I don't know when I am going to hit an even keel that isn't a mirage, but it wasn't this weekend.
As you are very aware my wife died and that left me a little (ok a lot) a drift. I thought I had a great relationship that grenaded in my lap back in June. I thought I made some semblance of peace with that. But a confluence of things managed to rub up against each other starting on Thursday that ... well ripped some scabs off and bloodied up the whole area.
In the one sense it hurts like holy hell and I have probably eaten a total of 1000 calories since Thursday. Considering my metabolism... but even from here, I can see that in the long run it is a good thing.
The immediate triage was never really followed up with good thorough introspection and well, I have been running (away) on auto pilot. I would like to say that has ended, but to some degree (the amount that my sanity requires) it will continue. But I have seen the wounds. I have taken a good rough count on the issues. I have seen my poor attempts at dressing them and I have battled to a exhausted but better place this afternoon.
When it all gets a bit overwhelming, having the remnants of a soul sucking cold has allowed me to escape through sleep. My subconscious seems to be doing a decent job of helping my conscious brain (for a change) figure it out.
Just needed a place to admit my failings and my small amount of progress.
thanks for being that place.
the adjustment continues
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- Posts: 5272
- Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 6:01 pm
the adjustment continues
"Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not." ~Thomas Jefferson
My little part of the blogosphere. http://blogletitburn.wordpress.com/
My little part of the blogosphere. http://blogletitburn.wordpress.com/
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- Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 2:15 pm
Re: the adjustment continues
Not very demonstrative around here, but this crowd makes good listeners.
Maybe we're just jaded, but your villainy is not particularly impressive. -Ennesby
If you know what you're doing, you're not learning anything. -Unknown
Sanity is the process by which you continually adjust your beliefs so they are predictively sound. -esr
If you know what you're doing, you're not learning anything. -Unknown
Sanity is the process by which you continually adjust your beliefs so they are predictively sound. -esr
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- Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 10:59 pm
Re: the adjustment continues
You got my number, call anytime.
When death is inevitable, style counts.
Survival trumps programming.
Survival trumps programming.
- skb12172
- Posts: 7310
- Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 12:45 am
Re: the adjustment continues
That gal that dis-invited you from the trip? The one whose ex-boyfriend is still running her life?
Good riddance. Zero contact and keeping busy is how you heal and move on from that.
Good riddance. Zero contact and keeping busy is how you heal and move on from that.
There must be an end to this intimidation by those who come to this great country, but reject its culture.
- Weetabix
- Posts: 6106
- Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 11:04 pm
Re: the adjustment continues
Prayers sent. You and I haven't interacted much, but you have my email if I can help. Still haven't installed the rifle hanging straps. I'm dilatory.
Note to self: start reading sig lines. They're actually quite amusing. :D
- Rumpshot
- Posts: 3998
- Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 11:56 am
Re: the adjustment continues
I can't talk on the phone right now, but I can listen.
I have found that taking the time to explain, write it down and post for friends helps to clear my thought channels. I know you and I are going through a different set of circumstances, but mentally they are similar.
I hate to use the term, but The Gun Counter is a "safe" place for you.
You have been through a lot, more than some of the folks here are aware of, but you are probably doing better than most folks would.
Wish you were closer so we could get in some gun therapy.
I have found that taking the time to explain, write it down and post for friends helps to clear my thought channels. I know you and I are going through a different set of circumstances, but mentally they are similar.
I hate to use the term, but The Gun Counter is a "safe" place for you.
You have been through a lot, more than some of the folks here are aware of, but you are probably doing better than most folks would.
Wish you were closer so we could get in some gun therapy.
NRA Life Member
VFW Life Member
NMLRA Field Rep
North Central Arizona
VFW Life Member
NMLRA Field Rep
North Central Arizona
- FelixEstrella
- Posts: 2744
- Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 9:00 pm
Re: the adjustment continues
^^^ That!Rumpshot wrote: Wish you were closer so we could get in some gun therapy.
- Vonz90
- Posts: 4731
- Joined: Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:05 pm
Re: the adjustment continues
Gun therapy is good. Pray a bit too, that is better.
I do not think you ever get over loosing someone, but you do learn how to deal with it eventually.
I do not think you ever get over loosing someone, but you do learn how to deal with it eventually.
- evan price
- Posts: 1912
- Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:24 am
Re: the adjustment continues
Nobody here judges...we are all imperfect... but we're good listeners.
You'll get past this eventually. Surround yourself with things that bring you positive energy. Mentor some kids.
You'll get past this eventually. Surround yourself with things that bring you positive energy. Mentor some kids.
Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc
http://ohioccwforums.org/
Ohioans for Concealed Carry:THE source for Ohio CCW information and discussion!
http://ohioccwforums.org/
Ohioans for Concealed Carry:THE source for Ohio CCW information and discussion!
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- Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 6:01 pm
Re: the adjustment continues
I have had some news in that arena and I don't think the shitbag is still involved. My personal damage was but the other day seems to have put some of the bigger things to rest. I had a gestalt moment. Time will tell.skb12172 wrote:That gal that dis-invited you from the trip? The one whose ex-boyfriend is still running her life?
Good riddance. Zero contact and keeping busy is how you heal and move on from that.
"Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not." ~Thomas Jefferson
My little part of the blogosphere. http://blogletitburn.wordpress.com/
My little part of the blogosphere. http://blogletitburn.wordpress.com/