Excel Arrrgh!

[Darrell]

Two years ago I had to do an assets audit for my employer, at the behest of our corporate masters. This involved crawling over the entire production floor plus some other choice areas, documenting every damn piece of equipment in the building. It took me two months. Well, I told you that so I can tell you this:

It's asset audit time again. I have been busting my butt for over three weeks, inventorying and updating the Excel file listing the equipment. It was a mess, badly boogered up after I got done with it two years ago--2,300+ items somehow became 1,700, lots of equipment missing, mislabeled, serial numbers screwed up, etc.; after I was done two years ago it passed through the hands of middle and upper management, before being returned to corporate. I was wrapping up the new one today, which is the due date. I've been working on a live file, posted on the company network, and being extremely careful when editing the list. Someone Not Me (rhymes with "my hoss") got their hands on it while I was at lunch today, aiming to "improve" it. The er, hoss got me on the phone right after lunch, we were talking while simultaneously viewing the file on our computers. The file, which had been at 12+MB (167 printed pages), had magically shrunk to 11+MB. A lot of data was gone! OMFG!!! I coulda cried. The er, hoss never admitted to hosing anything, but he was the only other person with access to the file. I had the presence of mind to save a back up copy of the file, which I emailed to him. Hopefully it doesn't get screwed up this time. Seriously, for a while there I was thinking of taking up drinking again.

[PawPaw]

Seriously, for a while there I was thinking of taking up drinking again.

There's no good reason to quit drinking, unless they're medical reasons.

Speaking of your "hoss", I used to have a hoss that drank with me. A little quarter-horse gelding named Fred. He was trained as a cutting horse and retired on my hobby farm. One day, I went out to give him a good brushing prior to our Friday afternoon ride. I put my bourbon on the shelf that held the curry-comb, and while I was currying him, I noticed his green tongue in my drink. Equine slobber all over the glass. Quite disgusting. I told Fred he could have that one, saddled him and took a nice Friday afternoon ride. After the ride and the cool-down, I went inside the house and made two drinks. One for me, and one for Fred. My wife asked, and I told her that the horse liked bourbon. It got to be a regular routine. Every Friday, Fred and I would take a ride, then have a drink together.

Sorry to jack your thread. :jacked:

[Netpackrat]

Excel isn't really meant to be used as a database in the first place.

[randy]

I don't think the problem here is the software being used. I think this is a PEBKAC* error that could occur just as much with Access or any other actual database program.

*Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair. And I don't believe it's the one Darrell is sitting in.

[308Mike]

I don't think the problem here is the software being used. I think this is a PEBKAC* error that could occur just as much with Access or any other actual database program.

*Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair. And I don't believe it's the one Darrell is sitting in.

Actually, there are exceptions (like everything else), where we (my supervisor and I) were ASKED to see if WE COULD recover the data from an Accounting program SPREADSHEET (where the data came off a mainframe) which continually crashed MS Excel. After my machine's MS BS crashed on numerous occasions (just to humor the Corp MS bandwagon dummies), I used (at the time) WordPerfect's Quattro Pro, to load the HUGE comma delimited (or tab - I don't recall so many years later) file which contained FAR more data points than Excel could handle.

My machine crunched away for about 1/2 hour (and I didn't - errr, COULDN'T do anything else on THAT machine), and it finally came up with the data they wanted/needed/REQUIRED. I found it highly ironic that a business, which was one of a dedicated group of MS Partners, wasn't able to come up with the answer THEY needed until someone used an out-of-house (read NON-Microsoft) tool to get it. Quattro Pro had NO SUCH LIMITS, and therefore was able to crunch all their data and spit out the information they NEEDED, in a timely fashion (apparently, *I* was the ONLY person with an installation of WordPerfect Office, which contained Quatto Pro.

I can't count how many times I'd had to clean up other people's WORD documents with WP's REVEAL CODES to make them presentable (including some for government contracts), simply because I had the ability to do so (Microsoft actually came up with a document containing 2 MB of instructions on how to get by without Reveal Codes; which still couldn't get the job done as quickly and easily as Reveal Codes).

And now I was making data accesible which Microsoft wasn't able to (of course, I couldn't share it in the same format which caused it to crash Excel). And we were Microsoft PARTNERS! And I wasn't using a Microsoft tool/program, which continually crashed EVERY TIME you TRIED to load the data. Microsoft's programs performed as they were supposed to, WITHIN THEIR LIMITS, but yet I was able to use a DESKTOP TOOL/PROGRAM from another company, to get the data where MS failed - and NONE of their destop programs were able to get the data either (including MS ACCESS).

Sorry if I seem a little pissed about this incident. It's just that several managers and VP INSISTED I keep trying to use MS tools to retrieve the data even though MS's own tech sheets showed the data went beyond their program's capabilities (BUT, "WE'RE Microsoft Partners!!!" Came the cry!! Surely they could figure something out [using their DESTOP SOFTWARE]). And yet, using Quattro Pro software I was able to get the data they NEEDED for their report (to the SEC or other government agency - it was during merger negotiations).

Afterwards, I remember a senior manager above my bosses asking why I couldn't get the job done using Microsoft tools, and he was miffed when I told him ALL their tools failed at the desktop level. If they wanted to spend the money for another SQL Server license and such to load it ont he SERVER and then pick it apart, sure, we could have done it, but it would have been FARRRRRRR more expensive!!

Bean Counter simply huffed and walked away, never saying thanks or anything else to express how much money I'd saved the company (for a couple-hundred dollar license for the single copy of Quattro Pro) - especially since they were prepared to pay for MAIN-FRAME TIME to break it all down (which I did on my desktop).

And people wonder why they view upper management in such a dim light ('cause their bulbs aren't turned on)!!!!

[Weetabix]

Excel isn't really meant to be used as a database in the first place.

Sometimes you use what you have and what you know.

Mike - I miss Quattro Pro and WordPerfect. I could make those things dance.

[Darrell]

Excel isn't really meant to be used as a database in the first place.

Sometimes you use what you have and what you know.

Mike - I miss Quattro Pro and WordPerfect. I could make those things dance.

Well, Excel is the format of the file sent from corporate HQ, I'm sure we have no choice in the matter.