Guncounter Game: Colonizing Gliese 581e

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JAG2955
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Guncounter Game: Colonizing Gliese 581e

Post by JAG2955 » Thu Nov 05, 2015 11:59 pm

Just like our Crossing America/Europe/wherever. This one is designed to be more fun.

Turns out there's extraterrestrial life. And they love TV. So, the Intergalactic Broadcasting Company has decided to make a series based off the success of Earth reality shows. The IBC has determined that members of The Gun Counter forum will lead themselves and nine celebrities of that person's choosing in order to set up colony infrastructure on Gliese 581e.

Gliese 581e (I'm assuming it exists), has a lovely temperate climate, similar to South California. Galactic Engineering has re-set the gravity to Earth-norm. There are local edible flora and fauna, and you will be dropped off for a one year stay. You and your celebrity cast will be supplied with 30 days of rations, tents, hand-held equipment and tools, a set of small tractors/cranes, and pre-fabricated buildings. The IBC will supply you with the latest hand-held adjustable-velocity rail guns for hunting and defense, so for once we won't be talking about guns, knives, and dogs.

The rules:
-You must select 9 living celebrities to be teleported with you. If you refuse to go, the Intergalactic Judicial Council will turn the population of Earth's puppies into spiders or some such nonsense. We'll define "celebrities" as those who have been on TV for education or entertainment purposes.
-Immediate protection is provided by a pre-fabricated set of walls. Adjustable velocity rail guns will be supplied for defense and forage.
-Once a celebrity has been signed on for two "seasons" by being selected by members, he or she is then off limits for the remainder of the reality series.
-Physical labor is a necessity, no robots are provided, but Galactic Motors has supplied several tractors and cranes.
-No politicians are allowed. The desire to hamstring them and leave them for local predators was deemed too strong by Intergalactic TV censors.


Have fun. Make good selections. If you want to choose the top 9 Miss America contestants, you are free to do so. Just hope that they have some useful skills, or Earth will watch you all starve on the IBC network. You can also pick 9 eggheads and provide no humor value to this thread.

I will post my selections later today or tomorrow to ensure that myself and the first poster don't take all of the good ones. 8-)

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Netpackrat
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Re: Guncounter Game: Colonizing Gliese 581e

Post by Netpackrat » Fri Nov 06, 2015 12:29 am

Meh. Turn the puppies into spiders. Then nobody will complain when I squash all of them.
Cognosce teipsum et disce pati

"People come and go in our lives, especially the online ones. Some leave a fond memory, and some a bad taste." -Aesop

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JAG2955
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Re: Guncounter Game: Colonizing Gliese 581e

Post by JAG2955 » Fri Nov 06, 2015 12:49 am

Netpackrat wrote:Meh. Turn the puppies into spiders. Then nobody will complain when I squash all of them.
Your companions have now been chosen for you. Your attempted colony will be composed of:

Yourself
-The cast of The View (Whoopie Goldberg, Sherri Shepherd, Joy Behar, and Barbara Walters). No Elizabeth Hasselbeck, she's too attractive for your season
-Adam Sandler
-Pauly Shore
-Charlie Sheen
-Seth MacFarlane
-Roseanne Barr

Station execs predict a bad season for you.

Greg
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Re: Guncounter Game: Colonizing Gliese 581e

Post by Greg » Fri Nov 06, 2015 1:31 am

So the game is to pick the 9 hottest chicks from TV and movies to serially impregnate?

Or am I missing something?
Maybe we're just jaded, but your villainy is not particularly impressive. -Ennesby

If you know what you're doing, you're not learning anything. -Unknown
Sanity is the process by which you continually adjust your beliefs so they are predictively sound. -esr

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Netpackrat
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Re: Guncounter Game: Colonizing Gliese 581e

Post by Netpackrat » Fri Nov 06, 2015 1:33 am

JAG2955 wrote:
Netpackrat wrote:Meh. Turn the puppies into spiders. Then nobody will complain when I squash all of them.
Your companions have now been chosen for you. Your attempted colony will be composed of:

Yourself
-The cast of The View (Whoopie Goldberg, Sherri Shepherd, Joy Behar, and Barbara Walters). No Elizabeth Hasselbeck, she's too attractive for your season
-Adam Sandler
-Pauly Shore
-Charlie Sheen
-Seth MacFarlane
-Roseanne Barr

Station execs predict a bad season for you.
Excellent. I have wanted to kill each of those people for a long time, and I'm pretty sure I can figure out how a rail gun works faster than any of them.
Cognosce teipsum et disce pati

"People come and go in our lives, especially the online ones. Some leave a fond memory, and some a bad taste." -Aesop

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Weetabix
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Re: Guncounter Game: Colonizing Gliese 581e

Post by Weetabix » Fri Nov 06, 2015 1:42 am

I'll play:

1. Norm Abrahms (he can build anything by himself)
2. Nathan Fillion (he makes me laugh)
3. Chris Jacobs (don't know much about him but I bet he can fix machines)
4. My wife (she was on the news once)
5. Jamie Durie (Victory Garden)
6. Chuck Norris (protection)
7. Clint Eastwood (just because)
8. Tom Magliozzi
9. Ray Magliozzi
Note to self: start reading sig lines. They're actually quite amusing. :D

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JAG2955
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Re: Guncounter Game: Colonizing Gliese 581e

Post by JAG2955 » Fri Nov 06, 2015 2:00 am

Greg wrote:So the game is to pick the 9 hottest chicks from TV and movies to serially impregnate?

Or am I missing something?
Well, if you're single, that's a method.

You're just building the infrastructure. People will be deposited later.

Fine, here's my chance to rescue this failing thread:

-Adam Baldwin, The Gun Counter's favorite actor. Libertarian, physically fit, and my kind of humor.
-Alton Brown, to cook all of the exotic flora and fauna. He's also a major gun guy in disguise.
-Jamie Hyneman, but not Adam. Jamie seems very mission-oriented.
-Dolph Lundgren, one of the secretly smartest celebrities (?)
-Jay Leno, fixer of equipment
-Gary Sinise, for music. I understand he's willing to be called Lt Dan to his face. I would do that at every opportunity.
-Mike Rowe. He can do the dirty jobs. In fact, he'd probably be the real motivator.
-Tricia Helfer, grew up on a farm and eye candy.
-Katee Sackhoff, eye candy

I am a faithful and married man, but that doesn't make me blind. :lol:

Greg
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Re: Guncounter Game: Colonizing Gliese 581e

Post by Greg » Fri Nov 06, 2015 2:04 am

The thread title says 'colonize'. Implies necessary population growth. ;)
Maybe we're just jaded, but your villainy is not particularly impressive. -Ennesby

If you know what you're doing, you're not learning anything. -Unknown
Sanity is the process by which you continually adjust your beliefs so they are predictively sound. -esr

Greg
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Re: Guncounter Game: Colonizing Gliese 581e

Post by Greg » Fri Nov 06, 2015 2:06 am

Weetabix wrote:I'll play:

1. Norm Abrahms (he can build anything by himself)
2. Nathan Fillion (he makes me laugh)
3. Chris Jacobs (don't know much about him but I bet he can fix machines)
4. My wife (she was on the news once)
5. Jamie Durie (Victory Garden)
6. Chuck Norris (protection)
7. Clint Eastwood (just because)
8. Tom Magliozzi
9. Ray Magliozzi
Tom died just over a year ago.
Maybe we're just jaded, but your villainy is not particularly impressive. -Ennesby

If you know what you're doing, you're not learning anything. -Unknown
Sanity is the process by which you continually adjust your beliefs so they are predictively sound. -esr

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JAG2955
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Re: Guncounter Game: Colonizing Gliese 581e

Post by JAG2955 » Fri Nov 06, 2015 2:11 am

Greg wrote:The thread title says 'colonize'. Implies necessary population growth. ;)
It's not prohibited, either. 8-)

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