Thor Is Now A Woman

[Greg]

MUST we rise to every stereotype

Stereotype? That tony stark is a womanizer? That comics are read by guys with few social graces and live vicariously thru the characters?


Or something I'm missing?

Hmmm. Wish I could remember where I saw it....

For a while I read some fanfic that was basically Iron Man/Hawkeye slash fic, but you could ignore that part for a while because it was just so damn hilarious.

[Jered]

Yeah, pretty much.

Seriously thought, that boobplate needs to go. We've got superhero movies poking fun at the impracticality of capes, but continue to put women in armor that could serve no purpose besides killing the person wearing it.

Sincerely puzzled here. How does the boobplate kill her? (I have no experience with armor.)

The short of it is, it's a shot trap. It guides strikes and arrows towards the center instead of deflecting them away, and with it angled for cleavage, you'd better not ever fall on it or receive a strong blow. See here.

But...bewbs.

[Netpackrat]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jDcWAWRRHo

[Jericho941]

And in other news, Archie dies protecting his gay friend who is a senator campaigning for gun control. Seriously. The only thing they left out (probably) is that the shooter is a TEA Party member or a conservative. Link
Anything to seem relevant and not be.

You're linking to a Gun Counter "reply to thread" button.

John L. Goldwater, the series originator, died 15 years ago, and is doubtless spinning in his grave.
They may as well kill him off

Archie has been in a vegetative state as a franchise long before Goldwater died. The number of family-friendly jokes that can be made about a high schooler in a love quadrangle ran out approximately three months into 1941.

What we're seeing here is simply the last gasp of the AJGLU 3000 as it spins its tapes for the final revolution, desperately attempting to stay afloat decades after it should've been keeping the Titanic company.

[dfwmtx]

Where were you guys bitching about Hollyweird messing with Norse mythology back in 2011 when the first Thor film had a black Heimdall and an Asian Hogun? But now that Thor's a woman y'all get up in arms?

:jacked:
Dear Marvel,
Things in Norse myth which would make funny films, but which won't fit in with the Norse-flavored mythology we've created:
- Loki's verbal bitchslap upon the entire company of Asgard, Odin included
- the story behind Odin's ride, and why Loki doesn't transform into mares anymore.


/ :jacked:

I fully expect Hollywood to fuck with history when they don't like it. One of these days we'll finally have another Zorro movie, but this time he'll be fighting ninjas to save King Arthur

[Aesop]

John L. Goldwater, the series originator, died 15 years ago, and is doubtless spinning in his grave.
They may as well kill him off

Archie has been in a vegetative state as a franchise long before Goldwater died. The number of family-friendly jokes that can be made about a high schooler in a love quadrangle ran out approximately three months into 1941.

What we're seeing here is simply the last gasp of the AJGLU 3000 as it spins its tapes for the final revolution, desperately attempting to stay afloat decades after it should've been keeping the Titanic company.

Somewhat true, which still says more about the desperation and attempts to trash everything than it does about the original series.
You're overlooking that to every 5-year old (and that used to be every 10-year old), it's always 1941.

[Yogimus]

[Rod]

And in other news, Archie dies protecting his gay friend who is a senator campaigning for gun control. Seriously. The only thing they left out (probably) is that the shooter is a TEA Party member or a conservative. Link
Anything to seem relevant and not be.

You're linking to a Gun Counter "reply to thread" button.

John L. Goldwater, the series originator, died 15 years ago, and is doubtless spinning in his grave.
They may as well kill him off

Archie has been in a vegetative state as a franchise long before Goldwater died. The number of family-friendly jokes that can be made about a high schooler in a love quadrangle ran out approximately three months into 1941.

What we're seeing here is simply the last gasp of the AJGLU 3000 as it spins its tapes for the final revolution, desperately attempting to stay afloat decades after it should've been keeping the Titanic company.

Thanks, here's a correct link.

[SoupOrMan]

Sif: Thou art Thor? My betrothed? Mine husband?

Thoretta: Yep.

Sif: I'll none of this.

Thoretta: Look, lady, I was found worthy of the power of Thor-

Sif: And with that power husbandly duties also pertain!

Thoretta: Oy gevalt.

Sif: If this be in the Allfather's wisdom, so be it. Come with me. In half a fortnight... I shall well and truly make thee a man.

Loki and Tony Stark (appearing from behind all-encompassing tapestries): DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMN!

Stark: Kiss her, you fool!

Loki: This is a mischief I could ne'er have played upon mine brother!

(the phone rings at Avengers Mansion)

Jarvis: Avengers Mansion, Jarvis here. Ah, Lady Sif! I... I see. Hmm, yes. Replaced his adenoids with his testicles? Heavens! I thought he'd lost them years ago! No, no, milady, his adenoids. Ah, yes. I'll prepare an ice pack for him, then. Guest? I'm sure I could whip up a room for. Oh, Loki. I see. Stable? Milady, I don't... OH. OH, DEAR. Yes, I'll have them prepared within the hour. Do take your time!

----

And seriously, why have DC and Marvel never done a Jarvis & Alfred team-up?

[Jericho941]

So, what I thought was going to be a nonsensical tempest in a teapot turned out to be exactly that, only worse.

See, I thought that Marvel was going to do a thing, people would freak out like predictable morons, it wouldn't really be that bad in the end, and out of all that, something neat might actually result. Even if by accident. This has fit the pattern before. On that note?

I was so, so wrong. This is nothing more than a stunt designed to rile the fanbase, rather than an honest attempt at a new direction.

But I was right in that Marvel is trolling its fanbase. It has to be. For the sake of controversy. The writing is so bad, it would be an insult to the concept of ironic comedy to call it "hilariously bad." Indeed, there seems to be no writing; it seriously reads as though someone copied a Twitter argument and pasted it into word bubbles.

What I THOUGHT we might see:

Villain: HA HA HA, Thor! You are a woman! Clearly you are too weak to defeat me.
Thor: But you see, I am Thor anyway!
Villain: Zounds! I am defeated!

What we actually got:

Villain: I am robbing this bank!
Thor: Stop robbing this bank!
Villain: What? Thor is supposed to be a woman now? Damn feminists are ruining everything!
Thor: Eat hammer, you sexist!
Villain: Zounds, I am defeated!
Villain's Girlfriend: Oh my god thank you for being such a badass woman.
Thor: That's cool and all but I'm still going to hit you.
VGF: Zounds, I am defeated!
Thor: #GamerGate is a joke lol

I am not exaggerating.

DC isn't doing much better, either; they wrote this scene so sloppily they unintentionally state that everything this guy says, "mansplaining" or no, is The Truth.