with the pyramids." , "What pray tell, is the angle wrong?" , "Nay magnificent one, the angles are well within tolerance.", Then they are not the right height?" , No Oh beloved by the Gods, the height is very good indeed." , "Then what could possibly be the problem." , " Oh Mighty one, your servants have failed you. The Sky Master anuses are round and the pyramids have been built square in cross section."
"Oh dear, I see one engaging now. Warn him off! SQREEEEEEEEEE, Oops, too late."
"There goes our ISO rating."

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dfwmtx
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Re: The alien checks out the Pyramids.

Postby dfwmtx » Thu Nov 12, 2015 10:46 pm

Image

Image
"Arms are honor; slaves have neither."

"I am Chaos, I am alive...and I tell you that you are free!" -Eris Discordia

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Re: The alien checks out the Pyramids.

Postby toad » Thu Nov 12, 2015 11:26 pm

The pyramids were not for plugging but for drainage assistance. The Sky Gods had to keep it tight to keep from blowing their guts out in the vacuum of Space.
The warm spots they are finding in the pyramids were chambers for the storage of radioactive poo.
As it is translated by the great Whu Flung Dung.
Last edited by toad on Fri Nov 13, 2015 2:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: The alien checks out the Pyramids.

Postby Jered » Fri Nov 13, 2015 1:25 am

dfwmtx wrote:Image

Image


Ok...I literally laughed out loud at that!
The avalanche has already started. It is too late for the pebbles to vote.

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Re: The alien checks out the Pyramids.

Postby toad » Fri Nov 13, 2015 3:58 am

"Solar Wind Blows Gas Away From Mars." from Instapundit. "There's a fart joke in there somewhere."
See the Pyramids saved us.

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Re: The alien checks out the Pyramids.

Postby dfwmtx » Fri Nov 13, 2015 7:09 pm

toad wrote:The pyramids were not for plugging but for drainage assistance. The Sky Gods had to keep it tight to keep from blowing their guts out in the vacuum of Space.
The warm spots they are finding in the pyramids were chambers for the storage of radioactive poo.
As it is translated by the great Whu Flung Dung.


The conclusions reached by Chinese Egyptologist Whu Flung Dung are not always evident. You need to look for the work of the German duo, Braun-Pantz to find signs of what happened.

Apparently the Sky Gods use craft that fling out radioactive poo as a source of propulsion akin to how an ion drive works. The pyramids were for plugging, otherwise when the Sky Gods landed all the radioactive poo fuel would leak out and pollute the Nile delta. The chambers were collection for the excess fuel that builds up inside the ships.

Apparently the aliens told their human go-betweens that the Sky Gods preferred some differences. Hence why the central American pyramids are stepped. Sometimes the aliens preferred their pyramids ribbed for their pleasure as opposed to smooth.
"Arms are honor; slaves have neither."

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Re: The alien checks out the Pyramids.

Postby MarkD » Fri Nov 13, 2015 7:57 pm

This thread has gotten disturbing, even by our standards.....

Not that we HAVE standards of course.

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Re: The alien checks out the Pyramids.

Postby dfwmtx » Fri Nov 13, 2015 8:09 pm

Aliens and toilet humor aren't the usual combination for this board. However, this is pretty standard for me as a SubGenius. We've been dealing with this kind of thing since humans migrated out of Africa and our Yeti ancestors looking down from their perches on Shangri-La and said to themselves "there goes the neighborhood".
"Arms are honor; slaves have neither."

"I am Chaos, I am alive...and I tell you that you are free!" -Eris Discordia

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Re: The alien checks out the Pyramids.

Postby toad » Fri Nov 13, 2015 8:42 pm

Well the radioactive poo excess could explain a suspected mutation that led to a expansion of civilization in Egypt from that time period.
I suspect a disturbance in the farce.
The Church of the Subgenius and its search for "Slack" has led to a number theories opposed to convention. Their discovery of the "Fighting Jesus" image using a submachine gun to purge the temple is once such controversy. Some suspect a farce in the disturbance.
The Sod-o-matic Impulse suspected of the Sky Gods could have resulted in a harmful mutation rate and bizarre religious practices around the stepped Pyramids of Latin America. As the ancient Geeks have said, Moderation in Uhhhhmmm and avoid excessive Sgreeeee.

Mesopotamia seems to be a special case. They built by steps then put in filler to smooth out the steps. However erosion from weather or Sky God butts led to Ziggurats that were risky and vile, vile, Rimon, who could make you go crazy, who could drive you insane, at least according to Ferdinand Feghoot who claimed time travel.
http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/BookDetailsPL?bi=12677788207&searchurl=tn=through%20time%20space%20ferdinand%20feghoot
Hamurabi had a message on one clay tablet that translates as, "What is that smell?"

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Re: The alien checks out the Pyramids.

Postby dfwmtx » Fri Nov 13, 2015 10:15 pm

You do know that one of the lesser codes of Hammurabi was "Whoever smelt it dealt it" right? It's kinda like the 11th-20th commandments that Moses left on top of Mt. Sinai, because the tablets were too heavy to carry and Moses had a bad back, and he promised to God he'd come back and get them, but then he forgot about them after the whole brouhaha when he returned to camp. Alas, in the case of the lesser-known Codes of Hammurabi, a gentleman archaeologist in the Victorian era with particularly bad halitosis took exception to this rule, and tried to blot it from history. Fortunately for us, the Cryptoarchaeology Department at Miskatonic U (Good ol' Cthulh-U!) managed to piece the broken shards of pottery back together.

All this advanced alien technology, and all the visitors did was show the humans how to make galvanic cell batteries and crude arc lights.. Those humans along the Nile go E-gypt.
"Arms are honor; slaves have neither."

"I am Chaos, I am alive...and I tell you that you are free!" -Eris Discordia

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Re: The alien checks out the Pyramids.

Postby toad » Fri Nov 13, 2015 11:38 pm

dfwmtx wrote:You do know that one of the lesser codes of Hammurabi was "Whoever smelt it dealt it" right? It's kinda like the 11th-20th commandments that Moses left on top of Mt. Sinai, because the tablets were too heavy to carry and Moses had a bad back, and he promised to God he'd come back and get them, but then he forgot about them after the whole brouhaha when he returned to camp. Alas, in the case of the lesser-known Codes of Hammurabi, a gentleman archaeologist in the Victorian era with particularly bad halitosis took exception to this rule, and tried to blot it from history. Fortunately for us, the Cryptoarchaeology Department at Miskatonic U (Good ol' Cthulh-U!) managed to piece the broken shards of pottery back together.

All this advanced alien technology, and all the visitors did was show the humans how to make galvanic cell batteries and crude arc lights.. Those humans along the Nile go E-gypt.

:lol:

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Re: The alien checks out the Pyramids.

Postby toad » Tue Nov 17, 2015 2:26 am

Short round pointed green pyramid left on White House lawn. Clay tablet states in ancient Gaelic, "trainer model, don't fook with the Mob."

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Re: The alien checks out the Pyramids.

Postby dfwmtx » Tue Nov 17, 2015 7:18 pm

Ah, the space Irish....
Image

There's a great documentary out about them, narrated by the late, great, unheralded acting genius and stuntman Dennis Hopper.

One of the things I learned at my time at Miskatonic U. was how El-Ron Hubbard was actually accessing genetic memories when he came up with the Xenu mythos for his science fiction writing. During Hubbard's time in Pasadena at the home of American rocketry pioneer & occultist Jack Parsons, Hubbard learned you could stimulate creativity and other psychic abilities by accessing the pineal gland inside your brain. However, Hubbard had a tendency to write things down wrong (Hubbard's horrible transcriptions of Parson's chemistry note is what led to Parson's demise in a chemical explosion) so he wrote down "anal" instead of "pineal" ("Something that ends with an 'al'; it's all the same", he's reported to have said). So with the help of a bottle of Jameson, Parson's wife, and a jar of Vaseline, one night El-Ron fell into an eroto-comatose lucid state, and millennia of genetic memories were unlocked from his DNA. El-Ron however got some details wrong -as usual- and started attributing it all to Xenu instead of the Unix computer platform, and mixing up innocent volcanoes, and his own personal racism against the Douglas Aircraft Company into the mix.
What was revealed to him today does not seem shocking to us since it's a theory promoted by sociological scholar Seth MacFarlane (forward to 1 minute mark), but back int eh 1950's such a revelation was shocking! Ireland was once an advanced alien civilization which colonized the Earth thanks to trans-dimensional gateways, controlled by the Irish innate psychic powers. They were a wise, peaceful people, living in ecological harmony with whatever habitat suited them. However, they were brought down by evil outside forces. These forces fed them poison, which made them loose their psychic powers and intelligence, and introduced brainwashing mind-control which made them forget their history, their origins, their abilities, and which harnessed them to evil outside powers.
However, the Irish are starting to see the return of their greatness again. It turns out the Evil Conspiracy mind control rays found in both your television and your Internet counter the poisons and the mind-control the Irish have previously experienced. Some Irish are now able to harness their psychic abilities and use the teleportation gates again. However, it does no good to simply have them out in the open, in wilderness areas like they once were. The Irish have learned to conceal them in Irish pubs. Why do you think you can find an Irish pub in almost every major city in every country in the world? It's part of their transportation network. J.K. Rowling was only partially clued in to this, as she was once in an Irish pub and ordered a non-alcoholic drink, which is the secret signal to tell the bartender "hey, I need to use your warp gate". She saw someone come through before the Irish figured out she wasn't one of them. SO that's how the Floo network got into the Harry Potter series.

When Irish eyes are conspiring to kill me for these comments....
"Arms are honor; slaves have neither."

"I am Chaos, I am alive...and I tell you that you are free!" -Eris Discordia


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