I thought it was time we punned, so here goes:
Patricia Mack is a loan officer at a bank. One day a frog comes in, introduces himself as Kermit Jagger, explains that Mick Jagger is his father, and says he'd like a loan to make improvements to his pond. When asked what collateral he had to offer, he handed her a small ceramic elephant.
Ms. Mack had no idea what to do, so she went to the bank manager and told him the story, ending with "...and he gave me this thing as collateral, I don't even know what it is!" The bank manager replied: "It's a knick-knack, Patty Mack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
Puns
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Cybrludite
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- Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 9:13 am
Re: Puns
Brad Pitt went back to his hometown specifically to eat at the diner he used to work at before he became famous. He ordered the Eggs Benedict, which was his favorite thing on their menu. To his surprise, it was brought out on a big old-fashioned shiny hubcap. When he asked why that was, the waitress told him, "There's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."
"If it ain't the Devil's Music, you ain't doin' it right." - Chris Thomas King
"When liberal democracies collapse, someone comes along who promises to make the trains run on time if we load the right people into them." - Tam K.
"When liberal democracies collapse, someone comes along who promises to make the trains run on time if we load the right people into them." - Tam K.
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Greg
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Re: Puns
<rat>DIE, Pastis!</rat>MarkD wrote:I thought it was time we punned, so here goes:
Patricia Mack is a loan officer at a bank. One day a frog comes in, introduces himself as Kermit Jagger, explains that Mick Jagger is his father, and says he'd like a loan to make improvements to his pond. When asked what collateral he had to offer, he handed her a small ceramic elephant.
Ms. Mack had no idea what to do, so she went to the bank manager and told him the story, ending with "...and he gave me this thing as collateral, I don't even know what it is!" The bank manager replied: "It's a knick-knack, Patty Mack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
Maybe we're just jaded, but your villainy is not particularly impressive. -Ennesby
If you know what you're doing, you're not learning anything. -Unknown
Sanity is the process by which you continually adjust your beliefs so they are predictively sound. -esr
If you know what you're doing, you're not learning anything. -Unknown
Sanity is the process by which you continually adjust your beliefs so they are predictively sound. -esr
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Weetabix
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Re: Puns
A guy walks into an outdoor store looking for a compass.
The clerk says, "We recommend the Weetabix compass. It's durable and accurate, plus it has a lifetime warranty."
The guy is a bit put off by the expense of that model, so after perusing the wares on offer, he points to a $5 compass. "What do you think of this Tates compass?"
The clerk says, "I wouldn't recommend it."
"Why not?"
"Well, you know what they say," replied the clerk. "He who has a Tates is lost."
The clerk says, "We recommend the Weetabix compass. It's durable and accurate, plus it has a lifetime warranty."
The guy is a bit put off by the expense of that model, so after perusing the wares on offer, he points to a $5 compass. "What do you think of this Tates compass?"
The clerk says, "I wouldn't recommend it."
"Why not?"
"Well, you know what they say," replied the clerk. "He who has a Tates is lost."
Note to self: start reading sig lines. They're actually quite amusing. :D
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randy
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Re: Puns
[checking the rules. There's GOT to be something in there that allows me to use the Ban Hammer on this thread]
...even before I read MHI, my response to seeing a poster for the stars of the latest Twilight movies was "I see 2 targets and a collaborator".
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cu74
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Re: Puns
Just pretend you're a Democrat and make up the rulerandy wrote:[checking the rules. There's GOT to be something in there that allows me to use the Ban Hammer on this thread]
Please!Jim Dozier - Straight, but not narrow...
“A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition.” - Rudyard Kipling.
“A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition.” - Rudyard Kipling.
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Weetabix
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Re: Puns
Well... you may be right...randy wrote:[checking the rules. There's GOT to be something in there that allows me to use the Ban Hammer on this thread]
Rule No. 2 says "No popular revolutions" and if people enjoy this word spinning, we're clearly violating that.
On the other hand, I can't seem to stop myself from putting all the good puns in a single volume. That seems to be in compliance with Rule 5: "Leave your pathology a tome."
If you just think puns stink, you could resort to a different Ban Hammer.
Note to self: start reading sig lines. They're actually quite amusing. :D
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Aegis
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Re: Puns
Everyone always asks me where the name Oregon comes from. Some think it's an old Indian word; others believe it's a bastardization of a French word caused by someone reading a map wrong. The truth is really far simpler than that. You see, Lewis and Clark merely lost a canoe paddle on their trip down the Columbia River.
Chicks dig fixed bayonets
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Cybrludite
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Re: Puns
And now a brief commercial break. This thread is sponsored by...
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"If it ain't the Devil's Music, you ain't doin' it right." - Chris Thomas King
"When liberal democracies collapse, someone comes along who promises to make the trains run on time if we load the right people into them." - Tam K.
"When liberal democracies collapse, someone comes along who promises to make the trains run on time if we load the right people into them." - Tam K.
