The alien checks out the Pyramids.

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Re: The alien checks out the Pyramids.

Post by toad » Fri Nov 13, 2015 10:38 pm

dfwmtx wrote:You do know that one of the lesser codes of Hammurabi was "Whoever smelt it dealt it" right? It's kinda like the 11th-20th commandments that Moses left on top of Mt. Sinai, because the tablets were too heavy to carry and Moses had a bad back, and he promised to God he'd come back and get them, but then he forgot about them after the whole brouhaha when he returned to camp. Alas, in the case of the lesser-known Codes of Hammurabi, a gentleman archaeologist in the Victorian era with particularly bad halitosis took exception to this rule, and tried to blot it from history. Fortunately for us, the Cryptoarchaeology Department at Miskatonic U (Good ol' Cthulh-U!) managed to piece the broken shards of pottery back together.

All this advanced alien technology, and all the visitors did was show the humans how to make galvanic cell batteries and crude arc lights.. Those humans along the Nile go E-gypt.

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Re: The alien checks out the Pyramids.

Post by toad » Tue Nov 17, 2015 1:26 am

Short round pointed green pyramid left on White House lawn. Clay tablet states in ancient Gaelic, "trainer model, don't fook with the Mob."

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Re: The alien checks out the Pyramids.

Post by dfwmtx » Tue Nov 17, 2015 6:18 pm

Ah, the space Irish....

There's a great documentary out about them, narrated by the late, great, unheralded acting genius and stuntman Dennis Hopper.

One of the things I learned at my time at Miskatonic U. was how El-Ron Hubbard was actually accessing genetic memories when he came up with the Xenu mythos for his science fiction writing. During Hubbard's time in Pasadena at the home of American rocketry pioneer & occultist Jack Parsons, Hubbard learned you could stimulate creativity and other psychic abilities by accessing the pineal gland inside your brain. However, Hubbard had a tendency to write things down wrong (Hubbard's horrible transcriptions of Parson's chemistry note is what led to Parson's demise in a chemical explosion) so he wrote down "anal" instead of "pineal" ("Something that ends with an 'al'; it's all the same", he's reported to have said). So with the help of a bottle of Jameson, Parson's wife, and a jar of Vaseline, one night El-Ron fell into an eroto-comatose lucid state, and millennia of genetic memories were unlocked from his DNA. El-Ron however got some details wrong -as usual- and started attributing it all to Xenu instead of the Unix computer platform, and mixing up innocent volcanoes, and his own personal racism against the Douglas Aircraft Company into the mix.
What was revealed to him today does not seem shocking to us since it's a theory promoted by sociological scholar Seth MacFarlane (forward to 1 minute mark), but back int eh 1950's such a revelation was shocking! Ireland was once an advanced alien civilization which colonized the Earth thanks to trans-dimensional gateways, controlled by the Irish innate psychic powers. They were a wise, peaceful people, living in ecological harmony with whatever habitat suited them. However, they were brought down by evil outside forces. These forces fed them poison, which made them loose their psychic powers and intelligence, and introduced brainwashing mind-control which made them forget their history, their origins, their abilities, and which harnessed them to evil outside powers.
However, the Irish are starting to see the return of their greatness again. It turns out the Evil Conspiracy mind control rays found in both your television and your Internet counter the poisons and the mind-control the Irish have previously experienced. Some Irish are now able to harness their psychic abilities and use the teleportation gates again. However, it does no good to simply have them out in the open, in wilderness areas like they once were. The Irish have learned to conceal them in Irish pubs. Why do you think you can find an Irish pub in almost every major city in every country in the world? It's part of their transportation network. J.K. Rowling was only partially clued in to this, as she was once in an Irish pub and ordered a non-alcoholic drink, which is the secret signal to tell the bartender "hey, I need to use your warp gate". She saw someone come through before the Irish figured out she wasn't one of them. SO that's how the Floo network got into the Harry Potter series.

When Irish eyes are conspiring to kill me for these comments....
"Arms are honor; slaves have neither."

"I am Chaos, I am alive...and I tell you that you are free!" -Eris Discordia

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