A Retitred Technician

Keep it clean people, this is almost a family friendly site
TheArmsman
Case Shiner
Posts: 450
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 11:59 pm
Location: Tucson, AZ

A Retitred Technician

Postby TheArmsman » Wed Oct 11, 2017 5:53 pm

A neat joke I just heard.

A 55 year old technician is retrenched. Two weeks later, a machine breaks and no one can fix it. The whole factory grinds to a halt. They bring the technician back as a consultant. He opens the front of the machine, drags a chair up and stares at the innards of the maching all day. At the end of the day, he pulls a piece of chalk out of his pocket, chalks an X on one component and says, "Replace that." They do and the machine works. The technician puts in an unitemized invoice for $50,000. The accounts payable department refuses to pay an unitemized bill, so the technician sends them a second one.

'One chalk mark, $1. Knowing where to put chalk mark, $49,999.'
When death is inevitable, style counts.

Survival trumps programming.

User avatar
Weetabix
Good Christ I Need A Life
Posts: 5110
Joined: Sat Aug 16, 2008 12:04 am
Location: MO
Contact:

Re: A Retitred Technician

Postby Weetabix » Wed Oct 11, 2017 7:45 pm

It's Darrell. :D
Note to self: start reading sig lines. They're actually quite amusing. :D

User avatar
Rich
On a list somewhere
Posts: 2535
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 9:11 pm
Location: El Paso, Texas

Re: A Retitred Technician

Postby Rich » Wed Oct 11, 2017 10:50 pm

Weetabix wrote:It's Darrell. :D


Which one? :lol:
A weak government usually remains a servant of citizens, while a strong government usually becomes the master of its subjects.
- paraphrased from several sources

A choice, not an echo. - Goldwater campaign, 1964

User avatar
HTRN
Probably Unemployed
Posts: 10636
Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 4:05 am
Location: Under your bed with a knife
Contact:

Re: A Retitred Technician

Postby HTRN » Fri Oct 13, 2017 9:31 am

TheArmsman wrote:A neat joke I just heard.

A 55 year old technician is retrenched. Two weeks later, a machine breaks and no one can fix it. The whole factory grinds to a halt. They bring the technician back as a consultant. He opens the front of the machine, drags a chair up and stares at the innards of the maching all day. At the end of the day, he pulls a piece of chalk out of his pocket, chalks an X on one component and says, "Replace that." They do and the machine works. The technician puts in an unitemized invoice for $50,000. The accounts payable department refuses to pay an unitemized bill, so the technician sends them a second one.

'One chalk mark, $1. Knowing where to put chalk mark, $49,999.'

Ive heard a variation on this, involving a consultant, a hammer, and where to hit the machine.
EGO partum , proinde EGO sum

Describing what HTRN does as "antics" is like describing the wreck of the Titanic as "a minor boating incident" ~ First Shirt

Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europae vincendarum

User avatar
MiddleAgedKen
On a list somewhere
Posts: 2284
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 9:11 pm
Location: Flyover Country
Contact:

Re: A Retitred Technician

Postby MiddleAgedKen » Sun Oct 15, 2017 5:48 am

Michener used a variant of it in Chesapeake, when he had the oysterman Turlock (descendant of pirates) pull some wealthy yachties off a mud bank using Eastern Shore ingenuity.
Watergate didn't have a body count.

User avatar
308Mike
Moderator
Posts: 16409
Joined: Wed Aug 13, 2008 4:47 pm
Location: San Diego area, People's Republic of Kommiefornia

Re: A Retitred Technician

Postby 308Mike » Sun Oct 15, 2017 7:15 am

It's something today's companies are mostly refusing to pay - and when they do, they want the sky for additional qualifications!!! It's called EXPERIENCE!!! ;) ;) ;)
POLITICIANS & DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON

A person properly schooled in right and wrong is safe with any weapon. A person with no idea of good and evil is unsafe with a knitting needle, or the cap from a ballpoint pen.

I remain pessimistic given the way BATF and the anti gun crowd have become tape worms in the guts of the Republic. - toad

User avatar
Odahi
Loose Cannon
Posts: 629
Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 4:21 am
Location: Baltimore

Re: A Retitred Technician

Postby Odahi » Mon Oct 16, 2017 12:55 am

I heard a similar one years ago, about a mechanic. The customer limps in, car barely running. The mechanic listens a moment, pulls a screwdriver from his back pocket, reaches in, and gives a half turn. The car settles down, and starts to purr like a kitten. "How much?" "$75.00" "$75 for turning one screw?" "25 cents to turn the screw. $74.75 for knowing which screw to turn."
Birds gotta swim, fish gotta fly, assholes gotta ass.

"Common sense" is an oxymoron.

User avatar
308Mike
Moderator
Posts: 16409
Joined: Wed Aug 13, 2008 4:47 pm
Location: San Diego area, People's Republic of Kommiefornia

Re: A Retitred Technician

Postby 308Mike » Mon Oct 16, 2017 3:39 am

Odahi wrote:I heard a similar one years ago, about a mechanic. The customer limps in, car barely running. The mechanic listens a moment, pulls a screwdriver from his back pocket, reaches in, and gives a half turn. The car settles down, and starts to purr like a kitten. "How much?" "$75.00" "$75 for turning one screw?" "25 cents to turn the screw. $74.75 for knowing which screw to turn."

A couple of years ago I paid a plumber a discounted rate (IN CASH - because CASH is STILL KING) to fix a broken water line in our home. When I asked why so much, he told me it was "$12 for the part, and $300 to know where to put it and seal the rest of the leak" - which I gladly paid at the time (I've since learned more about indoor plumbing since then). :D :D :D
POLITICIANS & DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON

A person properly schooled in right and wrong is safe with any weapon. A person with no idea of good and evil is unsafe with a knitting needle, or the cap from a ballpoint pen.

I remain pessimistic given the way BATF and the anti gun crowd have become tape worms in the guts of the Republic. - toad


Return to “Humor”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest