A Retitred Technician

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TheArmsman
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A Retitred Technician

Post by TheArmsman » Wed Oct 11, 2017 4:53 pm

A neat joke I just heard.

A 55 year old technician is retrenched. Two weeks later, a machine breaks and no one can fix it. The whole factory grinds to a halt. They bring the technician back as a consultant. He opens the front of the machine, drags a chair up and stares at the innards of the maching all day. At the end of the day, he pulls a piece of chalk out of his pocket, chalks an X on one component and says, "Replace that." They do and the machine works. The technician puts in an unitemized invoice for $50,000. The accounts payable department refuses to pay an unitemized bill, so the technician sends them a second one.

'One chalk mark, $1. Knowing where to put chalk mark, $49,999.'
When death is inevitable, style counts.

Survival trumps programming.

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Weetabix
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Re: A Retitred Technician

Post by Weetabix » Wed Oct 11, 2017 6:45 pm

It's Darrell. :D
Note to self: start reading sig lines. They're actually quite amusing. :D

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Rich
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Re: A Retitred Technician

Post by Rich » Wed Oct 11, 2017 9:50 pm

Weetabix wrote:It's Darrell. :D
Which one? :lol:
A weak government usually remains a servant of citizens, while a strong government usually becomes the master of its subjects.
- paraphrased from several sources

A choice, not an echo. - Goldwater campaign, 1964

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HTRN
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Re: A Retitred Technician

Post by HTRN » Fri Oct 13, 2017 8:31 am

TheArmsman wrote:A neat joke I just heard.

A 55 year old technician is retrenched. Two weeks later, a machine breaks and no one can fix it. The whole factory grinds to a halt. They bring the technician back as a consultant. He opens the front of the machine, drags a chair up and stares at the innards of the maching all day. At the end of the day, he pulls a piece of chalk out of his pocket, chalks an X on one component and says, "Replace that." They do and the machine works. The technician puts in an unitemized invoice for $50,000. The accounts payable department refuses to pay an unitemized bill, so the technician sends them a second one.

'One chalk mark, $1. Knowing where to put chalk mark, $49,999.'
Ive heard a variation on this, involving a consultant, a hammer, and where to hit the machine.
HTRN, I would tell you that you are an evil fucker, but you probably get that a lot ~ Netpackrat

Describing what HTRN does as "antics" is like describing the wreck of the Titanic as "a minor boating incident" ~ First Shirt

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MiddleAgedKen
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Location: Flyover Country

Re: A Retitred Technician

Post by MiddleAgedKen » Sun Oct 15, 2017 4:48 am

Michener used a variant of it in Chesapeake, when he had the oysterman Turlock (descendant of pirates) pull some wealthy yachties off a mud bank using Eastern Shore ingenuity.
Watergate didn't have a body count.

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308Mike
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Re: A Retitred Technician

Post by 308Mike » Sun Oct 15, 2017 6:15 am

It's something today's companies are mostly refusing to pay - and when they do, they want the sky for additional qualifications!!! It's called EXPERIENCE!!! ;) ;) ;)
POLITICIANS & DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON

A person properly schooled in right and wrong is safe with any weapon. A person with no idea of good and evil is unsafe with a knitting needle, or the cap from a ballpoint pen.

I remain pessimistic given the way BATF and the anti gun crowd have become tape worms in the guts of the Republic. - toad

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Odahi
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Re: A Retitred Technician

Post by Odahi » Sun Oct 15, 2017 11:55 pm

I heard a similar one years ago, about a mechanic. The customer limps in, car barely running. The mechanic listens a moment, pulls a screwdriver from his back pocket, reaches in, and gives a half turn. The car settles down, and starts to purr like a kitten. "How much?" "$75.00" "$75 for turning one screw?" "25 cents to turn the screw. $74.75 for knowing which screw to turn."
Birds gotta swim, fish gotta fly, assholes gotta ass.

"Common sense" is an oxymoron.

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308Mike
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Re: A Retitred Technician

Post by 308Mike » Mon Oct 16, 2017 2:39 am

Odahi wrote:I heard a similar one years ago, about a mechanic. The customer limps in, car barely running. The mechanic listens a moment, pulls a screwdriver from his back pocket, reaches in, and gives a half turn. The car settles down, and starts to purr like a kitten. "How much?" "$75.00" "$75 for turning one screw?" "25 cents to turn the screw. $74.75 for knowing which screw to turn."
A couple of years ago I paid a plumber a discounted rate (IN CASH - because CASH is STILL KING) to fix a broken water line in our home. When I asked why so much, he told me it was "$12 for the part, and $300 to know where to put it and seal the rest of the leak" - which I gladly paid at the time (I've since learned more about indoor plumbing since then). :D :D :D
POLITICIANS & DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON

A person properly schooled in right and wrong is safe with any weapon. A person with no idea of good and evil is unsafe with a knitting needle, or the cap from a ballpoint pen.

I remain pessimistic given the way BATF and the anti gun crowd have become tape worms in the guts of the Republic. - toad

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Odahi
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Re: A Retitred Technician

Post by Odahi » Wed Oct 18, 2017 9:31 pm

I just replaced the faucet in our bathroom. The part cost approx. $30. I have tools, and had a tube of silicone adhesive sealant on hand. This is not silicone caulk, this is Good. Stuff. I stuck a medallion to my truck dashboard, and it was a pain to get off, 14 years later. Good. Stuff. Yes, it was a pain crawling on the floor, getting abraded by the sharp edges of the vanity cabinet. But it's a good feeling to be self-sufficient, and to save a little cash, too. This weekend, I'll be replacing the O2 sensors in my truck. As a wise man once said, "Specialization is for insects."
Birds gotta swim, fish gotta fly, assholes gotta ass.

"Common sense" is an oxymoron.

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Steamforger
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Re: A Retitred Technician

Post by Steamforger » Thu Oct 19, 2017 3:01 am

Odahi wrote:I just replaced the faucet in our bathroom. The part cost approx. $30. I have tools, and had a tube of silicone adhesive sealant on hand. This is not silicone caulk, this is Good. Stuff. I stuck a medallion to my truck dashboard, and it was a pain to get off, 14 years later. Good. Stuff. Yes, it was a pain crawling on the floor, getting abraded by the sharp edges of the vanity cabinet. But it's a good feeling to be self-sufficient, and to save a little cash, too. This weekend, I'll be replacing the O2 sensors in my truck. As a wise man once said, "Specialization is for insects."
LIKE WELDING IT

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